Saturday, July 31, 2010

Pressure Cooker

I am feeling good about the decision I made to temporarily stop my attempts to lose more weight. I think that maintaining for a while was a wise move and I feel a little like a weight – which has nothing to do with pounds – has been lifted off of me these past few weeks. It has got me thinking about how I am often guilty of putting undo stress on myself. Personally, I think that more than any other factor it is simply me that I feel pressure from. What about you?

I MOSTLY FEEL PRESSURE FROM:

Friday, July 30, 2010

Loosey-Goosey

I Said So... recently sent me an interesting question and I thought that I would share my answer here since it concerns an issue that I believe a number of people probably think about. She asked me if my significant weight loss has resulted in loose skin. My (perhaps too detailed) response to this query was as follows:

“I would say that the answer to the question is sort of half good. For me (and, of course, keep in mind that everyone is different so there is no way to tell what things will be like from one individual to the next), if I were to lift up my shirt and show you my stomach, it would look pretty much 100% normal. I really don't think that anyone would be able to tell that I ever lost such a huge amount of weight from that simple test.

However, if I were then to bend over and let gravity take over, there is some loose skin that suddenly appears, bunched up and hanging down from my midsection. Also, if I were to remove my undergarments, you would see that there is a small section at the very, very bottom of my torso - right above my pelvic area - where there is some wrinkling (for lack of a better word) due to the loose skin. Likewise, I see a slightly deflated look on my breasts (mind you, I was an H40 before).

As for the rest of my body, I am actually very surprised that things are as tight as they are. For a while I noticed quite a bit of bunching at the tops of my knees, where the thigh skin was being pulled down to (again, by that darned gravity), but that has tightened up a lot in the last few months and I am finally comfortable (for the first time since high school) with wearing shorts instead of capri's. My upper arms will probably always have a little extra hang, but they too are much, much smaller than I initially thought they would get. Plus, those hangy bits are only slightly noticeable when I lift my arms; they can't really be seen from the front, sides, or back when I am just letting my arms rest (which is really nice for photographs).

But, here's the thing that is really important... All of those bits of skin that do hang off of me - ever inch of extra which still remains - is a battle scar that I am really proud of. I don't care that I am never going to have a perfect body (I know that those don't exist anyhow); what I do care about is that every time I see a smidgen of loose skin I remember how hard I fought and how far I have come. I feel a sense of honour when I look at my body now, because - really - when you consider the alternative, I know that I am vastly better of now than I ever was before.

Smooth skin? Sure it might look nice, but to me it's what I had when I was obese. I'm okay with not being stretched to the max anymore. I earned my loose skin and, in a strange way, I really love it!”

Thursday, July 29, 2010

And We're Off!

We are leaving first thing in the morning to go to our friends’ weekend getaway wedding. I am so excited! I can’t wait to see two people whom I am so close to (I was actually the one who introduced them) commit to spending the rest of their lives with one another. I am honoured that I was asked to be a bridesmaid and I know that my husband is thrilled that he gets to be an usher too. It’s going to be so great!

Of course, this means that I am taking a break from being online every day. But have no fear! I have written several entries and scheduled them to post daily in my absence. Hopefully there are no issues with this while I am away, but if there are at least everyone knows I am not off binging like a madwoman in a corner due to a mental breakdown. Although, I must admit, I know for a fact that rehearsal dinner pizza and wedding cake are sure to be a factor this weekend!

At any rate, my normal food and exercise lists will have to wait to be posted until I return, though I am still planning on trying to keep track of everything as per normal. Likewise, I don’t think that I will be able to do the usual weigh-in on Saturday morning. I do, however, believe that I will probably have access to a scale where we are staying Thursday night, so I will try to get that measurement a day early on Friday morning and record it on here when I get back.

I hope everyone has a lovely end of July! I will be back in a few days!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 1/4 cup blackberries
- 1 large golden delicious apple
- 2 cups spinach salad with cubed cheese, croutons, dried cranberries, mushrooms, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing
- 2 no fat berry freezies
- 1 piece of multi-grain toast with light peanut butter
- 1 cheeseburger on a whole wheat bun with tomato, sautéed onion, mayonnaise, relish, and mustard
- 1 cup potato salad
- 1/2 cup carrot sticks with homemade dill dip

EXERCISE:
- 5 minutes of arm exercises with 2.5 lb. weights for each arm

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

What Goes Up, Must Come Down

It’s been a very busy day and tomorrow just promises more of the same! Yikes! Apparently I am right at the pinnacle of the last couple of months of my crazy, hectic schedule! I feel like I am right at the very top of a roller coaster that had a long, steep climb to its peak, and that any second the floor will seemingly drop out from under me and I’ll finally be able to experience a blast of excitement as everything I have been anticipating comes rushing at me! I just hope the ride has been worth it… I really will be so glad when I have a chance to relax, but I am – perhaps unbelievably – actually enjoying myself for the most part. I love being productive!

So my mood is definitely up and I think I did pretty well with the food today. I turned down ice cream twice! (Gasp!) I still had a sweet tooth going, but I fed it a lot of fruit and that seemed to help. I squeezed in a really short walk, but that was all the exercise I managed since I was too busy to even go to dragon boating this evening. I wish it wasn’t the case, but I don’t have very high hopes for getting in a lot of activity over the last few days of this craziness. I will be on the go a lot though, so maybe that will burn all the calories I usually would with more regimented routines. One can only hope!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 1 cup blueberries
- 1 sandwich on a Portuguese bun with deli ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and Dijon mustard
- 1/2 cup fat free apple-cranberry yogurt with 1 cup Vector cereal
- 2 large golden delicious apples with cinnamon
- 1 no fat apple freezie
- 4 blackberries
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 no fat strawberry freezie
- 2 cups spinach salad with cubed cheese, croutons, dried cranberries, mushrooms, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Freezing It All Out

It was a hard day emotionally today. I ate a lot of popsicles. As in, I had six. The sugar content isn’t great, but at least the calorie count was not too bad. They come in at 50 per bar, so a total of 300 extra calories in my day when I am feeling this low is nothing compared to the damage I would have done in the past. I’m not saying that I am proud of turning to sweets to cope with my day – not by a long shot – but I was conscious of what was going on and managed to curtail any major damage. I guess that’s something…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry-pomegranate and raspberry-pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal
- 3 no fat cherry popsicles
- 1 no fat orange popsicle
- 1 1/2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 6 whole wheat crackers
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 cup steamed potatoes with margarine
- 1 cup minced ground beef with onions
- 2 no fat grape popsicles

EXERCISE:
- 35 minute walk
- 12 minutes of arm exercises with 2.5 lb. weights for each arm

Monday, July 26, 2010

So Bad, But So Good

It was a day of indulgences. Let’s just get that said right off the bat. However, it was not necessarily for a lack of trying to make healthier choices.

I started out alright, but was quickly waylaid in my efforts to avoid temptation when a shopping trip with one of my best friends meant a stop at a coffee house for cold drinks before we hit the stores. I still put in some effort though since I didn’t order the lemon loaf that I wanted to accompany my frosty beverage. Later on, I also made up my mind to have a salad for my late lunch instead of the 12-inch sub I was contemplating.

Then it really went downhill. However, again, it wasn’t because I threw in the towel. Since I was helping my friends get a number of things organized for their upcoming wedding, they very kindly offered to pick up another round from a coffee shop and so I asked for the same thing I had ordered earlier in the day – but I forgot to mention that I get them without whipped cream. And then when one of them was out picking up the drinks, they decided to grab dinner for all of us from McDonald’s! It was such a nice gesture, but it meant that I had to cancel the more sensible sushi that my husband was about to bring over for me to eat.

The really interesting part about that sudden switch is the way that my mind found immediate comfort in the fact that my choice of food had been made by someone else and that – oh, darn – I was being ‘forced’ to consume whipped cream, a burger and fries, and even dessert. Well, I couldn’t be rude, right?!

It was pretty fascinating to get that little glimpse into my own psyche. I was so happy to have an excuse to eat much less healthy options without the guilt of having made the decision myself. I guess there’s nothing wrong with that type of reaction… I just thought it was noteworthy.

But, then, the ice cream blend was all me!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 glass strawberry crème blend made with skim milk
- 4 cups salad with deli ham, grated cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, black olives, and honey mustard dressing
- 1 glass strawberry crème blend made with skim milk and topped with whipped cream
- 1 1/4 cups French fries with salt
- 1 cheeseburger with onion, ketchup, and mustard
- 1 piece of a blueberry crumble
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sunday, July 25, 2010

A Detailed Description

I’m so glad I have a good memory when it comes to these types of details. I was out all day long without any way to write down what I was consuming and there were a lot of different things to sample too. I’m pretty confident that I remembered everything though. After nearly a year of recording every bite that has gone into my mouth, I guess I’ve developed a good mind for such fine points.

It has been a really long day though – but, one filled with a lot of fun – so I think that crawling into bed is what is in order now. Plus, tomorrow is far too close for comfort considering all that needs to be done. So… to sleep!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 cup pineapple
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry-pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal
- 1 glass sangria
- 2 cups sourdough bread with spinach dip
- 10 poppy seed crackers
- 3 glasses white wine
- 1 sandwich on a whole wheat Kaiser bun with ham, tomato, alfalfa sprouts, and mayonnaise
- 10 sea salt and malt vinegar chips
- 1 cup strawberries dipped in melted Toblerone bar
- 10 marshmallows dipped in melted Toblerone bar
- 1 cup pineapple dipped in melted Toblerone bar
- 2 glasses pomegranate mojitos
- 2 small pieces of flat bread basil, shrimp, and cheese pizza with spicy sauce
- 1 cup yam fries with lemon mayonnaise
- 1/2 cup calamari with seafood sauce
- 1/3 of a glass of a blueberry coconut cocktail
- 1 sip of a berry cocktail
- 5 bites of banana pudding cake
- 4 bites of peach strawberry ice cream
- 4 bites of basil vanilla ice cream
- 5 blueberries

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 50

I am down about a pound and a half from last week. I told my husband that I am having a ‘skinny’ day!

I am actually feeling really good… I even have on what I have dubbed my pair of anomaly shorts, which are labeled inexplicably as a size 6. I generally wear 8’s and 10’s, but at my very lowest weight on this journey I tried these on and they fit. This is the first time I have felt confident enough to wear them! I know a generously marked label doesn’t actually change how big or small I am, but it was still nice to see that little tag just before I slipped the shorts on!

I Love A Challenge

Today was great! I got a number of things accomplished, squeezed in a nice visit with one of my best friends, and convinced myself that buying the unusually-me pair of heels that I saw last week and couldn’t stop wanting was a good idea. I avoided a serious ice cream craving by choosing a low calorie, no fat popsicle option. I even went for a run with my husband and managed to go none stop for a half an hour! I haven’t done a non-interval jog for about two months, so I was particularly pleased with that. It was just an all around good day!

Then there’s this week, which is going to be crazy and challenging. Tomorrow I have a bachelorette party that will be taking place at a few different venues throughout the day and then I will be spending Sunday helping the bride-to-be tackle a bunch of last minute details for her upcoming marriage. Thursday is a travel day, Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday’s the wedding, and then next Sunday is the gift opening and another travel day. So between all of the opportunities for eating poorly which I have no doubt will occur on all of those days, combined with the excessive busyness which will probably keep me from most decent exercise, I am thinking that my previous use of the word ‘challenging’ may actually be an underestimate. At least this is a happy hectic!

By the way, there is another book giveaway at the publishing company where I write my online column. Just in case you like free stuff!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 cup cherries
- 3/4 cup fat free raspberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 cups celery with light peanut butter
- 1 fat free cherry popsicle
- 1 fat free orange popsicle

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of jogging with a 5 minute walking warm up and a 5 minute walking cool down

Friday, July 23, 2010

Who's That Girl?

I loved this. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but it made me smile…

About a month ago I gave a photograph of myself, from when I was all dressed up for my brother’s graduation, to my husband to keep at his work. He had a picture of me from years ago, but I thought that he would enjoy an updated one given that I have gone through so many physical changes over the last eleven months.

Well, yesterday he came home and shared something really amusing with me. A couple of his male co-workers were passing by and they stopped to chat with him. When they were standing there, one of them noticed the new photo and asked my man who it was. He replied, “that’s my wife!”

The guy who had first noticed the picture seemed impressed and said, “she’s really pretty.” (At this point in my husband's telling of the story I am already feeling great, but the next part is what really made my day.) The other person who was standing there – now staring at the image of me – apparently gives a wide-eyed, vigorous nod and enthusiastically drawls, “yeeeeaaaahhhh…”

Awesome! My poor husband is so unused to the types of comments he has been receiving about me of late. This isn’t the first time his co-workers have complimented my appearance recently and apparently one of them went on quite a bit about me a couple of months ago. I admit that it is really flattering. I think the seeming bizarreness of it makes it a novelty to me; I’ve just never been all that concerned about appearances and suddenly all of these positive remarks are coming from all directions.

My wonderful hubby is so great about it too. I think he enjoys telling me about these instances and reveling in the apparent perception that he has an attractive spouse as much as I get a kick out of hearing the stories!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup oat cluster Cheerios
- 1 1/3 cups cherries
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 10 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 2 cups yam fries with fat free Miracle Whip
- 1 cup reduced sodium pasta with sour cream and chive sauce and tuna
- 1 bite raspberry cheesecake
- 2 1/2 cups celery with light peanut butter

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk
- 50 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Finally Getting A Little Support

Here's something that I wasn't expecting: I can wear underwire bras again!

For years, I have opted for the comfort I found in sports bras because the underwire ones always dug into me and left me with red half-moon, friction-like marks under my chest. Lovely imagery, I apologize, but knowing such details makes it easy to see why I would choose to resort to the less attractive, but infinitely more appealing and pain-free brassieres. I would generally only utilize their stiffer counterparts when I needed smaller straps or a specific fit to enhance whatever shirt I might have been wearing. And I used to dread putting them on because I knew how much it would end up hurting me after only a short time.

But now, suddenly, I find that I can make use of the better supporting undergarments! There is no chafing! I can wear them all the time now and suffer no repercussions! Apparently the shrinking bust line that goes hand in hand with losing weight has a silver lining. My husband may slightly disagree, but now I can make it up to him by putting away the tired old sports bras and modelling pretty, stylish ones instead!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cup cherries
- 1 chocolate delite fiber bar
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 3 pieces sourdough garlic bread
- 3 hot dogs with mustard
- 3/4 cup fat free apple and cranberry yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 30 stomach crunches

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Not much To Say

It was a pretty on track day. I am still having trouble staying away from those ice cream type drinks, but other than that I think it went well today. I am exhausted right now and very ready for bed, but I am supposed to be getting up in less than two hours. We’ll have to see if my sense of responsibility or the snooze function on my alarm clock wins that upcoming battle…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 1/2 cups fat free peach yogurt with 2 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 banana
- 2 sandwiches on whole grain bread with deli ham, cheese, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 glass caramel crème blended drink
- 2 sloppy Joes on hamburger buns with margarine and grated cheese
- 1 cup cherries

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour of rowing a dragon boat

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Now It's Personal

An acquaintance of mine sent me an email yesterday asking for weight loss advice. I messaged them back, of course, but after rereading what I had written decided that I wanted to share my response here because I imagine many people who read my posts are searching for similar answers. I did not ask them for permission to share their specific question because none of my family or friends – save for my husband – know about this blog, so I am only going to post what I wrote. My hope is for you all to read this like it is a personal letter to you, because the sentiment and advice contained within these few paragraphs were composed with each and every one of you in the back of my mind...

“…My best advice is to find what works for you. Don't give up! Just because you have tried 1000 things doesn't mean that the 1001st option won't work. If I can do this, anyone can!

Try to incorporate changes into your life that are sustainable. Don't start out trying to run a marathon and eating nothing but whole grains and vegetables if that’s not a natural transition. I began mostly with just walking and recording what I ate with some effort going towards changing my diet. I worked bigger changes in as I got used to each new level of alteration and now I am at a point where my lifestyle and my physical self are virtually unrecognizable from what they were before. But, it is still all sustainable. Everything that I do now, I can do for the long term.

When you are ready though, you will likely be surprised by how quickly you are willing to make the changes that add up. Personally I found that challenging myself in different ways and with new exercises was particularly exciting. I quickly developed a drive to push myself further and that has served me well in the long run. Now I can jog a 5K without keeling over after the first ten steps, I row a couple of times a week with a dragon boating team, and I have a number of significant activity milestones that I have achieved over the past eleven months. It’s all about taking whatever steps you are able to and just climbing from there.

As far as the eating goes, I generally lean towards whole ingredients. I used to be queen of the microwavable, pre-packaged, high fat and sugar content, fast food junk. Now, I try to consume lots of fruits and vegetables and plain water, of course, but my focus is simply on having items that are less processed and which I usually prepare at home. I eat lots of wraps, salads, yogurts with cereal, etc. When you are shopping, pick up things that are on the outside of the supermarket interior and don’t go into the aisles. The outer walls are where you will find the deli, bakery, and dairy and produce sections – whole ingredients make a big difference. There will always be habits that are hard to break so be prepared for setbacks; for me I am still working my way through a bit of a slump that has seen me return to a few of my less healthy snacking options. I am working at it though and that in itself is an accomplishment. Perfection is boring anyhow.

As far as the mental part of this journey goes, remember to not make things off limits. If you really want cheesecake, have a few forkfuls (though try to remember that none of it tastes as good as the first and the last bite, so try to cut out as much of the middle as you can). Depriving yourself will just make you feel like you are on a diet and would be completely counter intuitive to ensuring that any changes you make are truly sustainable.

Try to find your motivation too. Everyone’s is different, but being able to clearly articulate why you want to lose weight goes a long way towards staying determined when you are struggling.

And if you go off your plan don’t throw in the towel – not forever and not even for the day. If you suddenly realize that you are sitting amid a large pile of candy wrappers and discarded fast food containers (and, yes, I have been there many times before) there is no reason to give up and just order pizza at that point because you will ‘start again tomorrow’. Why? Because, again, if it is something you are going to be doing for the long term there is no starting again – you will never stop – and making one or eighty imperfect decisions won’t change that you are still working at this. Every moment you can make a choice. Every choice can be a good one. And regardless of whether the last one was a good one or not, the next one you make is another chance…

Crumple the left over cookies into the garbage if you have to; run the icing beaters under water to avoid temptation; go out and walk or dance or garden to keep your mind and body busy. Figure out your own tips and tricks and use them. Journal. Keep track of your measurements and goals so that you can see what you have accomplished and where you need work. Find at least one person who you can talk to about every tiny aspect of this journey and share everything you are doing with them.

What it boils down to is that you can do this! You. Can. Do. This. That’s really all that you need…”

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 small glass lemonade
- 1 homemade chocolate chip cookie
- 1 small garden strawberry
- 2 cups fettuccine with shrimp, garlic cream sauce, Parmesan cheese, and pepper
- 1 slice stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza with ranch dip
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 2 sloppy Joes on hamburger buns with margarine and grated cheese
- 1 sweet and salty almond granola bar
- 1 orange no fat popsicle
- 1 grape no fat popsicle

EXERCISE:
- 30 stomach crunches

Monday, July 19, 2010

Quick And To The Point

Another short post, but a post nevertheless... I am still here even if my entries may get shorter and shorter over the next two weeks as my hectic schedule is reaching its climax.

The day was filled with fun, but far too many rich eats. Like yesterday, I didn't necessarily eat excessively, but I indulged in the foods I wanted to. This afternoon when I was out with a friend, and again this evening when I was at a birthday party, those foods happened to be very sugary. Not my best example of healthy living by a long short, but at least I am recognizing it. Moving on...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 doughnut with raspberry filling and vanilla icing
- 1 scoop sour apple ice cream and 1 scoop mint and cookie ice cream on a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 apricot chai truffle
- 1 citrus white chocolate truffle
- 3 slices white bread with margarine
- 3 cups fettuccine with shrimp, garlic cream sauce, Parmesan cheese, and pepper
- 1 slice ice cream cake
- 1 cherry no fat popsicle
- 1 grape no fat popsicle
- 1 chocolate chip cookie

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Trying Not To Go Overboard

The dragon boating regatta today was amazing! We came in second place overall and I was awarded my very first sports medal ever!!! Woo hoo! I was so excited to receive it!!! We really worked hard as a team and I am so proud to be a part of such an amazing and fun group of people!

We also won the challenge component that they held after the competition races were over. We essentially had to paddle in a tight figure eight in the shortest time, and we ended up beating second place by eighteen whole seconds! Our coach briefed us on a really good strategy right before we went out and that, and our teamwork, really paid off. By finishing first for the challenge race we won free entrance into next year's competition! And it was a huge amount of fun!!!

Actually the entire day was fun! We even went over to our manager's apartment after and had a barbecue to celebrate. There was a lot of food there and fairly limited healthy choices. I started out navigating things in a limiting manner and stuck with that fairly well. I sampled lots of different stuff, but I didn't actually overeat. The calorie intake was probably higher than normal because of the types of foods I ate, but I feel like I did pretty well considering.

It was an awesome day with lots of exercise, camaraderie, and an extremely festive atmosphere! I can't wait for next time!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 scrambled eggs with salt and pepper
- 1 heated blueberry muffin with margarine
- 1 homemade blueberry scone
- 1 banana
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 1 sandwich on white bread containing whole grains with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 glass aloe vera drink
- 5 pita chips with homemade hummus
- 5 strawberries
- 20 tortilla chip rounds with spinach dip
- 1 glass sangria with fruit
- 1 tiny glass of port
- 1/2 cup steak
- 1 Bavarian smokie
- 1 cup macaroni salad
- 2 chicken wings with sweet chili sauce
- 2 slices white bread
- 4 bites caramel chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 1/2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 slice stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza with ranch dip

EXERCISE:
- 6 hours at a dragon boating regatta (approximately 30 minutes on the water)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 49

Apparently I am really good at this maintaining thing when I set my mind to it… I weigh exactly the same as I did last week! Now I am off to my regatta. Wish me luck!

Whoops!

I’m up too late! I have my dragon boating regatta in the morning so this post will have to just basically be a posting of my food…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 slices toast with white bread containing whole grains, light peanut butter, and light strawberry jam
- 1 homemade blueberry scone with margarine
- 4 cups salad with deli ham, grated cheese, lettuce, tomato, black olives, green pepper, onion, and honey mustard dressing
- 1 orange no fat popsicle
- 1 cherry no fat popsicle
- 2 slices stuffed crust Hawaiian pizza with roasted garlic dip
- 1 grape no fat popsicle
- 2 Mandarin oranges

EXERCISE:
- 15 squats

Friday, July 16, 2010

Staying Afloat

Well, first of all, I woke up in a much better state of mind than I was in last night! Sometimes so many things go wrong - one right after the other - that it’s hard not to plunge headfirst into a bad mood. Once I awoke this morning though, after a relaxing bath before bed and a good night’s sleep had taken place, I felt totally refreshed. In my experience, allowing the occasional brief wallow in self-pity doesn’t have to be a bad thing; positivity can bounce back quickly from most setbacks if you allow it.

Something that is a bit different from my normal routine is that I had an extra dragon boating practice tonight. A number of people from different teams (but out of the same dragon boating club) came out this evening as we are all going to be competing together in a women’s only regatta at the start of August. I am so excited about this!

I think that the dynamics of this group will offer a different experience from what I have become accustomed to with my own team, and I really love the idea of paddling with all females for a change. I believe that it will be a really great time and I was so happy to get out on the water for practice. We have another round next Thursday which I will attend and then I have to miss the one the following week. I am still up in the air about the final training session before race day because it is scheduled for the downtime I finally promised myself. I’m sort of torn between sticking with the commitment I made to myself and wanting to go out and enjoy the camaraderie of a fun group of women in preparation of something I really enjoy. I will probably wait until the last minute to decide…

At any rate, I am definitely looking forward to racing with the ladies! I also have a different regatta coming up this Saturday with my normal team that should be a lot of fun. I just love this sport, and I am so glad that I decided to try dragon boating!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 2 egg wrap on a soft tortilla shell with grated cheese, spinach, and pepper
- 1 nectarine
- 1/3 cup cheesy snack crackers
- 2 oats ‘n’ honey granola bars
- 1 cup maple almond granola cereal
- 1 1/3 cups raspberries
- 10 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 1 cheeseburger with onion, ketchup, and mustard
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 55 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Feeling Like Shhh...

This evening was not good. After having an on-and-off argument with my husband for the past couple of hours, running out of time to get stuff done that I didn’t have time to do in the first place, realizing half way through a McDonald’s flurry that I was blatantly self-medicating, and just receiving an email informing me that I messed something up by trying to help in a way which I apparently mistakenly thought had already been okayed, I am just done for the night.

I’m going to go crawl into a warm bath and try to ignore the world now.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 large pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 4 cups reduced fat white chocolate pudding and raspberries
- 2 cups pasta with meat sauce and grated cheese
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 mug coconut steamed soy milk

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It Pays To Be Versatile

I have been nominated for a new award! A big thanks to I Said So… from For Real, This Time! for giving me the Versatile Blogger Award! I love these great badges and always find that they encourage and highlight the supportive foundation upon which this weight loss, health, and fitness community has been built.

As with all such accolades, this one has its own set of guidelines to follow:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Nominate fifteen newly discovered blogs.
4. Let your nominees know about the award.

Hmmm… seven things about myself - which, I am sure, should be new and unknown information to my readers. Let’s try these eatery eccentricities, shall we…

1. I mix my peanut butter and jam in a bowl before spreading it on toast as I think it tastes better than when they are spread separately.
2. I peel Mandarin oranges in one long spiraling strip.
3. I eat things in a symmetrical manner and always save a bite of what I like the most for the end.
4. I take my tea exactly as my grandmother taught me to when I was a child.
5. I tasted a fig for the first time in my life yesterday; I thought I had tried them before but I think I was somehow mixing them up with kiwis.
6. I secretly still love fake, processed cheese more than the real stuff.
7. I have always and will always choose white sauce and wine over red, but red meat over white.

Now, as for who I shall pass this fun badge onto, I must admit that because of my hectic schedule I have been more than a little lax about discovering different websites lately. So, as a compromise to following the rules while still trying to promote new blogs, I have taken a look at my followers list and am posting the names of those who have joined most recently and for whom I could find links to their blogs. I think there is a good chance that many of these people are just starting out on this journey themselves, and even if they have been at it a while I figure that everyone can get a kick out of being presented with a pretty award!

1. Glenys from Sacrificial Homekeeper
2. Liana from The Greatest Challenge
3. Losing 100 Pounds from Losing 100 Pounds
4. Bunpoh from The Angry Inch
5. Deb from Deb Will Be Free!
6. Dee from Kajun Gumbo
7. Dee from Losing It Again For Good
8. Ana from Vegan Ana
9. Heather from Tightening The Corset… Again
10. Deb from Green Thoughts
11. lv2scpbk from Everyday Life’s Issues
12. Anna from Lily Hue
13. Lily from Lily Fluffbottom
14. Anna from Operation Size 8
15. Sarah from Fat Little Legs

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 1/4 cups corn bran square cereal
- 2 slices toast with white bread containing whole grains, light peanut butter, and light strawberry jam
- 1 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and chocolate chips
- 1 heated bran muffin with margarine
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 1 large glass root beer
- 12 inch toasted sub on an Italian herb and cheese bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, black olives, light mayonnaise, honey mustard dressing, and pepper
- 1 white chocolate chip macadamia cookie
- 2 cups peanut butter cup and chocolate candy bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 5 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Surprise!

When I had my hair done on Friday, it was one of my best friends who cut, coloured, and styled my locks. And something that she did for me was the perfect bonus to an already significant experience. Since she is a professional hairdresser, she has all of the tools of the trade in her home, including a salon chair and folding mirror. Well, once I was sitting in the chair, but before she began working on my transformation, she told me that she wanted to cover the mirror so that I would get a big reveal when everything was done. I loved the idea!

And that’s exactly what happened. I didn’t get to see anything that was going on as she worked on my tresses. She cut, foiled, and washed my hair all without me seeing what it looked like. When she started to use the blow dryer I even closed my eyes to avoid seeing the final colour in case strands were to wisp across my face.

When the moment came for me to see the new me, I was more than ready. She pulled back the mirrors from their folded position and my jaw dropped! Was that me?! I couldn’t believe it! Gone was the simply do I had donned for two decades and in its place was a gorgeous mane of stylish, blonde locks. I loved it! I absolutely loved it!

The thing that I have realized over the last couple of days is that the astonishment I felt at seeing myself suddenly transformed like that is just the most recent surprise in a very long, ever-growing list. I have had more unexpected, pleasant experiences that I ever could have dreamed of because I decided to undertake this journey.

I have discovered bones which were too long hidden beneath layers of fat. I found that there is joy to be had from running. I can wrap the bath towel all the way around me. I easily outlast the majority of the people I know in exercises requiring stamina. I am able to put my weight loss in perspective by recognizing that I have lost the equivalent of a slender female.

Each of these achievements – and countless others – came as total shocks at different points over the last eleven months. So many things have been surprises as my body, my abilities, and my perspective has changed. And, just like my new hair style, I love it all!

There is a special kind of joy to be gained from those moments of unanticipated delight. It is a wonderful feeling to suddenly be given a gift that wasn’t expected. It’s an even better experience when – though we may not realize it’s what we are doing at the time – we are the one who wrapped the surprise up and placed a bow on it in the first place.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup corn bran square cereal
- 1 nectarine
- 1 blueberry muffin
- 1 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and chocolate chips
- 1 fig
- 1 1/2 cups dried mango
- 2 cups pineapple
- 3 glasses pomegranate berry flavoured water
- 20 whole grain tortilla chips
- 1/2 large ear corn on the cob with butter
- 3 cups imitation crab meat with a mayonnaise and seafood sauce blended dip
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk
- 3 1/2 hours of shifting, loading, and unloading moving boxes

Monday, July 12, 2010

Too Much Of A Good Thing

I took it easy today. With this first wedding over and the other one I have coming up not being until the end of this month, I decided early on this morning that I was going to just relax and take a bit of a breather before jumping right back into the full swing of things tomorrow.

However, I think I went too loose on the eating. I didn’t full out binge, but I was close to wanting to. I also ate so much that my stomach hurt at one point. Not good. I have to remember that just because I decide to give myself a break that I am not throwing in the towel for a whole day!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 chocolate delite fiber bar
- 2 cups vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and butterscotch chips
- 2 hard boiled eggs with fat free Miracle Whip
- 2 Kaiser buns with egg salad and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup maple almond granola cereal
- 1 cup steamed broccoli and cauliflower with margarine
- 1 cup pasta with creamy Parmesan sauce
- 5 chicken nuggets with honey mustard sauce
- 7 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 1 milk chocolate bar
- 1 sip scotch
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 10 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Blondes Have More Fun!

What a wonderful day! I saw a good friend get married today and I simply couldn’t be happier for her! She and her new husband are amazing people and it absolutely fills my heart to know that they find joy and peace with one another. The wedding, reception, and atmosphere of celebration were exceptional and I had a great time being a part of it all!

And, there was another very fun component to the day as well. I got to see a number of people that I haven’t seen in months, or - in some cases - even years, who were really taken aback by my transformation! I was told that I looked ‘very Sex in the City’, ‘amazing’, ‘incredible’, and ‘foxy’! My hubby even slipped in a ‘sensational’ or two to round out the compliments!

There were a few people who were so surprised that they kept on shaking their heads and saying, “I just can’t believe how you look!” And a couple of others actually didn’t even recognize me at first (one of whom I just saw yesterday, before my phenomenal haircut)!

I don’t think I have ever had so many people have so many nice things to say about my appearance at one time. Even when I got married I remember a lot more compliments about how genuine and beautiful the wedding was more than about how I looked. It was a real confidence boost to hear all the nice things that people had to say today.

At any rate, the whole day was a lot of fun! I was able to help out with set up a bit in the morning, attend a fabulous ceremony in the afternoon, and enjoy the dinner and dancing that the evening brought. I think what they say may be true… blondes really do have more fun!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup corn bran square cereal
- 2 slices toast with white bread containing whole grains, light peanut butter, and light strawberry jam
- 1 cup of a mixed pomegranate and orange slushie
- 1 peanut butter chocolate bar
- 1 glass white wine
- 1 white dinner roll with herb butter
- 2 gherkin pickles
- 3/4 cup Caesar salad
- 1/2 cup potato salad
- 1/2 cup seasoned rice with vegetables
- 1 piece barbecued chicken
- 1 slice roast beef
- 4 slices jalapeño cheese with ham
- 1 cup pasta salad
- 1 piece lemon wedding cake
- 1 tiny piece tiramisu cake
- 1 tiny piece black forest cake
- 1 tiny piece caramel cake
- 1 tiny piece carrot cake
- 1 1/2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of intermittent dancing

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 48

I am down 2.8 pounds from last week. It's funny to have this new temporary maintenance mindset. I am really happy to be below my red line again, but at the same time I am not feeling a whole lot of emotion specifically about the number. It's just something that I am recording, but no longer an element that is a driving force. I think these next few weeks of just enjoying where I am at will be really good for me!

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let Down Your Hair

I have never done anything with my hair.

For twenty plus years, I have had the exact same do. The only variation I have ever given it is the four or five times I used semi-permanent colours to give myself about three inches of bright pink, green, or purple tips. Even that was done with the back up plan to simply cut the colour off if I had hated it since only applying the dye to the ends left me an easy escape route.

I don't think many people understand just what my hair has meant to me over the years. As I put on weight, it was the one and only thing that stayed as it had been when I was thirteen, eighteen, twenty-one, twenty-nine, and so on. It was my security blanket. I often got compliments from people on the length or the naturally occurring tones, and as the positive remarks about other parts of my appearance dwindled while the number on the scale went up and up, it's not hard to imagine why I held on so dearly to my Plain Jane locks.

And I recognized this. For at least the last ten years I have said the exact same thing whenever people inquired as to whether I would ever change my look. I always replied, "When I lose the extra weight, I will do something different with my hair."

I think it's important to keep your promises.
Before - au naturel.
After - cut, coloured, and styled (the curls aren't permanent).

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 cup raspberries
- 1 banana
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 6-inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, black olives, onion, light mayonnaise, honey mustard dressing, and pepper
- 2 cups strawberry crème blended frappuchino with whipped cream
- 1 sandwich ham and cheese sandwich on a Kaiser bun with lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, mustard, and pepper
- 1 slice raspberry lemon loaf with lemon icing
- 1 cup of a mixed orange, root beer, and crème soda slushie
- 2 Reese’s peanut butter cups

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of jogging and walking intervals with a 5 minute walking warm up and a 5 minute walking cool down

Friday, July 9, 2010

Goodnight!

I must get to bed! I have to be up early in the morning for a very full and busy day! I promise I will be more interesting in my post tomorrow!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli turkey, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 nectarine
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 1/2 cups rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 strawberry
- 1 sip of a lemonade smoothie
- 1 blueberry muffin
- 1 banana
- 1 cup raspberry
- 2 slices toast with white bread containing whole grains, light peanut butter, and light strawberry jam

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Important Information For My Readers

I just want to let everyone know that my email has been compromised. A message was sent out to (I think) all of the people in my contact list which – thankfully – was not many. I am not happy about this and I apologize to anyone who may have received it! Apparently it was just a link to a website, but I have no idea what is on that page and it was NOT me who sent it, so if you got such a message from ‘me’ please just delete it.

I looked into what Hotmail suggests in these circumstances and they say to change one’s password and security question. I have now done this and am hopeful that it will resolve the matter. However, if anyone gets any odd messages from my account, please let me know right away. The last thing I want is for any of you to be getting spammed from someone working under the guise of it coming from me!

We now return you to regularly scheduled programming…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 banana
- 1 nectarine
- 1 1/2 cups mint chocolate chip ice cream
- 1/4 cup corn with margarine
- 1 cup steamed broccoli and cauliflower with margarine
- 1 white dinner bun with margarine
- 2 seasoned pork cutlets
- 1 chocolate delite fiber bar
- 1 cup of a mixed cream soda and fruit punch slushie

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of jogging and walking intervals with a 5 minute walking warm up and a 5 minute walking cool down

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

With My Compliments

Well, I finished another big project, although it was – of course – to the detriment of sleep. I am going to try to get a couple of hours of shut eye now…

Before I forget though, I want to note part of a conversation that my husband and I had yesterday. We were casually chatting about something or another and he made the comment (in a genuine manner; not sarcastically) that I am a genius. I immediately laughed it off, and pretty much rolled my eyes at him as I dismissed the praise.

My loving hubby suddenly changed gears and took on a very serious tone. “Stop doing that,” he told me. I was totally confused until he went on to explain that I have been cutting myself down by not taking compliments lately. Right away I recognized that this is, indeed, something that he has mentioned several times over the last few weeks or so. Well, yesterday, he went on to say that every time for the past couple of months that he has told me that I am generous, smart, beautiful, or anything else positive, I have rejected his kind words.

Then he made a very interesting remark: “I think it’s because of the way your body has changed.” He suggested that because I am generally feeling so good about my weight, health, and fitness level that I am depreciating myself in other areas. He really didn’t need to say much more after that.

I used to be good at taking compliments. But, my husband’s insight is accurate; I have been shying away from such accolades lately. What he said really struck a chord of truth for me and so I will work at it. I deserve to have my positive qualities recognized by him, by anyone else who offers such kind words… and certainly by me.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 1/2 cups fat free peach yogurt with 2 cups rice and wheat flakes granola cereal
- 1 1/2 cups cherries
- 2 golden delicious apples with cinnamon
- 3 1/2 slices French toast on white bread with margarine and maple syrup

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour of rowing a dragon boat

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Running To Stand Still

I went jogging today! It has been over a month since I last went for a run, so I am feeling very proud and excited about the fact that I actually got off my behind and did it this morning!

I did four running intervals of seven minutes each with a minute of walking in between. I felt like that was a pretty good reintroduction to the activity. I started out aiming to do fifteen or twenty minutes of five minute sections, but I was able to keep going without any problem. I could have done a few more minutes for each run, but I didn’t want to push myself after these last few weeks of not doing it at all.

When I was doing my third interval I even got a rush of energy that prompted me to contemplate adding on a little extra time. However, as I was half way through my final one, that musing was quickly reconsidered as my new found get-up-and-go got up and went. I felt great when I was done, but I think it was a good thing that I didn’t press myself to do too much. I want to remember the fun parts of running and not get bogged down by feeling like it is a chore.

So, for a change, I am really pleased with my workout today! Now I just need to keep it up!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 banana
- 2 narrow slices toasted white calabrese bread with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup granola cereal
- 2 cups cherries
- 1 cup sliced pot roast
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli and cauliflower with margarine
- 1/4 cup corn with margarine
- 1 heated cheese scone with butter
- 1 bite of a ginger snap cookie

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of jogging and walking intervals with a 5 minute walking warm up and a 5 minute walking cool down

Monday, July 5, 2010

Freedom!

In a very last minute, but completely fitting, decision, I have decided to join Deb’s Freedom Challenge! Corresponding very nicely with my timing of declaring temporary maintenance, a couple of the blogs that I read were making mention of this wonderful event and so I popped over to Deb’s site to investigate.

In a nutshell, this challenge is exactly what it sounds like. For four weeks, the goal is to commit to gaining freedom from something - be it food, poor health, stress, or anything else that fits the bill. Naturally, I will be staking my claim for freedom in the name of maintenance.

Nothing has changed since yesterday. I am not aiming to stay locked on a specific number, nor will I be doing this for the long run. But, for the next four weeks – which coincidentally very nicely coincides with my prior statement of doing this for the month of July – I am going to stop actively trying to lose weight.

So, I guess the goal is old news, but at least participating in something like this is a novel concept. Plus, I have always loved the fun badges that accompany these types of challenges and I think that being a part of such a well-timed endeavor will help me to stay committed to my current objective. Some things are just meant to be!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli turkey, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 banana
- 1 1/2 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 2 cups wheat and rice flakes granola cereal
- 12 golden delicious apples with cinnamon
- 3 narrow slices toasted white calabrese bread with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 cups meat lasagna
- 1 piece garlic bread
- 2 cups chocolate ice cream with sprinkles

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 10 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Maintaining My Sanity

Regardless of the fact that today was my first weigh-in of the month, I decided not to do an updated picture or measurements. I have been bouncing around within these ten pounds for quite a while now and I don’t think that I will be seeing any difference in the photographic evidence nor the numbers unless I manage to get back to the lower end of the spectrum inside of which I have found myself fluctuating. Which brings me to my next point…

I have had a number of people suggest to me recently that my body is likely struggling a little to catch up to all of the changes I have imposed on it this year. Largely due to that insight, as well as the mental and emotional battles I have experienced with my busy schedule, I have decided that it’s time for maintenance. This won’t be a permanent status, but rather a tool that I will employ for the next month to help me keep my sanity. Not long ago I put together a plan to make sure that I was caring for myself and I think that this fits in well with that. I believe that dropping the focus on weight loss for a few weeks will really help me in the long run.

Specifically, I am taking July off from attempting to lose weight. The one little exception to this is that as of my weigh-in this morning I was over my red line, initial goal of 150 pounds. I am confident that there are a couple of pounds of water weight in my overage which will disappear within a day or two, so as soon as I see the 140’s again I will be comfortable with just being. If I manage to drop a little bit during this time so be it, but I will not be actively pursuing losses over the next four weeks.

I need to learn to accept where I am at in the long run since genuine maintenance is not far off. I think this little exercise will have the happy side affect of preparing me for the lack of losses. I am, of course, aware that I have had a few weeks of gains lately resulting in my recent up and down movement on the scale, but I am talking more about when such things are done with intention. I think practicing for this upcoming circumstance can only be beneficial, and once things are a little calmer in August, I will switch my attention back to trying to lose the last little bit of weight that I would like to drop.

Because of all these temporary changes I am also going to give myself a corresponding mental break. I am removing the timeline of “July 2010” that I have had associated with my Final Goal Weight on the sidebar of this blog. I originally chose that date for my Initial Goal Weight and when I surpassed it in April I felt like I was on enough of a downward trend that simply switching it to my secondary aim was appropriate. I really did want to be finished with the losing part of this journey by the end of this month because I committed to all of this on August 12th and thought that it would be great to say that I did it in a year.

But guess what? It’s not a race! There is no reason for me to push myself just to meet a timeline that doesn’t actually have any bearing on my level of success. I know that I have accomplished an enormous amount over the past 47 weeks and I will continue to have great success even if I stop worrying about the progression of my numbers for one month.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 2 glasses sparkling grapefruit drink
- 1 cup pineapple
- 1 cup strawberries
- 4 white chocolates with white chocolate filling
- 2 cups stuffed ravioli in meat sauce with grated cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat and rice flakes granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 47

I stepped on the scale this morning and I really didn’t like what I saw staring back up at me. So I got off and stepped back up on it again. And again. Then I went about my normal morning routine in the hopes that I would somehow burn enough calories to make a difference before I ate something and had no choice but to record whatever number I saw. So, then I made my way back to the scale and tried again and again and again. I’m not joking here. I must have stepped up onto that little platform a couple of dozen times in some sad attempt to alter reality.

‘If I see a lower number just once then I can legitimately record it on my blog,’ I thought as I stepped off the scale feeling dismayed. I started to reach out and rest the tips of my fingers on the towel rack, effectively taking a couple of pounds off the reading. ‘I can be creative with my wording,’ my mind worked, ‘and just put that I saw “X” number on the scale because that’s the truth!’

I am so very serious. This really did just happen.

So…

I weighed in at 152.4. I saw a pretty wide range of numbers – some legitimate variations and some altered by playing with the scale – but that weight is the highest one I had this morning. I am up 5.4 pounds.

It hurts. On a lot of different levels this weigh-in is a painful one, but it is not nearly as bad as it would have been if I had made the decision to skew the truth for this journal. Who would that be helping? And I guess I figured that as long as I am continuing to let it all hang out on this blog that I may as well also record the sad scene that took place in my washroom. My honesty will certainly serve me better than trying to lie to myself, and maybe it can even be an example of true accountability to someone else.

Despite all of this I am still feeling remarkably positive! I am surprised and pleased that I am not letting this devastate me in any way. I am not happy about it, but I am the one who is in control of how I rectify the situation, just like I am the one who is in control of my honesty. And similarly to how I just delivered on the latter, regardless of the pitfalls I was in danger of succumbing to, I will likewise stand firm on remedying this setback.

Going Up

Today was so much mentally better than yesterday. My emotions have been all over the place lately, but I really needed the stress release that this evening brought. The morning and afternoon were very up and down, just as the past couple of weeks have been, but tonight I actually had a really great time and feel so much healthier and more relaxed for it. I got to spend time with one of my best friends who I haven’t been able to connect with for well over a month and we have even made plans to see one another again next week. It’s amazing how uplifting just being around the people you care about can be!

I really do feel great! I am very, very tired as is my typical condition of late, but I feel extremely positive and somehow energized despite my fluttering eyelids.

I think I have made a decision about where I am going on this journey, but I am going to wait until I am more awake to commit to it fully. Tomorrow morning, after a good night’s sleep, I will ponder the last few details before I finalize it in my own mind.

Wow! It is really good to feel such an improvement in my mood!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 2 plums
- 1 banana
- 12 inch toasted sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, black olives, light mayonnaise, honey mustard dressing, and pepper
- 12 whole wheat crackers with 1 light Laughing Cow wedge
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 2 golden delicious apples with cinnamon
- 1 cup multi-grain Cheerios cereal
- 2 1/4 cups reduced sugar apple cinnamon instant oatmeal with milk
- 1 cup vanilla ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate pieces
- 1 mug caramel cinnamon dolce steamed skim milk
- 1 large glass white fig wine

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Friday, July 2, 2010

Bad Day

It was not a good day. My mood was pretty down from the moment I woke up and it definitely affected my eating. I was also busy working on (surprise, surprise) yet another project which, of course, meant that I didn’t find the time to exercise. I wish I could rediscover the positivity that I normally enjoy, but I am getting sick of my own excuses…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, lettuce, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 pieces of a blond brownie square
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 9 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 11 lemon crème cookies
- 6 inch sub on a ciabatta bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fat free Miracle Whip, and mustard
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 1 sugar cookie
- 2 small brownie squares

EXERCISE:
- 10 lunges for each leg

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Stream Of Consciousness

I really felt like I was on my way back up for a short while there – like I was finally making my way back into my groove and leaving behind the bad habits that had started sneaking their way into my routine. I thought I was doing pretty well.

Now I am just not sure. I definitely don’t think that I am doing as poorly as I was, but it is evident that I am still struggling. I am feeling run down, my hand hurts, and I am lacking the concern for my own well-being that helped get me to this point. Comfort can be a dangerous enemy.

Sometimes I think about just giving myself a break and calling this maintenance, but I know that I would only be caving in. I don’t really care about the number, but the truth is that I am not delivering on all that I am capable of achieving. I can do more than I have been. I just somehow need to rediscover the time, the commitment, and the drive.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 12 whole grain crackers with 1 light Laughing Cow wedge
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, lettuce, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 1/2 cups Vector cereal
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 1/2 cup corn with margarine
- 1 1/2 cups pasta with Alfredo sauce
- 1 cup herb pork chops with mushrooms
- 2 cups cherries
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

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