I Lost It

For a couple of weeks now I have been trying and trying to come up with some way to explain what’s been going on with me and this now month-long absence from this blog. I just haven’t been able to get it out. But I can’t stand the thought any more of people thinking that I have just abandoned ship.

No, I don’t know what will happen next with this journal of mine – I want to keep it up but it is so low on my priority list right now that I just can’t find the time or the energy to get on here. And, yes, I am struggling. Deeply and with reason. Things are bad and they have affected my eating terribly. I have continued to track everything I eat and it is slowly improving, but it is still quite bad.

I have really battled with myself over whether to post about what has been going on because it is so deeply personal, but I feel some sense of loyalty to many people who read this and can’t shake the feeling that I owe some sort of explanation. I know that’s not the case, but it’s how I feel. And I also suspect – based on some of the comments left on my blog in the past – that I have some followers who are probably thinking I am an awful deserter. Perhaps that’s my own insecurities coming out, but – again – it has played into my decision to briefly explain my hiatus…

I was pregnant.

My husband and I very much wanted the baby – we had been trying and were beyond excited when we found out about the pregnancy. But it turned out that the embryo was in my right fallopian tube and that I had to have surgery to have it removed. I was told the tube would rupture and that I could die if I didn’t. I cried so much that I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror.

I had been sent to emergency the day after I last posted and I spent the night in the hospital and had the surgery the next day. The doctors have followed my blood work to make sure that everything returns to normal, but it hasn’t. I was told they missed some cells and that I had to have an injection – a drug often used in chemotherapy treatments to stop the development of rapidly growing cells – to stop their growth. Again, the threat was tubal rupture. And now, almost a week after that, my numbers just came back as inconclusive, so I don’t know if the drug worked or not. I am supposed to hear back from one of the doctors tomorrow about where we go from here.

So, I can’t offer anything more than that right now. I am doing the best that I can – as we all do – in every moment. And I will continue to do so regardless of my circumstances or my state of mind. All we can do is try… and trust that everything happens for a reason.

I'm Okay

I am doing okay. I’m not great, but I’m not terrible either. Tomorrow is a big day and it’s probably really going to establish how my mood develops for the next little while. It would be a gross underestimate to say that I am hoping things go well…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 1/4 cup strawberries
- 1 cranberry almond granola bar
- 3 slices cranberry whole grain toast with margarine
- 1 cup peach yogurt with 3/4 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 2 packages string cheese
- 1 1/2 cups canned peaches
- 1 cup celery with Italian dressing
- 2 heated sandwiches on cheese buns with cheese slices, fat free mayonnaise, and margarine
- 2 pieces of angel food cake with light lemon whipped cream

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Hanging In There

I am wiped. My mood has been up and down all day, but I am trying to stay positive. It’s hard when I feel so tired, but it’s been such an emotional week I suppose I am doing as well as I can.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 2 slices whole grain toast with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on whole grain bread with fat free mayonnaise and margarine
- 3 cups braised noodles
- 2 slices cranberry whole grain toast with margarine

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

Things Are Looking Up

I am counting my blessings. I can’t help but be anxious that things may start to unravel again at any moment, but for now I am finally seeing a little bit of light at what has been feeling like a long, dark tunnel.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 1/2 cups canned pears
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup whole grain Cheerios cereal
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with steak, cheese, onions, mushrooms, hot honey mustard, and zesty sauce
- 8 cranberry hazelnut whole grain crackers
- 1 banana
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1 baked potato with sour cream and margarine
- 10 whole grain crackers with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

Gung Haggis Fat Choy

The multicultural celebration I attended this evening was a welcome distraction, but it kept me nibbling all night long. At least the food wasn’t junk like chips and cookies though.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 12 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on whole grain bread with mayonnaise and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup multi grain Cheerios cereal
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with steak, cheese, onion, mushrooms, zesty sauce, and hot honey mustard sauce
- 1 cup canned pears
- 1/8 cup barbecued pork
- 1 bite of haggis and pork dim sum with sauce
- 1 small turnip cake
- 1 bite of a haggis deep fried wonton
- 1/2 cup vegetable and winter melon soup
- 2 diced vegetable lettuce wraps with sauce
- 1 bite haggis
- 1/4 cup steamed salmon
- 1/2 cup broccoli, mushroom, and deep fried tofu dish
- 1/2 cup crispy chicken
- 2 cups braised noodles
- 2 bites coconut pudding
- 2 bites mango pudding
- 1 heated banana nut muffin with margarine

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

I Am

I am getting a bit heavy with the carbohydrates, but I am still staying on track. Given my current circumstances I am amazed...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 4 inch sub on a ciabatta bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, mayonnaise, mustard, and pepper
- 1 1/2 cups whole grain Cheerios with 1 cup milk
- 4 packages string cheese
- 15 whole grain cranberry and hazelnut crackers
- 1 toasted cranberry bagel with melted cheese
- 3 slices homemade green onion quick bread with margarine
- 1 1/2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 1 extra large glass piña colada slushy drink

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

It’s Complicated

I am doing the best that I can. Lists may have to be all I put up on here for a couple more days.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with light peanut butter and homemade strawberry jam
- 3 packages string cheese
- 1 banana
- 2 cups chicken chow mien
- 8 inch sub on a ciabatta bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, mayonnaise, mustard, and pepper

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

I Am Here

I am here, but that is really all I can do right now.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with light peanut butter and homemade strawberry jam
- 2 pieces ham quiche
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with cheese
- 4 low fat lemon poppy seed and butterscotch chip muffins with margarine
- 1 cup pasta with Parmesan cream sauce
- 2 pork chops
- 1 mug steamed coconut flavoured milk
- 3 packages string cheese

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Nothing To Say

I’m just posting my lists tonight. The day has been too much.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 12 inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with steak, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, black olives, chipotle sauce, and pepper
- 1 dark chocolate almond fiber bar
- 2 pieces broccoli and ham quiche

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Again...

…I am just too tired to think up anything creative to write. I’m still doing alright with the eating though.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with organic beef, cheese, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 12 whole wheat crackers with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 blueberry waffle with margarine and maple syrup
- 1 pear
- 4 sausages
- 1 cup pasta with Parmesan cream sauce
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 3 slices whole wheat toast with light peanut butter and homemade strawberry jam

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Drooling On The Pillow

I can’t even think straight, I’m so tired. The eating was pretty decent today, but the exercise was nearly non existent. I’m working on it…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 apple
- 3 cups pasta with cheese sauce
- 1 egg custard tart
- 1 orange
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with light peanut butter and homemade strawberry jam
- 10 whole wheat crackers with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 1 cup frosted wheat cereal

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Pleasant Dreams

I am so tired, but so happy…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 toasted cheese bagel with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 1 dark chocolate almond fiber bar
- 12 inch toasted sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with steak, cheese, lettuce, tomato, black olives, onions, chipotle sauce, and pepper
- 1 slice roast beef with gravy
- 2 Yorkshire pudding buns
- 1/2 cup corn
- 2 slices banana bread with butter
- 1 1/2 cups honey mustard flavoured pretzel pieces
- 1 apple

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Keep On Truckin’

It was another amazing day although I far overdid it on the desserts tonight. I did, however, make a conscious effort to compensate earlier in the day since I knew there was to be celebrations this evening. Hopefully things even out fairly well on the scale. In the meanwhile I am feeling good and the walk I got in today was lovely. I am taking a bit of a road trip tomorrow so I will have to be careful about the snacks that I pack. Here’s hoping I do well!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 toasted cheese bagel with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 3 cups green salad with honey mustard dressing
- 1 cup sliced apples with low fat caramel sauce
- 1/2 cup trail mix
- 4 gherkin pickles
- 1 cup dried pineapple and papaya
- 1 cup mixed green salad with nuts, apple, and Italian dressing
- 2 slices ham with mustard sauce
- 3/4 cup steamed broccoli with mustard sauce
- 1 piece tuna quiche
- 1/2 cup scalloped potatoes
- 2 slices fat free angel food cake with lemon whipped cream
- 1 slice key lime pie with chocolate graham crust and whipped cream
- 1 vanilla cupcake with icing and sprinkles

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk

Life Is Grand!

Today was incredible – it was one of the best days I can remember! I finally got to celebrate my birthday with family (with one last party to come tomorrow with yet another group) and it was just a wonderful day all around. I am so, so blessed!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 egg omelet with cheese and mushrooms
- 2 slices whole grain toast with butter and strawberry jam
- 1 bite French toast on white bread with butter and maple syrup
- 1 toasted cheese bagel with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 4 yam fries with spicy mayonnaise
- 2 cups Caesar salad with Parmesan and croutons
- 7 jumbo shrimp
- 6 oz steak
- 1/2 baked potato with sour cream, bacon, and green onion
- 1/2 chocolate brownie dessert with ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sprinkles
- 1 homemade lemon tart
- 4 homemade cookies

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Somewhere Along The Way This Ramble Got Philosophical

Okay, I am starting to feel like I am getting this eating thing more and more in control. I am having fewer sweets and when I do indulge it is with lower fat options. I am having greater success with turning down temptations and with talking myself out of cravings. I am even slowly starting to work a few servings of produce back into my menus.

I know that I need to tackle portions. I am often making healthier choices yet am consuming too much of a good thing, so to speak. I also need to increase those fruits and vegetables from the token helpings to a higher majority within my eating regimen. My water intake, too, is getting much, much better, but – again – there is a lot of room for improvement. I am not as consistent as I would like to be with getting all the H2O my body needs.

I have been working hard at improving my habits and at leaving the temporary regression I went through in the past. I am moving forward, but – most importantly, I think – I am allowing myself the understanding that I would offer to any other human being in these circumstances.

I am not perfect. I had a great streak – an amazingly, nearly unbelievable one, in fact – but it came to a screeching halt a few months ago. I don’t know what the trigger was or if there even was one. I don’t know if I just got careless or if it could happen again. What I am sure of is that what I have done does not define what I will do. If it did, I never would have lost a hundred plus pounds in the first place after years and years of struggling with obesity.

The truth is that this journey is worth it, but it can also be heartbreaking in some ways. Living up to the expectations we set out for ourselves is a tricky business. We need to find the balance between challenge and trial. We can’t achieve what we personally define as success without trying to be more than we think we are, but we also can’t weigh down our hearts and minds and bodies with the effort of driving ourselves towards some ideal accomplished with utterly unblemished progress.

Perfection always has been and always will be the impossible goal… and thank goodness for that! To push ourselves towards betterment is one of the best things about being alive, but I can’t imagine how boring and stale life would suddenly become if we ever achieved absolutely everything we ever wanted. I forget that sometimes.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 1/4 cups vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with cheese
- 1 cup pasta with garlic Alfredo sauce
- 1 apple
- 1 cup meatballs in mushroom sauce
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup seasoned basmati rice
- 1 cheese bagel with low fat herb and garlic cream cheese
- 3 1/2 warm low fat banana and chocolate chip muffins

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Beddy Bye

I am so tired. I just had to turn down gourmet baked goods too. Sigh… It’s time for bed.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with cheese
- 10 large wheat crackers with 2 light Laughing Cow wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 9 cheese crackers with cheese
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 1 heated wrap on a soft tortilla shell with chicken, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3 1/2 warm low fat oatmeal and butterscotch chip muffins with margarine
- 4 cups popcorn with margarine

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

On Hold

Wow, it got late quick! I am way too tired to even focus right now, so the lists will have to wait until I can edit them into this post tomorrow...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with cheese
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 24 large wheat crackers with 4 light Laughing Cow wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread with margarine
- 1 cup red peppers
- 12 inch sun on a white bun with steak, cheese, mushrooms, onion, and zesty sauce
- 2 large glasses ginger ale
- 1 piece heated homemade apple crumble
- 4 thin mint cookies

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Calling It

I held it together today in the face of chocolate, an apple fritter, homemade apple crumble and the offer to visit one of my favourite bakeries. I’m going to call it a good day and call it a night.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted English muffin with cheese
- 2 crab wraps on soft tortilla shells with imitation crab meat, spinach, fat free mayonnaise, mustard, and pepper
- 3 cups Caesar salad with croutons and bacon bits
- 1 slice garlic toast on white bread
- 1 cup cheesy scalloped potatoes
- 3 slice ham with mustard
- 48 small wheat crackers with 2 light Laughing Cow wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

No Birthday Bumps

I had the most fantastic, amazing, and wonderful day I have had in ages!!! It was my birthday today and my incredible husband arranged for a fun filled day packed with loved ones, treats, and activities! I had the best time!!! I have to say that – eating be damned – today it was worth every calorie. Tomorrow I will be back at it harder than ever thanks to this rejuvenating lift! Besides, we finished off the day with a nice evening stroll to burn off a few of those extras!

What a day!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 2 toasted English muffins with eggs, bacon, cheese, and butter
- 1 individual banana and chocolate pie
- 1 mug pumpkin spice steamed skim milk
- 1 sour cream glazed doughnut
- 1/2 apple fritter
- 1 extra large glass piña colada slushy drink
- 4 bites peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 glass lime slushy drink
- 8 inch personal pizza with ham, shrimp, cheese, pineapple, and tomato sauce
- 2 glasses root beer
- 2 chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing and sprinkles
- 2 cups popcorn with butter
- 1/2 cup chocolate covered peanut butter candies

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk

Irresistible

Most people who have been following this blog for some time now know that I have been absolutely awful for responding to comments, questions, etc. for the past several months. It has been something I have felt that I had to drastically reduce (and, let’s be honest, practically eliminate altogether) in order to continue this online journal with any degree of success whatsoever. Even recently, with me finally building up a tiny bit of progress again, I have just not been able to bring myself to be there more fully for the online community when I am struggling so much to keep my own head above the water. I know how horrible that sounds. I’m just doing the best that I can…

But every once in a while something reaches me – there’s no rhyme or reason to what it is; I think it more depends on my mood du jour than anything else. Today was one of those days.

So thank you very, very much Kristi for the award. I don’t really feel like I deserve it, and I am hoping that this minor baring of the soul will serve in place of a more formal cooperation with the rules of ‘tell five of my guilty pleasures’, yet it means a lot that people out there still get a little something from my writing. This journey is so worth it, and this was exactly what I needed today to remember that.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 2 slices cheese toast on white bread
- 3/4 cup strawberry yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 35 small wheat crackers with 2 light Laughing Cow wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with egg salad, lettuce, and butter
- 1 extra large glass piña colada slushy drink
- 2 1/2 cups fettuccine Alfredo
- 1 garlic toast wedge
- 1 heated bacon and cheese biscuit with butter

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

New Year’s Resolution

I did pretty well again today. I am feeling better and better about the decisions I have been making food wise lately. I know that I am not fully back into the healthy swing of things by any means, but what I am consuming has improved by leaps and bounds compared to what I was eating in December. I hope the rest of the month sees the continuation of this trend!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free lemon chiffon yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 2 pieces cheese toast on white bread
- 12 large crackers with hot pepper jelly and 2 light Laughing Cow cheese wedges
- 1 cup blueberry yogurt
- 1 banana
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with steak, cheese, onions, and peppercorn sauce
- 1 large piña colada slushy drink
- 1 glass pomegranate cherry juice
- 1 sunflower seed

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Why So Glum, Chum?

I am feeling blue. I don’t really have a specific reason – it just is what it is. I guess with still being sick and having had such an emotional week and feeling very tired too it was all bound to catch up to me. Hopefully tomorrow is better…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 1/2 cup sunflower seeds
- 1 piece quiche
- 2 pieces cheese toast on white bread
- 1 1/2 cups small cheese flavoured crackers and dried cranberries
- 1 small Spartan apple
- 2 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wraps on soft tortilla shells
- 1 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk

A Sweet Victory

It was a high carbohydrate day today but I did manage to avoid the sweets, which is especially good considering I was craving them pretty heavily this evening. All in all the day was so-so with the food list, but I suppose rather victorious given all the junk that I kept on thinking about eating.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 2 slices cheese toast on white bread
- 1 cup chicken noodle soup
- 1/2 cup carrots
- 2 slices of ham quiche
- 1 1/2 pieces of garlic bread with Parmesan
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup cranberry almond wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 45 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (all 15 minutes long)

Fuzzy Logic

We took our cat in to be cremated today. Considering how emotional this has been, I am shocked that I haven’t gone off the deep end more with my eating. I miss her…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter
- 3/4 cup fat free black cherry yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 2 rice cakes with cream cheese
- 1 cup celery with hummus
- 1 cup spicy rice with corn
- 6 meatballs in gravy
- 2 cups strawberry peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 5 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (15 minutes long, 15 minutes long, and 35 minutes long)

Farewell

One of my cats passed away this evening. She – as is my other one – was eighteen. We knew it was coming, but it was still incredibly hard to say goodbye. It’s hard to hold back the tears even now…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 3/4 cup fat free spiced apple yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter
- 1 1/2 rolled soft tortilla shells with hummus
- 1 cup broccoli with hummus
- 1 baked potato with margarine and sour cream
- 1 cup meatloaf with ketchup
- 1 slice of a caramel apple cinnamon pudding ring

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

Three Times A Charm

I’m still doing pretty well! I can’t help but feel like I should continue holding my breath waiting for this to deteriorate, but so far so good. I even took a peak online for new food ideas and menu planning today. Here’s hoping for more forward motion!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 banana
- 1 glass cranberry cocktail juice
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with steak, cheese, onion, and peppercorn sauce
- 2 bites of a yam sushi roll
- 1 bite of a pork dumpling with sauce
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cheese sandwich on a brown bun with spinach, fat free mayonnaise, and mustard
- 3/4 cup low fat strawberry banana yogurt with 1/2 cup sunflower seeds

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Two Days Down…

Okay, this is going pretty well… I am feeling a little gun shy because of how quickly any progress seems to be crumbling lately, but this is the second day in a row where I feel like my eating was much more controlled and healthy. Considering that today was a very, very emotional day for me I am actually counting this as a rather large success!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 glass pineapple coconut juice
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with steak, cheese, onion, mushrooms, barbecue sauce, and zesty sauce
- 1 glass lemonade

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Finally!

Okay, I am finally looking at my food list and not feeling like there is a big ‘fail’ marked somewhere on it. I’m not saying it’s perfect, but I am happy to have at least one day under my belt that is an improvement!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 8 crackers with cheese
- 1 small Mandarin orange
- 1 large glass of piña colada slushy drink
- 1 cup honey garlic chicken
- 1 cup black bean beef with mushrooms
- 1 cup sweet and sour pork balls
- 1 1/2 cups chow mien

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Blah!

I’m sick and I’m tired and I’m a little sick and tired of feeling this way too…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 grilled cheese sandwich on enriched white bread with margarine and fat free mayonnaise
- 1 3/4 cup canned peaches
- 4 homemade miniature shortbread cookies with icing sugar
- 2/3 cup homemade pecan fudge
- 2 slices roast beef
- 2 1/2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 1/2 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 chicken nugget with honey mustard sauce
- 1 glass of ginger ale

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sick Of The Excuses

I am sick! Argh! I think the poor eating habits I have had of late are catching up with me. I don’t remember getting a cold more than once when I was being diligent about what I consumed. I need to get back to that state, but I am still struggling. At least I am not giving up!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 2 slices white enriched bread with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on white enriched bread with margarine and fat free mayonnaise
- 3 cups pasta with creamy cheese sauce, canned shrimp, and grated cheese
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

A Good Start

Well, I started out the day really strong and I got in am amazing, long walk. Things were going really well! Then the exhaustion set in with what feels like the start of a cold and my willpower flew right out of me. Sigh… At least the majority of the day was good.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup almond wheat flake granola cereal
- 2 scrambled eggs with pepper
- 1 banana
- 1 strawberry cereal bar
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 cups pasta with meat sauce and grated cheese
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 50 minute walk

Tomorrow Will Be Better

Tomorrow marks the official end of our holidays so I sense a recommitment to this jounrey coming on. It's none too soon either…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 1 glasses of water
- 25 multigrain crackers with cream cheese
- 1 large sugar plum candy cane
- 1 large glass root beer
- 2 cheeseburgers on hamburger buns with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 large piña colada slushy drink
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 2 small peanut butter chocolate bars
- 2 orange cream chocolates
- 1 tiger butter chocolate
- 1 lemon cream chocolate
- 1 ice wine truffle
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 ice cream sandwich
- 2 cream filled sponge cakes
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 1 orange cream chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Exercising My Rights

I really need to get going on my exercise! It’s been a couple of weeks since I did anything in the way of formally working out!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 22 cheese crackers with cream cheese
- 1/2 cup homemade cranberry almond chocolate bark
- 3 chocolate balls
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Twenty-Ten

2010 was a year of experiences! Some were exceptional, some mundane, some joyous and blissful, and others difficult and trying. All of them were necessary in their own way.

I have learned a great deal over these past twelve months – the least of which is not that maintaining is really, really hard. This weight loss journey has been a momentous one for me, but I know that I have stumbled for more than my fair share of the past few months.

I was so focused on the losses that I don’t think I planned out well enough how to sustain my weight once it was at a healthy level. I know that I have accomplished a great deal - I lost over 100 pounds! But I have a lot more work to do still and, fortunately, I am feeling up to it. I know this is coming off as the typical New Year’s resolution, but it is what it is. We all employ the tools that we have available and find the successes that we can through such means.

At any rate, I know that I need to slip back into the dropping mode for a short while to return to a place where I am happier with my weight. However, the main focus will soon need to be learning how to incorporate the lessons I have learned so far on this journey and applying them to maintaining.

2010 was an amazing year, but 2011 will be truly exceptional!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 2 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup frosted wheat cereal
- 1 large piña colada slushy drink
- 1 1/4 cup French fries with salt and honey mustard sauce
- 2 cheeseburgers on hamburger buns with onion, ketchup, and mustard
- 2 glasses root beer
- 12 inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, black olives, onion, mayonnaise, honey mustard, and pepper
- 1 white chocolate macadamia nut cookie

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats