I had a lovely day with family today! Spending time with loved ones really is the best gift! I wish I could see more of the people I care about on a regular basis…
I am consciously easing up on being concerned about what I eat for the next couple of days. I just feel like I need a little mental break before I get more fully back into the swing of things. Part of me argues that I shouldn’t be doing this – that it is a shadow of the return of so many times in years past when I would binge on foods that I would then not allow myself when attempting yet another diet – but I think I am finally getting into a good enough place that I can tell that I am not just fooling myself like that. At least I hope so. This feels like I am being honest and simply need the break from focusing so much on what is going into my stomach. Being aware of every single bite for nearly sixteen months has earned me a moment of reprieve, I think.
I will keep recording everything and have no intention of going totally crazy. I just finally have a day or two to relax a tad and I would like to incorporate that into every aspect of my life. I hope this works…
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 toasted English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 3 small pieces of a chocolate peanut butter bar
- 1 white bun with deli ham, a cheese slice, lettuce, and margarine
- 1 mug tea with cream
- 8 thin ginger cookies
- 1 sugared doughnut
- 1 glass cola
- 1 mug hot chocolate with whipped cream
- 1 glass of a piña colada smoothie
- 1 cup Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and croutons
- 6 ounce rare steak
- 1 1/2 cups yam fries with chipotle dipping sauce
- 1 slice pumpkin cheesecake with whipped cream and chocolate sauce
- 2 cups candied popcorn
EXERCISE:
- 10 squats
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Well, it didn't work today!
ReplyDelete10 squats is NOT exercise, stop insulting your readers.
Looks like you've been "consciously easing up on being concerned" about what you eat since May 15th. You've given your permission to eat total crap for 6 months now. Are you just acknowledging the fact now? Would love to see the weigh in come January 1st when you think about maybe trying again. Bet you're not wearing any of those nice clothes you did last Christmas. Get your act together honey! Try to save yourself. We all know how difficult it is. We've been there or I know I have and would hate to see you undo everything you did up until May.
ReplyDeleteI found you again!!! I am so sorry, a while back, I thought I was "Managing" my blog information and accidently deleted your link. Then, not too up on the whole blog thing yet, I could not find you again. I was reading Dawne's blog and there you were. So excited to be back with you again!!!
ReplyDeleteKeep focused!
These rude comments are ridiculous!!!! And they must be embarrassed to write such mean things seeing that they are anonymous!
ReplyDeleteI've never commented on your site before, but I just want to say you have many people rooting for you and that believe in you! God bless.
You do have many people rooting for you, yes. But you've heard all of that before.
ReplyDeleteEasing up on your food intake? I'm sorry, but this is not news. I'd actually say today's food was *slightly* better than most recent days. You at least had a salad and some real protein instead of a day full of simple, sugar carbs.
I know one of these days you will wake up and you will be able to find the balance that suits you. Food/diet does not have to be an all or nothing thing. You deprived yourself of your favorite treats for so long that once you decided it was ok to have one or two, you lost all control and now it seems you can't stop.
You will eventually realize what you are doing and you will find your way back and you will recognize that a healthy eating plan can still leave room for the occasional treat and in doing so, you will be able to keep them in control.
I've said it before ~ but I highly highly recommend the book "Intuitive Eating". It has literally saved my life.
I started writing a comment about how I think that this is not a great idea for you, but stopped because you've heard it before. But then I ran across this post: http://chrislivessimple.blogspot.com/2010/12/winning-diet-struggle.html
ReplyDeleteI have no idea if you're looking at these comments or other weight loss blogs at this point, but Chris's point of finding out what it is that's eating YOU is a necessity at this point. You've lost your way on this journey, and giving yourself a few days of not thinking about what you're eating isn't going to help. I think you just don't want to feel guilty about it. You don't have to - this is your journey - but it's not going to help any of the issues that are causing this either. Something is wrong and you need to find what it is. It's not just the food - it's something else too. The eating is just a symptom, and ignoring it doesn't make ANY of it go away.
Enjoy your relaxing days. I hope you get the rest you need and deserve!
ReplyDeletePart 1.
ReplyDeleteHi. I'm sorry about the comments that criticize you without at least being constructive. I imagine those aren't comforting to read. I haven't been here long, so I don't know much about your dieting habits or how they've changed over time, but it seems to me that there are certainly some changes and that not being aware and conscious about what you eat (and how you exercise) is probably not the best of ideas. Not staying aware and putting conscious effort into our food choices is part of what leads to obesity and bad health in the first place, and you've done SO MUCH work to get away from all of that. Don't let yourself mindlessly eat again; you can have snacks and foods that you like, of course, but please don't let yourself turn off your mental monitor and eat whatever you like without considering the consequences to your body, health, and even mental state.
And please don't think that being skinny is all that matters. You might not care as much about what you weigh if you see that you're skinny, but there are still lots of foods that you DON'T want to put in your body regardless of what you weigh. Also, please keep in mind that certain foods are doing nothing but making your body crave more, desire more, and seek more food because it isn't getting the nutrition that it needs from the calories you're feeding it. And this is NOT a fault of yours; this is a fault of the food that you're eating. Just please, please, please stay mindful about your diet and lifestyle--not for your readers, your critics (who insult but don't offer positive encouragement), or any strangers you might want to appear attractive/healthy to; do it for yourself and your health.
Part 2.
ReplyDeleteAnd I admit that it can be difficult. I recently did a complete overhaul of my diet, and it was NOT easy. Even now, when thoughts about dieting, losing weight, and becoming more healthy (physically, mentally, and emotionally) are constantly in my mind, I slip sometimes. I allow myself certain "snacks" because I don't want to deprive myself entirely, but even those snacks (store-bought snacks) are things that I really should get away from eventually. At the very least, I could start making my own, more healthy snacks which, in and of themselves, are not terrible snacks (if prepared properly without a bunch of unhealthy junk added to them). But the point is to find foods that you can enjoy that are both tasty AND healthy and aren't making your body crave endlessly.
All of that said, I have only lost about 36 pounds so far and have a long way to go (both in losing weight and practicing better habits). Perhaps I'll fall into unhealthy patterns at times too. I'm not chastising or judging you. Having a healthy diet is difficult, ESPECIALLY when we live in a society that oversaturates us with ads for unhealthy foods, aisles of unhealthy foods in grocery stories, conversations about unhealthy foods, etc. It's all over the place, and it can be hard to get away from. But please--the LAST thing you want to do is let yourself eat whatever without questioning it, because if you eat foods that cause cravings and don't give your body the adequate nutrition that it needs, it WILL cause you to keep eating, and, once again, that's because of a flaw in the foods that you're eating...not a flaw in you. So please do stay aware! (There are many, may reasons to be mindful about what you eat.)
Anyway, whatever choices you make and whatever path you take, good luck to you. I wish you the best. I really do.
(Oh, and just a book recommendation: if you haven't already, I would suggest reading In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan, which I just finished reading yesterday. It's a very informative book that also happens to be entertaining and touching. Heck, even the thanks and acknowledgments at the end of the book were enjoyable to read! I don't suggest reading it and letting absolutely everything seep into your thoughts and dictate your daily choices, but it is a good read to make you aware of a few things and to get you questioning and forming your own conclusions when it comes to your dietary habits--amongst others--on your own.)
Part 2.
ReplyDeleteAnd I admit that it can be difficult. I recently did a complete overhaul of my diet, and it was NOT easy. Even now, when thoughts about dieting, losing weight, and becoming more healthy (physically, mentally, and emotionally) are constantly in my mind, I slip sometimes. I allow myself certain "snacks" because I don't want to deprive myself entirely, but even those snacks (overly processed snacks) are things that I really should get away from eventually. At the very least, I could start making my own, more healthy snacks which, in and of themselves, are not terrible snacks. But the point is to find foods that you can enjoy that are both tasty AND healthy and aren't making your body crave endlessly.
I'm not chastising you or judging you. Having a healthy diet is difficult, ESPECIALLY when we live in a society that oversaturates us with ads for unhealthy foods, aisles of unhealthy foods in grocery stories, conversations about unhealthy foods, etc. It's all over the place, and it can be hard to get away from. But please--the LAST thing you want to do is let yourself eat whatever without questioning it, because if you eat foods that cause cravings and don't give your body the adequate nutrition that it needs, it WILL cause you to keep eating, and, once again, that's because of a flaw in the foods that you're eating...not a flaw in you. So please do stay aware!
Anyway, whatever choices you make and whatever path you take, good luck to you. I wish you the best. I really do.
(Oh, and just a book recommendation: if you haven't already, I would suggest reading In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan, which I just finished reading yesterday. It's a very informative book that also happens to be entertaining and touching. Heck, even the thanks and acknowledgments at the end of the book were enjoyable to read! I don't suggest reading it and letting absolutely everything seep into your thoughts and dictate your daily choices, but it is a good read to make you aware of a few things and to get you questioning and forming your own conclusions when it comes to your dietary habits--amongst others--on your own.)
Whoops, sorry about the double post. I'm new to commenting on other sites, and it told me my comment was too large, so I took out some things. And theeeen, it was there, haha. You can delete that if you have that ability. d:
ReplyDeleteokay...here goes.
ReplyDeleteI am holding my nose while doing this. I don't like doing this at all. You are a smart smart woman. You know yourself. You know that your eating has been off for months now. acknowledging it is good.
*chris freezes.
still sitting here.
You know what I want to say.
You know what is going on.
hugs.
Hope you find your mojo soon.
okay I'm back.
ReplyDeleteokay.
you know, we started at around the same time.
and there were times when I would get a tad jealous cause you beat me to the finish line.
You were so on fire then. I don't know what happened because you don't share much in the way of personal experiences...unlike me, who is a virtual trash dump. But I really honestly and to my core feel like this is a bad idea for one reason only. It's because you are doing it while you are strg uggling. If you had popped up with this idea when you were flying high I could see it. But I feel like you are cashing in your chips to some extent.I could be wrong...but I would hate to come back here week after week and see no updates.
I also don't want you to feel hounded into hiding.
That would be awful.
So don't hide. You should disallow anonymous comments. jmo.
And like I said above, I do hope you find your mojo and are back pounding the scale to oblivion soon.
Still here girl...and still rooting for you...always. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't like anonymous posts, and I don't like the tone of the first two comments, but ... I agree with the content. No one is perfect, especially those of us in this forum, but it is difficult to read your posts and not feel concerned for you. It is not just a matter of weight ... the amount of sugar in your diet is scary. I hope you find your way back to healthy living, whatever is going on in your life. We are rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteCathy
I have no idea what it means when you say "ease up." I thought "ease up" is the mode you've been in for months now. I mean, really, you're gonna ease up more? Wow. That's scary. All of us who have both rooted and worried over you are probably freaking at the thought of what "easing up" will look like if the days and weeks and months of eating ice cream/cake/sweets has NOT been "ease up" mode. Pretty much the only place to go is eating whole cakes and whole vats of ice cream!
ReplyDeleteOkay, sarcasm off.
Don't ease up. Bad idea. You may not fully realize how addicted you are to sugary/carby stuff, but you are. If you've read THE END OF OVEREATING, it's like you are one of those case study rats that will jump over walls to get to that sweet treat and then go to town until it becomes huge. You are just ingesting sugary thing after sugary thing and even if it's not a weight issue, it's a health one. No one benefits, no one, skinny or normal weight or fat, from ingesting cake/ice cream in continuing mass quantitites. Please, please, reconsider.