And A Happy New Year!

Not much to say… I know that I am doing horribly on the eating and exercise front, but I am also surprisingly confident about my commitment to turning this around. Hubby and I have just a couple of days left until the holidays are officially over and life goes back to normal, and I suppose I am taking full advantage. All I can say is that I am looking forward to the new year!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 7 vegetable crackers with cream cheese
- 7 chocolate doughnut holes with icing
- 1 large root beer milkshake
- 3/4 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 personal Hawaiian pizza
- 3/4 cup sour gummy candies
- 1 bite of a nougat chocolate bar
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 glass lemon lime soda
- 12 shortbread biscuits
- 2 glasses of ice wine
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge
- 1 peanut butter chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Let's Try This

Okay. I have all of the junk in the house packed up and ready to go to my husband’s work. Onward!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1/2 piece pita bread
- 1 cup roast lamb
- 1/4 roast potato
- 1 glass of eggnog
- 6 chocolate doughnut holes with icing
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 30 vegetable crackers with cream cheese
- 4 pieces of almond roca
- 4 chocolates with peppermint filling
- 1 large glass of a piña colada slushy drink
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 bite of a glazed doughnut
- 1/4 cup smokehouse almonds
- 3 chocolates with chocolate filling
- 2 chocolates with peanut butter filling
- 3 chocolates with maple filling
- 2 chocolate peppermint sticks

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Trudging Along

My eating was a little better than it has been so far this week. It still had much too much in the way of sweets. I am working at it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 hot chocolate with whipped cream
- 2 scrambled eggs with salt
- 1 piece of stuffed cinnamon raisin French toast with strawberries, strawberry sauce, and whipped cream
- 2 slices of bacon with maple syrup
- 6 cup popcorn with butter and salt
- 1 glass of cola
- 10 chocolates with white chocolate filling
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 apple fritter
- 16 cheese crackers with cream cheese
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Once More, With Feeling

I did very poorly today. I got some bad news that left me feeling really down and completely let that dictate how I ate. I am bloated and I feel disappointed. Time to turn this around…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 glasses of eggnog
- 11 large crackers with jalapeño cheese
- 9 coffee flavoured toffees
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 1 slice of apple pie with 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
- 10 whole wheat crackers with cream cheese and hot pepper jelly
- 4 glasses of lemon-lime soda
- 1 pita pocket with tzatziki
- 1 cup of roast lamb
- 1 cup rice with tzatziki
- 1/2 cup tomatoes with feta cheese and balsamic vinaigrette
- 2 jumbo prawns with melted butter
- 2 pieces of a homemade chocolate and peanut butter marshmallow bar
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 1 piece of a homemade coconut fudge and pecan bar
- 1 sample of lemon ice cream
- 1 sample of cranberry ice cream
- 1 scoop of eggnog ice cream and 1 scoop of coconut ice cream on a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 eggnog streamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Not Back On The Horse Just Yet

Hmmm… This holiday feasting seems to be taking a little longer to get under control than I originally thought. Again, there was too much in the way of sugary treats. On the somewhat more positive side, there were also more healthy options today; there just weren’t enough of them. I will keep at it though.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 cup carrots, broccoli, and yellow pepper with roasted garlic dip
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 chocolate marshmallow treat
- 1 peppermint cream filled chocolate
- 1 cherry cream filled chocolate
- 1 piece of almond roca
- 1 miniature peanut butter cup
- 1 orange cream filled chocolate
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 brown bun with margarine
- 1 cup stuffing
- 3 slices of honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 2/3 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1 slice apple pie with 1 cup vanilla ice cream
- 3 small Mandarin oranges
- 1 cheese bagel with cream cheese
- 1 glass juice
- 1 sour cream glazed doughnut

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

One More Christmas

Well, what I ate was not really better than yesterday, but the quantity was a little more reigned in. Maybe it’s bad that I am not all that concerned, but considering that my hubby and I just got to do our Christmas today I felt pretty okay with letting the celebratory eating go a little further.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 heated turkey sandwiches on white buns with mayonnaise and margarine
- 2 pieces of heated homemade cranberry apple crisp with 1 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 10 chocolates with white chocolate filling
- 1 cup flavoured jelly beans
- 1/2 cup smokehouse almonds
- 1 mug hot apple cider

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

I'm Dreaming Of A Light Christmas

We managed to make our way around to visit and celebrate with four different groups of people today! It was fabulous to spend time with loved ones, but I am beyond stuffed. Seriously, my food list is probably as horrific as it has ever been on here! I will leave this day of overindulgence where it belongs though – in the past – and move forward with healthier choices tomorrow. Now that’s a great Christmas gift!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1/2 cup candied almonds and dried cranberries
- 2 pieces homemade stollen with sugar and butter
- 1/2 cup party mix snack
- 1 large eggnog milkshake
- 1 1/4 cups French fries with salt and honey mustard sauce
- 2 cheeseburgers on hamburger buns with onion, ketchup, and mustard
- 15 cheese crackers with cheese
- 1/2 cup cheezies
- 1/4 cup jelly beans
- 1 glass diet lemon lime soda
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 4 gherkin pickles
- 1 cup grape, broccoli, celery, green onion, and pecan salad with a homemade mayonnaise, vinegar, and sugar dressing
- 1/2 cup stuffing
- 1/2 turkey leg with cranberry sauce
- 1/4 cup corn with margarine
- 1 white dinner bun with butter
- 2 pieces of a homemade chocolate and peanut butter marshmallow bar
- 1 piece of a homemade coconut fudge and pecan bar
- 2 slices of a homemade pistachio and raspberry holiday log
- 12 herb crackers with spicy cheese
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge
- 1 cup homemade trifle
- 2 miniature peanut butter cups
- 1 piece of almond roca
- 1 nut cluster
- 1/8 cup flavoured jelly beans

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

I am in a wonderful mood and feeling sated from a warm family Christmas dinner! We are on our way out to see some close friends so there will likely be a bit more eating in my near future, but no time for later posting, so I am journalling what I have consumed so far and will post any extras on here tomorrow! I hope everyone is enjoying a fabulous holiday season!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1/8 cup party mix snack
- 1/2 cup dark turkey meat with cranberry jelly
- 2 white buns with butter
- 1/2 cup corn with margarine
- 1/2 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with margarine
- 1 cup stuffing
- 2 1/2 cups homemade trifle
- 3 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 2 homemade chocolate and vanilla fruit cookies
- 2 pieces of a homemade coconut layer bar
- 1 cup dried pineapple, mango, and papaya

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Homemade

Okay. I admit it. I went too heavy on the Christmas goodies today. I have been better about turning down all sorts of store bought junk of late, but I am finding the homemade stuff really hard to refuse! Even so, considering how much home baked treats I had in front of me today – from several different sources – I actually think I did better than many others would have. But, it’s still something to work on.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 1 pita pocket with tzatziki
- 1 1/2 cups Caesar salad with croutons
- 1 cup Greek seasoned rice
- 1 lamb souvlaki skewer with tzatziki
- 2 homemade shortbread wedges
- 3 homemade buns with margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 3 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Christmas Countdown

I just need to get through a few more days and I will actually have some spare time again… right?!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 2 slices of honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 glass of organic root beer
- 1 1/2 cups fettuccine Alfredo
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 45 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (20 minutes long and 25 minutes long)

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

I had a pretty cruddy day. Lots of stuff seemed to go wrong and I am feeling sorry for myself. I think I did alright with the eating, considering the emotions of my day were paired with a birthday party. Hopefully tomorrow is better...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with bacon, eggs, cheese, and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 4 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 3 slices of white bread with butter
- 3 1/2 cups fettuccine Alfredo
- 1 slice of ice cream cake

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Write And Wrong

It’s not hard to tell that my days are getting busier and busier again with Christmas fast approaching. I was getting a little better at posting slightly more insightful entries, but I seem to be back to barely jotting down a couple of brief thoughts just before heading to bed. At least I am still writing something!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 mugs eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with margarine, turkey bacon, cheese, and egg white
- 3 slices honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 cup cheese scalloped potatoes
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with dill cream sauce
- 2 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Slip

It was a bit too much of a lackadaisical day on the food front for me today. I definitely let my guard down a little more and shouldn’t have. And I had no idea what kettle corn tasted like prior to this evening. It is now officially on my list of foods not to buy for myself! And the cheesecake is already packed up for my husband to take to his co-workers tomorrow.

I just have to keep at it. Slips don’t have to mean that I fall down on my face…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 12 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1/2 cup cashews
- 1 piece of a homemade fudge coconut bar
- 3 homemade buns with margarine
- 3 homemade chocolate and peppermint cookies
- 2 slices of whole grain toast with cheese
- 6 gherkin pickles
- 1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes and carrots with sun dried tomato dip
- 6 cups kettle corn
- 1 mug of hot apple cider
- 1 slice of birthday cake with icing and sprinkles
- 12 spicy potato chips
- 1 slice homemade cranberry eggnog cheesecake with chocolate crust and whipped cream

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Yuletide Cheer

Well, even though tonight means that I probably gained back what I have lost from following a healthier diet this week, I actually don’t think I did too badly this evening. It was our big Christmas party with lots of homemade treats and delicious dinnertime favourites. I did show a little restraint though. I was even given a bottle of ice wine as a hostess gift, but I didn’t even open it! All in all it was a wonderful night with family and friends. Regardless of what the scale says tomorrow, I am thrilled that the night was so much fun!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 orange
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 4 homemade pull apart buns with butter
- 15 whole grain cranberry crackers with herb cheese
- 2 slices honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 cup cheese scalloped potatoes
- 1 cup Caesar salad with bacon, cheese, croutons, and light dressing
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with dill cream sauce
- 4 gherkin pickles
- 1 slice homemade cranberry eggnog cheesecake with a chocolate crust and whipped cream
- 2 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 2 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 1 homemade sugar cookie with icing and sprinkles
- 1/2 cup chocolate mints

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Beat

I am beyond beat right now. So much for doing so well at getting to bed at a decent hour…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 1 pear
- 1 hazelnut chocolate
- 1 raspberry cereal bar
- 1 cup celery, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, and carrots with ranch dip
- 7 cheese and potato perogies with onion and sour cream
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Half Baked

I am feeling pretty good about today and yesterday. I got the majority of my Christmas baking done over the past 24 hours and I didn’t sample a single cookie nor even taste a lick of batter. I am really happy about that!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with cheese
- 3/4 cup peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pear
- 1 bagel with cream cheese
- 1 cup pineapple
- 1 small mug hot chocolate
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Progressing Towards Progress

Something that has been helping me lately on all fronts is that – even though I am still feeling the incredible busyness of the season – I have been getting to sleep at relatively reasonable hours for most of this week. Another good habit that has been helpful for getting back on the healthier bandwagon is that I have been trying not to eat after 8pm. It’s all baby steps, but I do feel like I am making some progress towards more consistently healthy choices.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 1 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cup pasta with white cheddar sauce
- 1 pear
- 8 cheese and potato perogies with fried onions and sour cream
- 5 large crackers with cheese

EXERCISE:

Just Desserts

Well, I just figured out what I will be making for dessert for our Christmas party! I will be adapting a recipe that I found for eggnog cranberry cheesecake! Yum, yum, yum! I really hope it turns out! It certainly is not the healthiest option, but I always do something special for the holidays and I am pretty sure that my guests will make sure there is nothing left for me to binge on after our gathering. It feels good to be planning on a little indulgence without the worry of leftovers.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted raisin bagel with cheese slices
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 1 fried quesadilla with 2 soft tortilla shells and cheese
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 3 1/2 cups celery, carrots, tomato, and cucumber with creamy dill dip

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

Issues And Tissues

The day has flown by with one time-consuming moment after another and I feel like I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished. That’s not good considering how much I have on my ‘to do’ list this week! At least I am feeling a tiny bit better today. The sinus congestion has turned into a runny nose, which means I am running out of tissues, but I am pretty sure I am on the mend.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 bananas
- 1 cup beef in black bean sauce
- 1 cup honey garlic pork
- 1 1/2 cups chow mien
- 1 large tropical smoothie
- 2 hard boiled eggs
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 2 pork chops

EXERCISE:
- 50 minute walk

Yes, I Would Like Some Cheese With That

I am sick! Ugh! I have been fighting it and fighting it for a few days now, but I must concede: I have a cold! And it’s that can-barely-breathe type of cold too – the kind where if you couldn’t open your mouth you would probably asphyxiate. I am so achy too. And I have an annoying cough. Sigh...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 bite of cheese with pear jelly
- 3/4 cup green salad with Caesar dressing
- 1 toasted raisin bagel with cheese slices
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and granola bar
- 1 cup chicken bites with mustard
- 1 cup garlic and chive roast potatoes
- 3 homemade cheese biscuits with margarine
- 1 pear

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sizing Things Up

I found a stash of old clothes today. That was interesting. They were all bigger, random sizes: everything from 18 through 24. My husband asked if I could get both of my legs into one of the pant legs on a particularly large pair of corduroys and I could. Wow!

The thing that astounded me the most though is when I realized why I had put away all of those clothes and somehow forgotten about them. At some point, they were all too small.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted raisin English muffin with pepperoni and cheese slices
- 3/4 cup peach yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 4 cups beef and broccoli
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 1/2 pears

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

One Theory

I had a hard time deciding whether to bring attention to this or not, but I really think that I must...

I find the theories that are bouncing around about how my past months of struggle have been an experiment are quite insulting to anyone who is dealing with the issue of overeating. I have been nothing but honest in what I write on here and all that has been witnessed is a very raw glimpse into the ongoing journey of someone who doesn’t have it right just yet. The only difference between what I have been experiencing and what countless men and women go through on a daily basis is that I had an audience. You may not understand what has been happening with me – I don’t need you to – but I do request that you don’t make light of the difficulties people like me go through. Please, for the sake of those who come here looking for help in their own struggles, do not make wild inferences about the intentions of this blog. Surely those who are experiencing similar difficulties do not need to hear that there are people out there that simply can't comprehend it as being a reality for some. It is real. And so, too, is the potential for such unacceptance to cause damage to others.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 bananas
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and pepper
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 cups tortilla chips with salsa
- 2 pieces of ham and cheese quiche
- 2 homemade cheese biscuits
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk

Warming Up

I think I did fairly well today with the eating. Considering that we had problems with the heat quitting on us and my stress level jumped up at that little issue, I would say that I am happy with how things went. One step at a time, right?

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and pepper
- 2 pancakes with margarine and syrup
- 1/2 apple pear
- 1/2 cup breaded chicken bites with mustard
- 1 cup chicken flavoured basmati rice
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with margarine
- 6 honey garlic chicken wings

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Vicious Circle

A few days ago I decided to take what I can only describe as a food vacation. I have done my very best to loosen my mental concerns around this area because I really have not given myself such a break since beginning this journey back in August of last year. This is not to say that I have eaten well all of the time – in fact, it's no secret that the last couple of months have been really horrible – but I have been far too mindful of what I was eating and I needed to give myself a reprieve.

When every single morsel that goes past your lips is considered in great, over-analytical detail it can become a very painful process for someone who is stuck in the guilty circle of overeating. So I took a few days. And I am very, very glad that I did.

And now its time to get back at it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 1 banana
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 1/4 cups pretzels
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese
- 1 small glass wild cherry juice
- 1 strawberry cereal bar
- 1 eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 large apple fritter
- 1 coconut shortbread cookie topped with jam
- 3/4 of a chocolate éclair
- 2 strawberry milkshakes
- 1 bite of a chocolate frosty
- 1 large lime smoothie
- 5 small slices of pizza bread

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour of a capoeira class
- 15 minute walk

Happy Birth Day!

Regardless of the troubles that we may sometimes face, there is always a ray of sunshine waiting to push away even the darkest of clouds…

My step sister had a baby today and I just couldn’t be happier for her and her family!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 5 butter toffee rice cakes
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry bar with icing
- 1 peanut butter chocolate bar
- 1 large glass of root beer
- 6 inch toasted sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, black olives, honey mustard, light mayonnaise, and pepper
- 2 white chocolate macadamia nut cookies
- 3 bites of a pesimmon
- 1/2 cup black cherry yogurt
- 2 lime smoothies
- 1 small slice pizza bread
- 2 Thai chicken strips
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, and sauce
- 1 cup yam fries with spicy mayonnaise
- 1 almond toffee candy

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Stuff

I don't have a lot to say after my earlier post. I am still sorting through stuff...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 2 toasted English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 2 almond cookies
- 1 gingerbread man with icing and candy decorations
- 1 piece of apple strudel with drizzled icing
- 2 sandwiches on onion buns with cheese slices, light mayonnaise, and margarine
- 1 whipped cream doughnut with powdered sugar
- 1 cup pretzels
- 2 caramel cookies
- 2 shortbread cookies with vanilla icing
- 1 coconut cookie with chocolate icing
- 1 shortbread cookie with lemon icing
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with cheese sauce
- 1 small scoop of rum and raisin ice cream, 1 small scoop of granny smith apple ice cream, and 1 small scoop of tiramisu ice cream on a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 shortbread cookie with jam

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Disturbed

It seems that everyone has a lot to say in regards to my journey nowadays. And because I have so few answers even for myself lately, I have not been replying to the majority of the comments. But I lost a follower today whom I liked and whom I respected.

What saddens me about this is that apparently my pathetic inability to get on track right now coupled with my phenomenal capacity to remain open and honest about what I am doing is apparently disturbing. I am doing the best that I can. But now I wonder if I am doing more harm to the weight loss community by posting than I would be if I just stopped all together.

I have a rather large follower base, for which I am extremely grateful. Yet now I have to ask if allowing others this look into my life is causing potential harm? I have had my disclaimer on the side of this blog for many, many months, but is it enough? Maybe I should call this quits so that I don't drag others down with me...

I'm sorry I can't be more for all of you right now.

Out Of The Ordinary

I am not a big drinker in the least, but tonight I treated myself to my very own bottle of ice wine! It was a lovely indulgence and I admit I am feeling very relaxed and content right now. After another game of backgammon with my wonderful husband I think it will be time to turn in. What a truly nice evening…

And I must note that I am flabbergasted about, flattered by, and forever indebted to the now more than 500 individuals who have decided that this online journal is worth following. Thank you all so much! You are an incredible bunch of people and I truly appreciate that you take the time to read my words and comment on my journey. You are fabulous!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3 small slices of cranberry whole wheat toast with margarine
- 1 1/2 cups candied popcorn
- 2 pieces of chocolate zucchini cake
- 4 sandwiches on onion buns with cheese slices, light mayonnaise, and margarine
- 1 large glass root beer
- 4 cheese slices
- 4 glasses of cola
- 4 small glasses of ice wine
- 35 small whole grain crackers with 2 1/2 light Laughing Cow cheese wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 1 orange cream chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 6 hours of cleaning and painting trim

Almost Positive

I had a lovely day with family today! Spending time with loved ones really is the best gift! I wish I could see more of the people I care about on a regular basis…

I am consciously easing up on being concerned about what I eat for the next couple of days. I just feel like I need a little mental break before I get more fully back into the swing of things. Part of me argues that I shouldn’t be doing this – that it is a shadow of the return of so many times in years past when I would binge on foods that I would then not allow myself when attempting yet another diet – but I think I am finally getting into a good enough place that I can tell that I am not just fooling myself like that. At least I hope so. This feels like I am being honest and simply need the break from focusing so much on what is going into my stomach. Being aware of every single bite for nearly sixteen months has earned me a moment of reprieve, I think.

I will keep recording everything and have no intention of going totally crazy. I just finally have a day or two to relax a tad and I would like to incorporate that into every aspect of my life. I hope this works…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 toasted English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 3 small pieces of a chocolate peanut butter bar
- 1 white bun with deli ham, a cheese slice, lettuce, and margarine
- 1 mug tea with cream
- 8 thin ginger cookies
- 1 sugared doughnut
- 1 glass cola
- 1 mug hot chocolate with whipped cream
- 1 glass of a piña colada smoothie
- 1 cup Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and croutons
- 6 ounce rare steak
- 1 1/2 cups yam fries with chipotle dipping sauce
- 1 slice pumpkin cheesecake with whipped cream and chocolate sauce
- 2 cups candied popcorn

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

A Necessary Distraction

I am so tired! I was all ready to head to bed over an hour ago because I have an early start in the morning, but – as usual – other things distracted me and now my eyes are scratchy! Ah well… at least I find the things I do interesting and worth investing in. If nothing else, I generally enjoy it when life distracts me so…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 2 glasses cola
- 3 slice cranberry whole wheat toast with margarine
- 5 homemade chocolate marshmallow treats
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with margarine, cinnamon, and sugar
- 1 extra large eggnog milkshake
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

Feeling Buggy

I am fighting a cold or the flu or some sort of bug. My body is achy all over right now and I am starting to feel cranky. I think it is time for bed…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 butter popcorn rice crackers
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry bar with icing
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 1 homemade oatmeal raisin cookie
- 1 glass of cola
- 3/4 cup pasta with white cheddar sauce
- 4 slices whole wheat cranberry toast with margarine
- 1 slice homemade fruitcake

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 20 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (25 minutes long and 55 minutes long)

Walk It Off

I am feeling really emotional. It just came on like a ton of bricks this evening and I have not handled it well. On the slightly better side, I did manage to get in some pretty good walking time today. It’s just too bad it won’t make up for the surplus of calories I consumed at the end of the night.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1 banana
- 1 strawberry bran muffin
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 5 chocolate filled tube wafer cookies
- 3 butter toffee rice cakes
-1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 12 cheese crackers with cheese
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 cup pasta with Parmesan and garlic cream sauce
- 5 honey garlic chicken wings
- 1 1/2 cups onion wings with honey mustard sauce
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 10 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (50 minutes long and 20 minutes long)