Sunday, January 31, 2010

All Dressed Up With No Place To Go

I was thinking about it and I have a hunch that a number of people will probably be annoyed if I don’t post a photograph of me finally wearing the gown I have been lusting to get into for so long. Plus, you know, I just feel like having a little fun and showcasing the beautiful garment I have had as a goal outfit for over half a decade.

I am on my way out the door – in different clothing, I assure you – so I hope this little peak does the trick! I just love this dress!!!

It Fits!!!

I can’t believe it! The red dress that I have been pining over for the last six years actually fits! I haven’t been able to wear it in so long and – after trying it on today on a whim – now I can finally zip it up and feel comfortable in it! Wheeeeeeee!!!

Unfortunately in my excitement I decided to model it for someone and she felt the need to point out that I will likely have to wear a girdle of some type with the gown. I know that she was just trying to encourage me to reign in my lumps and bumps to create a smoother, more flattering silhouette, but still…

Oh, well! Honestly, I am just trying to let it go and I am holding onto the fact that I was able to raise that dress zipper the whole way! I think it looks great and I can’t wait to have someplace to actually wear it! I feel fabulous!!!

- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with smoked deli ham, deli turkey breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1/2 coconut chocolate
- 1/2 cherry chocolate
- 2 egg omelet with grated cheese, yellow pepper, onion, and pepper
- 1/2 cup fat free peach yogurt
- 1 large Mandarin orange
- 4 1/2 cups low fat popcorn
- 1 pear

- 30 stomach crunches

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 25

I’m down two pounds to an even 172. Meh. It’s not that I’m not happy to see the loss, it’s just that I was kind of mentally all over the map this week about how I’ve been doing and I feel like this weigh-in reflects the mediocrity I am worried has taken over. I can’t even settle on one particular viewpoint regarding how I believe things are progressing.

On the one hand, I feel like I have been working really hard and doing things right. I am staying on track with the exercise and the eating and making good decisions that I feel will help get me closer to my goals. But the other side of the argument I am having with myself leaves me wondering if I am becoming slightly complacent. I’m not sure that I have been pushing myself as hard as I once was, but rather simply doing what feels natural instead of challenging.

Now that I am done the 30 Day Shred, and have a bit more of an open schedule for workouts again, I think I will figure it out. I am hoping to take the weekend to get my head a bit more in order. I would like to believe that come Monday I will have formulated some type of plan to either get myself back going full force or to be more satisfied with the large amount of effort I am already putting forth.

A Shred Of Evidence

Ahhh… I feel very calm and surprisingly at peace. This is mostly unrelated to my physical well-being as it has basically been derived from the fact that I just had a few necessary moments of centering, but I suppose I can also give minor credit to the fact that I am now done the 30 Day Shred.

Can I just say how very happy I am to have completed this program!

Similar to my final stint with Level 2, as I finished up my last session tonight, I had to pause the DVD for a few seconds a couple of times to quickly catch my breath because I was working so hard. I managed to do almost all of the exercises on the highest intensity level, but I did have to do approximately half of the last two strength training moves (walking push-ups and plank rows with leg raises) in a modified manner to get through them.

Level 3 was definitely the hardest tier on this DVD; there's a reason is was left for the end. I am feeling pretty darned great about how I pushed myself. And, better than that, is the knowledge that I completed the entire thing! I am so enormously happy that I did the whole program, from start to finish, without taking off even a single day!

I’ve been thinking as I worked though the last couple of sessions about whether or not I would do something like this again. I think the answer is yes and no. First, nothing is outside of the realm of possibilities. Basically, though, I believe that this type of strict regimen isn’t quite for me. I liked that I was working towards a very specific goal, but not giving myself a chance to take a break – and thereby not doing more of a variety of activities – really is not something that I care to repeat anytime soon.

A program that only encompasses two or three days a week would be a much nicer fit for me. I need something that allows a bit more flexibility and which doesn’t limit my expectations of what the day will look like quite so much. I know a lot of that was self-imposed because it was my decision to not take a rest from the DVD, but that’s just the way I operate with things like this. I think a more widely spaced out routine would serve me better in the future. But, I am still really happy that I did it!

As far as what I think the whole experience did for my actual physique goes, I would have to say that it’s my arms that show the proof that I have been working so diligently. Pretty much everything else on my body is still covered over in (thinner) layers of fat, so it’s very hard for me to judge what may have changed due to the workouts I have been doing. My pipes though? They are the one thing that is definitely showing signs of improvement. It actually makes me want to incorporate more arm weights into my normal exercise now that I will be returning to my typical workout strategy.

There is one tiny complication as this program draws to a close. The last thing Jillian said before this final session of Level 3 ended was, “see you tomorrow.” I hate to stand her up, but she knew from the beginning that this relationship was only going to last a month. Thirty days later and the woman is getting all clingy? I think it’s time to make a clean break!

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 sandwich on sesame seed white bread with smoked deli ham, cheese, lettuce, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1/2 square from a homemade reduced-calorie chocolate banana bar with low fat Cool Whip
- 2 1/4 cups Caesar salad with croutons, dried cranberries, and light dressing
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 2 egg wrap on a soft tortilla shell with cheese, orange pepper, yellow pepper, and pepper
- 1/2 cup fat free butterscotch pudding
- 3 goji berry and pistachio crackers

- 50 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video
- 15 sets of walking up and down stairs (not all at one time)

Friday, January 29, 2010

Three... Three NSV's... Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah!

I have some non-scale victories I want to mention! The first one is that I am now able to comfortably buckle the seat belt of any seat in any vehicle I find myself needing to get into. Over the last three or four years this had really started to become a bit of an issue for me. Back seats (especially the middle ones) were the worst! I even had a few times when I was forced to switch places with the person in the front passenger seat because the belt just wouldn’t encircle my body where I was. I know on a couple of occasions I even had to really yank and fight with the front straps too in order to get them to work. But, no more! As far as my experiences have proven over the past month or so, I can now comfortably utilize all belts in all cars, vans, and trucks!

Secondly, I have found that my eye is being drawn to store side windows much more often. I just can’t get over the fact that it is me I am seeing in the reflection! I used to dread catching a glimpse of myself walking down the street like that because it would remind me of what I actually looked like and it would instantly deflate any of the self-esteem I had derived from my false perception of my appearance. Now, however, I am able to stroll along the road and peer frequently at myself in those shop windows and feel good about what is staring back.

Last, but not least, is an NSV that happened just yesterday. I am now able to wash every inch of my back without using a scrubber of any sort! Up until now, I have had to make use of a long handled back brush or a dangling bath poof in order to properly cleanse my upper back. The area between my shoulder blades and a little lower, in the center of my trunk, was simply inaccessible to my hands due to my large size and lack of flexibility, so I have been improvising to ensure maximum cleanliness. Well, no more! I am now quite able to reach all the way around myself to scrub away the sweat of my last workout without the need for fancy bath accessories!

My Husband Is Cheating With A Thinner Woman

Over a year ago I was out with my husband and we ran into a really nice woman that he works with. He introduced us, we all chatted for a few minutes, and then we went our separate ways.

Today I met up briefly with my man when he was working and I saw the same woman. Again, we talked for a short while – and she was very friendly – and then the two of them had to return to their duties so I said my goodbyes.

When my hubby returned home tonight I had to laugh! Apparently, his coworker was not entirely sure if I was the same person as she had met in the first encounter! She remembered me as a larger individual and she evidently was having a few thoughts of not wanting to blow my husband’s cover just in case he was juggling two women or had traded me in for… well – as it turns out – me!

- 11 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with smoked deli ham, grated cheese, lettuce, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 egg omelet with cheese, orange pepper, mushroom, and pepper
- 6 goji berry and pistachio crackers
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 3/4 cup fat free raspberry yogurt
- 2 cups Caesar salad with croutons, dried cranberries, and light dressing
- 1 square from a homemade reduced-calorie chocolate banana bar
- 3 cups celery with light peanut butter

- 25 minute workout video
- 1 hour and 25 minute walk

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Happy To Spread The Love

BlueRaspberry passed the Happy 101 Award onto me today. Thank you so much! As always, I am thrilled to be given this type of recognition and I am very flattered that so many lovely individuals take the time to read this little online journal of mine!

I was already given this gem, so I shall defer to my original list of things that make me happy. However, I thought that I would take the time to recognize a new group of people who have recently started this journey. When I first began this site it was a great day for me when I got my very first award, so I am passing this one onto ten of the newest bloggers who have just starting out on their journey in the last month or two and to whom I wish the very best!

1. Bought For A Price at Bought For A Price
2. Heather at Going From Fat To Well-Rounded
3. Audrey at The Disappearing Audrey
4. Notofthisworld at Chubarella
5. Matt at Lots To Lose
6. Lisa at One Mom’s Weight Loss
7. Bowmanh23 at Fun, Fit, And Fabulicious
8. Kailey at Kay Weighs In
9. Another Fat Girl at Just Another Fat Girl
10. Ruth Anne & Josh at From Flab To Fab: One Day At A Time

Just Going Through The Motions

*Edit: I tried to post this last night, but it turned out that the internet in my area was being serviced so I couldn’t get online.*

I’m not sure what was up with me today. I was a bit disconnected to everything. I sort of felt as if I was reluctant to take on anything specific, but also like I was fidgety and bored.

This discontent leaked into my exercise and food a little too. I kept finding myself in the kitchen, hunting through the fridge this evening and I kind of flitted from snack to snack, not really completely satisfied with anything. I kept it under control though. Then when I was working out I knew that I was only going through the motions, but not putting any real effort into the moves. I just could not seem to muster up any energy or enthusiasm.

It really wasn’t a bad day. It was just one of those times when I was not operating at my best and couldn’t force myself to focus. I did it though. I made myself do all the things that needed doing and I suppose that makes it a pretty good day after all.

- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with smoked deli ham, grated cheese, lettuce, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 2 cups cream of mushroom soup with pepper
- 1 slice sesame seed white toast with honey
- 2 1/2 cups broccoli and mushrooms with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing
- 1/2 cup fat free vanilla pudding
- 1/2 cup fat free peach yogurt

- 40 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

One Of Those Days

There’s not much on the agenda today. I have lots of little things that I should probably try to get to, but nothing too big that absolutely needs to get done. I am into the home stretch of the 30 Day Shred, so I will definitely be doing that video. Other than that, I would like to find something else to do on the exercise front but I’m not sure of what yet. It’s pretty grey and uninspiring outside today and I think it’s affecting my mood a bit…

Crunching The Numbers

It occurred to me yesterday that I have a ‘normal’ amount of weight to lose now. I am in the overweight category on the body mass index chart; I am no longer obese nor morbidly obese. I have between fifteen and fifty pounds left to lose, depending on how you want to look at it, but I am no longer in need of dropping triple digits.

It’s a strange feeling to know that I could potentially drop just slightly over what the British call a stone and be at a weight that I could be content with. To me, that seems like the type of thing many people I know might say. I have often heard friends speaking about how they would like to lose ten to twenty pounds. I can’t believe that that is where I currently am at.

Even the slightly more daunting possibility of losing another fifty seems so much more realistic than the more than ninety pounds I have already rid myself of. I honestly can’t get over that fact that I have gotten to this place. I am going to make it!

Then, of course, the question becomes: where exactly will I make it to? I just mentioned that I have between fifteen and fifty pounds I would still like to drop, but that is a fairly wide spread. Where are my numbers coming from?

There are six possible goal weights that I may decide to strive for:

159.2 – a normal body mass index reading
150.0 – the goal I posted when beginning this journey
133.0 – half my weight from my highest point
127.3 – half my weight since starting this blog
126.0 – 140 down from my highest point
124.6 – 130 down since starting this blog

The first possibility is not very likely. I think that simply getting to that point and stopping would leave me worried that I would easily slip back into the overweight category. I’m pretty confident that I will be moving past this weight without looking back.

I’m not too proud to admit that the goal of 150 that is recorded on the side of this blog was picked arbitrarily and because it was a nice, round, easy number to aim for. It never meant much to me apart from that. I needed something specific to work towards when I started out and it is a goal that has served me well, but I still suspect that it is not the point at which I would be truly satisfied.

133 is the number that I think of when I contemplate where I want to be. It really signifies something important to me and is the point I have referred to before as my ‘secret goal’. This – or close to it – is where I actually suspect I will end up.

All three of the final goal weights are there because I don’t like to discount any possibility. I do not know if they are overly important to me, but they are still numbers that represent significant milestones and I am hesitant to dismiss them right away. My best guess is that I will get down to 133 and then make my way to at least the 127 point so that I have a range within which I can comfortably fluctuate. If I am actually able to stay around the 130 mark I think that I would be very happy and healthy there.

All of this is hearsay, of course, until I actually close in a little more on these numbers. Contrary to the focus of this post, I am not overly concerned right now with what the scale is telling me. Rather I want to concentrate on continuing with the healthier eating and activity levels that I have now incorporated into my life.

To me, the numbers aren’t very important at this point, but I still find value in examining where I want to be because it reminds me of what I need to do to get there. I will be listening closely to my body over the coming months to figure out exactly how much weight is right for me to lose. In the meantime, I am still excited to be at this stage. I am actually thrilled that I am overweight and that I may still have fifteen to fifty pounds left to drop. And I am especially pleased that I have reached the part of my journey where I don’t feel like any of this is insurmountable!

- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 small Mandarin orange
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with roast chicken, grated cheese, lettuce, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 9 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 pear
- 2 1/2 cups orange pepper and mushrooms with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing

- 25 minute workout video
- 1 hour and 30 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (25 minutes long, 45 minutes long, and 20 minutes long)
- 1 hour Belly Dancing For Fitness class

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Thank You Note

Today should be good exercise-wise. I have a workout video and my belly dancing class that I am committed to; I also think I may try to fit a nice walk into my afternoon as well. Food should be good as I am on track with it so far and don’t foresee any issues arising later on. Mentally, I am right where I need to be.

I’ve noticed lately that I have quite a few new followers of this blog and I wanted to say hello, welcome, and thank you! It is often a bit of a puzzle to me as to why anyone might want to tag along on my journey, but it means the world that you do. I absolutely could not have made as much progress as I have without the support and motivation that this online community has given. I honestly can not put into words the appreciation that I have for the gifts you have given me, so to all the freshest faces – and for all my fabulous, familiar friends – I must simply say thank you so much!

I Have Arrived

I received an email today with my very first offer to try a service for free. I was so touched! I know that it is basically just a great way for companies to get their names out there with free advertising via blogs, but it still meant something that I was deemed worthy to have such a proposition put forth to me.

I did decline. I looked on the website and got a good sense of what they were asking me to take part in before I made my decision. The particular online product which was being offered to me in the trial just didn’t feel like it was a good fit for me. It was not something that I would naturally gravitate towards and I didn’t think that I would be able to give a fair assessment of a service that did not genuinely draw my interest. The email they sent really was very nice though and it was a great feeling to be given that little bit of recognition.

Of course, I’m not a fool… If offers start coming in for me to try out new running shoes or workout clothes for free, chances are my poor readers will have to sit through a review or two!

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup fat free lemon chiffon yogurt with 1 cup Vector cereal
- 1 mug coconut steamed skim milk
- 3 tortilla chips with spinach, artichoke, and Parmesan dip
- 5 cups spinach salad with grilled shrimp, bacon bits, toasted almonds, onion, roasted red peppers, and bacon vinaigrette dressing
- 2 homemade tuna cakes

- 25 minute workout video

Monday, January 25, 2010

No Swimming Upstream Allowed

Wow! Apparently everyone wants the recipe I mentioned last night, so I am happy to oblige. I have to admit that I am nervous about posting it; like I said I had never really tried my hand at creating something like this prior to yesterday evening. I hope you all like it! Feel free to provide feedback if you actually attempt to cook these yourself, speaking of which I think I just may have to make them again today!

Tuna Cakes Recipe (A.K.A. Delish Squished Fish Disks)

1 cup zucchini, grated
1 Tb onion, chopped
1/4 garlic clove, minced
1 (6 oz) can of light tuna packed in water, drained
12 crumbled whole wheat saltine crackers
2 Tb light mayonnaise
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 tsp pepper

Sauté the zucchini, onion, and garlic in a frying pan covered lightly with cooking spray for about five minutes. Mix the remaining ingredients together and add the sautéed vegetables. Combine well. Form into four patties and then brown in a large skillet covered lightly with cooking spray over a medium heat for three to five minutes. Enjoy!

Tastes Like Chicken Of The Sea

I’m not sure what got into me tonight. I have written a few times about how I am very much not the cooking type. I tend to be an eat-and-go kind of gal, which is likely how I ended up weighing 266 pounds. It’s not that I am particularly bad in the kitchen – in fact, I am an excellent baker – but rather that I am not a big fan of putting the time into creating an interesting meal when I could simply microwave something or go out to eat.

Since I have begun this journey I have obviously moved away from this habit a little, but I still tend to stick with very easy to prepare meals, such as wraps, and I consume a lot of quick fix items like celery sticks, yogurt, and fruit. I like my ruts. They’re easy and they have kept me on track so far.

So why in the world I suddenly felt possessed this evening to try my hand at altering a recipe on my own completely escapes me. Why I chose to make the main ingredient tuna, which I have never – even once – eaten willingly as an adult, also leaves me pretty baffled.

Yet, that is exactly what happened. I was looking in the fridge trying to decide what might peak my interest, but I couldn’t get the thought of tuna cakes out of my head. I hate tuna, but I saw a particularly yummy looking photograph in a cook book yesterday that showed the savory patties and I wondered if they might be a nice way to try and incorporate fish into my diet in some way.

I went online and found a few different recipes that looked easy and that were lower in fat, I thought about which ingredients seemed the most appealing to me, and I came up with a unique version which I then cooked! My husband nearly fell out of his seat when I presented him with his share!

The best part is that they were delicious! Really and truly, had I tasted them in a restaurant or at a friend’s I definitely would have looked forward to having them again. My darling man gobbled his up too and said that he loved them and wished there were more!

I don’t know what got into me tonight, but the results were superb! I am shocked and amazed that this little uncharacteristic undertaking turned out so well. It gives me hope that this pilgrimage to better health will continue to provide me with these types of positive surprises that have nothing at all to do with the scale. I am sure that I would not have gotten to this point if it weren’t for the slowly developing habits and new tastes that this journey has afforded me, and I am feeling very fortunate that I am continuing on the right track to a better and improved version of me… in many, many ways!

- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 2 egg wrap on a soft tortilla shell with grated cheese, orange pepper, mushrooms, and pepper
- 1 mug of caramel apple spice drink
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light strawberry jam
- 1 1/2 cups mushrooms with calorie-wise three cheese dressing
- 1 small Mandarin orange
- 2 homemade tuna cakes

- 40 minute walk
- 25 minute exercise video

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Bone Scan

I was looking in the mirror last night and noticed that my shoulder blades are just starting to become visible. I think the weight lifting portions of the exercise video I have been doing have really been helping to add definition to my upper torso. I love the idea of have a truly sexy back sometime in the near future!

Right now though - and for the last month or so - I am totally and completely in love with my shoulders! I don't ever remember them looking so lovely and sculpted. There are all these beautifully defined grooves and valleys by the collarbones and I feel like there is absolutely no fat on them. I am really happy that I have a part of my body that I actually don't think needs any more work. I could easily live with these shoulders for the rest of my life and be thrilled every time I caught a glimpse of them!

Shoulders... who knew!?

My husband also keeps pointing out my recently rediscovered hipbones. It's nice to see them making a reappearance as well! He made mention recently of how he now has something to hold onto... I'm sure he meant if we ever go salsa dancing!

The Divide

Today I saw two women whom I haven’t seen in quite a long time. They both told me that I am looking great and I felt like they were very sincere in their remarks. It was really nice, but also a little weird. They are both overweight.

I never really thought too much about this scenario. The majority of my friends are relatively typical when it comes to what they weigh, so when I’ve seen one of them after an extended period of time I tend to think of my weight loss as a way in which I am becoming a little more similar to them. It never occurred to me that the opposite would be true.

Obviously I am only talking about the external physical shells that we all walk around in; I know perfectly well that – apart from any lessons an individual may learn because of a weight problem – how one looks has nothing to do with who a person is deep down. Yet, this evening, I still felt that in some way there was a very slightly increased divide between myself and the people I hadn’t seen in so long.

I’m not sure how to explain it… I am not trying to imply that the separation was due to a conscious thought or even on any significant level. It was not an inferiority / superiority thing. It didn’t even have to do with anything that was said or any tones used. It was just… there. This thought that echoed somewhere in the back of my head and that I felt so much like I could read in the eyes of both woman. It was this vague sense that recognized that we were no longer quite as similar as before.

Maybe I imagined it?

It has left me feeling a little bewildered. My mother is overweight, but I see her so frequently that this was never an issue. But tonight – with the surprise that crossed their features when they laid eyes on the shrunken version of me – I felt like I had abandoned these people in some small way.

- 9 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 1/2 bananas
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 4 bites of pumpkin pie with 95% fat free Cool Whip
- 1/2 cup grapes
- 2 bites of a double chocolate cookie
- 1 1/4 cup homemade spinach, artichoke, and cheese pastry wreath
- 3 slices salami
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1/2 cup fat free mango-passion fruit yogurt

- 1 hour and 40 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings ( 1 hour long and 40 minutes long)
- 25 minute workout video

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 24

I weighed in at an even 174 this morning. I’m happy with that!

I have exactly eight more pounds to lose before I hit the mark of having lost 100 pounds from my highest weight. This was back in mid-April of 2009 and I am confident that I will be seeing 166 sometime in February, so I will have done all that in less than a year. I am feeling pretty excited about this upcoming event!

I think that, for me, one of the keys to my weight loss success has been recognizing the smaller triumphs as I pass by the littler milestones. They allow me to avoid being overwhelmed by concentrating on a far off goal, and rather give me a chance to feel victorious – and, thus, to remain motivated – along the way. It’s important though to avoid the complacency that could potentially come with being too pleased with the progress being made. Ultimately, I don’t want to say that I have lost 100 pounds; I want to know that I met my end goal. However, I am glad that I am enjoying the ride along the way to my final destination!

Me, Myself, And I Must Be Crazy

Wow! Thank you so much, Sheilagh, for also deeming me worthy of the Happy 101 Award! I am so honoured – this is the fourth time this week that someone out there has thought to pass this great accolade onto me and I am truly touched. Thank you!

This evening the thought popped into my head that it would be nice to go for a jog. What?! I wasn’t really sure where that came from and I figured the moment of obvious lunacy would pass so I continued on with what I was doing. Then I thought about it again.

I told myself that I was being silly, that it was already dark, and that I was done working out for the day. I went and got myself a snack to distract the bizarre voice in my head that kept prattling on about wanting to go running through the streets, working up a sweat. After I finished my celery sticks I settled back into what I was working on, confident that I had sufficiently squelched the enthusiasm of my inner athlete. About twenty minutes later she was back.

Fine! I decided to do it. Why not, right? I’m not really sure where the sudden burst of energy came from or why my brain dialed in so specifically on going for a jog, but that’s what I did. I wore a long-sleeved white shirt to ensure my visibility and I was extra careful when crossing the streets. I’m pretty sure that everyone who saw me doing my extra slow paced run out in the freezing cold tonight must have seriously wondered about my sanity.

I have to admit... I am wondering about my sanity!

- 9 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup low fat spiced apple yogurt
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3 cups spinach salad with croutons, mushrooms, red pepper, dried cranberries, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 2 celery stalks with fat free rancher’s choice dressing

- 25 minute workout video
- 1 hour walk completed in 2 outings (both 30 minutes long)
- 30 minute jog, plus a 5 minute warm up walk and a 5 minute cool down walk

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

I feel like a big liar even though I know that's not the case. The scale is back down again today. It seems like literally every single time I start to question whether I will have a loss for the week or not, the number suddenly drops the next day and my mind is largely put at ease.

Compared to yesterday morning I have gone down over a pound and a half. Seriously? I know I said my food intake was low yesterday due to decreased hunger, but it wasn't that bad. Again, I think I am going to have to chalk this one up to the joys of being a woman.

It's weird though. Every time - whether it is due to hormones or not - I mention that I am weighing in over my last official number as the next Saturday approaches (which, by the way, I think I am probably doing as a defensive and preparatory mechanism), I wake up to find that my weight has plummeted while I slept and that the likelihood of a weekly loss is nearly secured.

I'm not complaining. This is just an observation on the oddities of my particular weight loss and healthier lifestyle plan.

Nevertheless, I feel like the boy who cried wolf except that I am actually seeing the wolves in the surrounding forest, but they dart away before anyone else can confirm that they were there. Maybe I'm paranoid. Perhaps I am still not completely used to the normal ebb and flow of my body. It's possible that I just need to get my eyes checked. Whatever the case may be, I will try to remember that no matter what the scale is telling me throughout the week that I just need to remain focused on the task at hand while keeping the knowledge of the circling wolves tucked away in the peripheral of my mind.

Happy, Indifferent, And A Little Put Out

First off, a big thank you to Tammy who gave me the Happy 101 Award! Thank you, my friend, for passing this bit of recognition onto me; I really appreciate it! I also just received this one the other day so I hope it’s understandable that I am going to forego redoing my list of ten things so shortly after my first time…

In the meanwhile, I did continue to have a hard time finding my hunger today. I just wasn't in the mood for anything big. I snacked pretty consistently though to try and make up for a lack of proper meals. Plus, I do think that I managed to eat a variety of stuff so I'm pretty sure my intake was balanced too.

I'm not sure what was going on today with the eating. I just wasn't interested. Perhaps it's the monthly hormones that are doing it? I'm pretty sure they are what is responsible for my scale being disagreeable so far this week. Sigh...

- 8 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 5 cups low fat popcorn
- 3 cups celery with light peanut butter
- 1 glass of noel nog soy milk

- 50 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Thursday, January 21, 2010

That White Rabbit Has Nothing On Me

I'm late! I am not even sure what I was doing today that delayed this post so much. Ever have one of those days that just seems to get away from you?

Anyhow, I am thinking that I will be heading out for a walk right now. I have a workout video planned for later on this evening, but I would like to try and do something more than just that today so a stroll seems like a good option.

Food choices are going well so far although I am not feeling overly hungry and think I may be under eating a touch today. Maybe I'll grab a snack before I leave to make sure I am fueled properly. Somethings my own body doesn't even know what's good for it!

It's Not You, It's Me

Apparently I am a big, paranoid baby. I was fretting over Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred and I now know that it was for no good reason. Don’t get me wrong… it is a hard workout. It’s definitely the toughest video I have ever done. However, I think I worked myself up into being a huge worry wart without just cause.

The problem, which I can clearly see now that I know what to expect from the last nine days of this series, is that I had never in my life done planks prior to the eleventh day of this DVD. After the initial shock of trying those for the first time, the rest of the workouts in that level got easier as I became more accustomed to the movements, but I still held onto the fear that today I would discover something yet more difficult to master and vastly unfamiliar to me. Well, guess what? The main premise of this final level is building on what has already been learned in the first two.

Thank goodness! I can’t believe how relieved I was to finish today’s set and finally rest assured that this is something I can see through to the end! I’m a pretty stubborn girl to begin with – my birthday just passed, which means I am a Capricorn; basically I’m a determined mountain goat – so I was fairly certain I was going to finish the 30 Day Shred regardless of any roadblocks. However, now my confidence is up and I am absolutely positive that this is something I can do!

Again, I know it won’t be easy to finish this last week and a half. The workouts really are a killer and are much more advanced than the first twenty days. Right now I am just doing the beginner’s steps, but I will start bringing in some of the bigger, more expertly performed movements soon. Hopefully by the end I will be ready to crush the blasted DVD between my abs, thighs, or buns of steel!

- 7 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 pear
- 1 1/2 cups rice with small pieces of vegetables
- 1/2 piece of pita with tzatziki
- 1/2 Greek roast potato
- 1 cup Greek salad with feta cheese, onion, tomato, green pepper, and dressing
- 1 cup lamb souvlaki pieces
- 3 cups spinach salad with croutons, dried cranberries, mushrooms, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing
- 1 cup broccoli, sunflower, and bacon crunch salad

- 1 hour and 40 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (1 hour and 5 minutes long and 35 minutes long)
- 25 minute workout video

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

There's No Accounting For Taste

I am up for an early start and have a full day ahead, so I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to do a more detailed post before this evening. I do have a good walk planned for a couple hours from now though, so I am on track regardless of being busy.

There is one thing I wanted to mention before I head out that I forgot to post about yesterday. I was standing in front of the fridge looking for something to eat last night; I opened the vegetable drawer, saw the peppers, and exclaimed, “Mmm!” To me, this is so amusing because a couple of years ago – sheesh, just five months ago – I never would have been excited at the though of munching on something like those peppers. My, how my tastes have evolved!

I Like The Way The Scarves Jingle

I had my first Belly Dancing For Fitness class tonight. It was fun although I felt like I had a bit of trouble keeping up with the rest of the people there. I chatted with the instructor about it afterwards and she reassured me that all woman tend to feel that way after their first class, but that she hadn’t noticed me struggling like I thought I was. She gave me an information sheet that explains how to break down each of the moves, so I will likely try to get a bit of practice in before next week’s session.

When we were talking I also mentioned the weight I have lost. I told her that sometimes I feel like I really know my body very well because I have been so focused on it during this journey, but that there are also a lot of times when I feel like I don’t know it at all because of how drastically it has changed in a relatively short amount of time. In today’s class for example, I occasionally felt like I was doing the wrong thing because I don’t know how to get my new body to move properly. It’s as if all of the parts of me are literally in different places and I have to really think about and concentrate on how to get them to react in the same ways that were simply second nature to me when I weighed 266 pounds.

Regardless of all the mental processes, I really did have a good time doing the belly dancing and am looking forward to going again next week. Hopefully by then I will have a touch more lift and drop control in my hips and a little extra shimmy in my soul.

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup fat free raspberry yogurt with 1 cup almond Oatmeal Crisp cereal
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 coconut and apricot fruit rolled treat
- 1 slice honey mustard ham with mustard
- 2 1/2 cups sliced orange pepper and mushrooms with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing

- 25 minute workout video
- 1 hour belly dancing class

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Level Up!

Whew! I just finished Level 2 of the 30 Day Shred. I won’t lie: I’m pretty scared to see what Level 3 will be like.

When I completed Level 1 I felt like I had totally killed the workout; I thought that I was ready for whatever I would face in the next set of exercises. I was wrong and have definitely struggled over the last ten days to build myself up to the highest degree of intensity.

I would say that today I did it, but that the video very nearly killed me rather than vice versa. I paused the DVD for a few seconds a couple of times to make sure that I didn’t miss out on anything by pausing to catch my breath, and I had to take a really quick break in the middle of two of the harder plank exercises. I did, however, do everything with high energy and on the maximum difficult level. Overall, I’m pretty proud.

Like I said though, I am sort of dreading what Level 3 will bring. The one saving grace that I can think of right now is that at least I will be starting it back at the beginner’s stage and working my way up to the big, intense moves. I’m pretty sure that if I felt like I had to jump right into the maximum output stage that I would be ‘accidentally’ dropping the DVD off a ten story building tonight.

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

I am so touched! I have been given a new award from both the incredible Dawne and the fabulous Katie! In accepting the Happy 101 Award I am supposed to list ten things that make me happy and pass this fun badge onto ten other great bloggers. Done and done!

1. My husband.
2. Spending quality time with friends and family.
3. Dreaming about the future.
4. Completing a project.
5. Flowers.
6. Travelling.
7. Crossing things off my life list.
8. Doing the impossible.
9. My wedding ring.
10. Validation.

1. Jo at 282.5
2. Larkspur at Am I Really That Fat?
3. Enz at Downward TrENZ
4. S. at Ethereal Endeavor
5. K. at Fat [Free] Me
6. VRaz at Just For The Hell-th Of It!!
7. Susan at The Crazy Woman Inside Me
8. Amy at The Not So Secret Life of a Not So Super Together Mom
9. Jody at Truth 2 Being Fit
10. Jenn at Watch My Butt Shrink!

- 9 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 slice of honey mustard ham with mustard
- 3/4 cup fat free mango-passion fruit yogurt with 1 cup almond Oatmeal Crisp cereal
- 8 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 4 whole wheat crackers
- 2 cups celery with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing
- 1/2 cup diced pear cup
- 1/2 cup fat free butterscotch pudding

- 25 minute workout video

Monday, January 18, 2010

It's Like Comparing Apples And Pears

A friend told me a couple of days ago that I have a very classic pear shape right now. I think this is a huge improvement over the apple shape I know I had at the start of this journey. Of course, we all want to work towards something a little more hourglass-like, but I was pretty satisfied with the remark.

We were having a great conversation about the weight I have lost and she continued on to say that she doesn't think I look much different in my upper body than she does (which is a massive compliment as she is quite petite in my eyes). She admitted that I still have work to do as far as my lower half goes, but that she doesn't necessarily feel like it is a weight loss issue at this point so much as a toning thing.

I love having a good friend who is so open and honest about these things! It helps me so much to have more than just my own thoughts on how I am progressing. I have found lately that my perspective is quite off when trying to assess what I look like in an objective manner, so these types of conversations are invaluable to me right now!

H.E.A.L.T.H.Y. L.I.V.E.S.

I received a comment from Holly at Fat Girl Running in one of my last posts that really got me thinking about what I have done to be successful on this journey so far. When I was responding to her I decided that it made a lot of sense to do a whole post about the topic. These are not things that I think are necessarily universally applicable, but they are the general guidelines which I have personally followed over the past five months and which work exceptionally well for me.

1. Make it sustainable. This is point number one for a reason! Don't go on a diet or a fad workout program that you plan on stopping once you have achieved your goal. Instead, find something you feel you can stick with long term and which will work in your life on a regular basis.

2. Enjoy it. This goes hand in hand with the first point and while I know it is hard to imagine really loving new, healthier habits when you are first starting out, just work on the parts that you enjoy for now. Before you know it you will be setting yourself up for more exploration and bigger successes as you begin challenging yourself, and the scope of what you enjoy will become much wider.

3. Avoid deprivation. I don't feel that denying yourself something is generally an effective way to lose weight and become healthier as it works against making your plan sustainable. I know this, more than many other points, would be argued by some as they have had much success with cutting out trigger foods, but for myself I have had to realize that making certain things off limits just makes me crave them more. If I want to eat something that is not a great choice, I will minimize the amount I consume rather than thinking of it as completely off limits.

4. Recognize the folly of perfection. It doesn’t exist, so stop trying to chase it. You will make mistakes – it’s how we learn. Do not allow a moment of weakness, during which you consumed an entire cheesecake, to dictate how you deal with the rest of your day. There is no reason to ‘give up’ and ‘restart tomorrow’. Every single second can be the one you decide to make a good choice, and the cycle of feeling like you messed up and can’t fix it, so why bother trying needs to be broken. If you don’t make the best choice just figure out what happened, decide how to avoid the same problem in the future, and move on.

5. Work on the emotional and mental aspects. If you are simply trying to change your food and exercise habits without addressing the issues that initially caused you to overeat or live in a sedentary manner, there will likely only be short term progress. I learned this lesson again and again over the many years that I attempted to lose weight. Figure out what the problems were in the past; sometimes they are very simple and sometimes very difficult to work through, but they are important to recognize and deal with regardless.

6. Stay in the game. It is easy to start to let things slide and to become complacent after a while. Be prepared for the pitfalls you may face and know how to avoid or cope with them. I try not to ever give myself too much slack because I recognize that, for me, it is a slippery slope. We are capable of accomplishing a lot if we work hard and refuse to return to old habits that did little to serve us positively in the past.

7. Move a little every day. Even if all I do is 30 stomach crunches or a set of squats (although, personally, I generally do a lot more) I make sure I do something every day. I often find that once I am moving I will do more than I was anticipating.

8. Plan. Make sure to prepare for what the day, week, and even month may bring. Got a birthday dinner coming up? Decide ahead of time how much cake, if any, you will be having. Do you know that your day will be exceptionally busy in the evening? Be sure to workout in the morning to avoid running out of time later on. Realize that the holiday season is approaching? Offer to bring a vegetable platter to each event so that you know with certainly that there will be at least one healthy alternative offered.

9. Find your motivation. This actually didn't solidify for me until I was a couple of weeks into this journey. I was already making progress, but decided that I really needed to commit to developing a body I was confident was healthy enough to handle pregnancy in the near future. My motivation has actually changed a bit as time has gone on and I think that is okay too - we should utilize what is important to us when trying to discover what will light the fire to promote positive change.

10. Realize that turning something down is not the end of the world. A big mental block that I had to work through was realizing that I ate a lot of items because I felt like if I didn’t I would not be able to get them again when I actually wanted them. Put this belief away. In the modern world there isn’t much that we can’t have year round if we really want it, so don’t panic if you decide to turn down a slice of sun-dried tomato Havarti cheese at a friend’s place even though you would never normally buy it for yourself. If you really can’t get it out of your mind later, you can always go to the supermarket.

11. Try to eat cleaner. My best advice is to concentrate on whole ingredients - mostly what you can find against the outside walls of a grocery store (stay out of the aisles as best you can since that is where all the processed items are stocked). I could never go totally clean myself, but a lot of the food I eat now is prepared from whole ingredients whereas I used to be the processed food queen!

12. Make it yours. This is almost the same concept as my initial point, but I think it is worth re-framing. What I am doing will probably not work in exactly the same way for any other person. There are too many factors involved – including age, height, genetics, lifestyle, and personality – that could alter the results of following my specific regimen. Ensure that what you are doing works for you. This is so important! Remember that this is a lifestyle change and not something you will be doing just to reach a goal; allow it to be flexible, varied, and evolving in nature to accommodate who you are and who you may become. It needs to fit with the person you are in this moment in order to offer the sustainability that will make you successful on this journey!

Now, because I am a bit of a dork and was trying to come up with a clever way to summarize all of these points in one nice, neat package I created the following acronym to help simplify this information. Just remember that we are all after H.E.A.L.T.H.Y. L.I.V.E.S.!

Have sustainability.
Enjoy what you are doing.
Avoid deprivation.
Learn to accept your imperfections.
Think about the mental and emotional aspects.
Halt complacency.
Yield to daily activity.

Look ahead.
Inspire commitment.
Validate passing on food.
Eat cleaner.
Stay true to yourself.

- 8 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light strawberry jam
- 1 banana
- 5 whole wheat crackers
- 1 egg white wrap on a whole wheat tortilla with feta cheese, spinach, and sun-dried tomatoes
- 1 mug coconut steamed skim milk
- 10 yam fries dipped in a mayonnaise sauce
- 4 cups Caesar salad with baby shrimp, Parmesan, and croutons
- 1/4 piece foccacia garlic bread
- 2 orange chocolates
- 1 cup low fat pumpkin pudding

- 25 minute workout video

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Happy Birthday To Me!

I had a wonderful day! It was my birthday and a close friend asked to make me dinner to celebrate. She went out of her way to make all of my favourite dishes and a wonderful cake, plus I got to spend some really great quality time with her and the rest of her family which I absolutely loved!

I got a ton of phone calls wishing me a happy birthday from all of my friends and family too which completely made my day, and I was even spoiled to find a beautiful bouquet of flowers from another close friend when I came home this evening. The only bad thing was that I didn’t really get to see my hubby much at all today because our schedules just did not mesh. It was expected though and I am sure that we will have the chance to do something fun tomorrow to make up for it!

I know this isn’t really health related in any way, shape, or form, but I just felt like recapping my nice day tonight. It’s so easy to forget about some of the simple pleasures in life and I want to make sure that I remember this day for a long time. Tomorrow I will keep the drive to continue getting healthier more in the forefront of my mind. Today, I am perfectly content with just being me in every conceivable way.

- 7 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light strawberry jam
- 1 banana
- 4 cups salad with ham, grated cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, black olives, and honey mustard dressing
- 1 mug coconut steamed skim milk
- 1 small dark chocolate chip health cookie
- 2 slices honey mustard ham with mustard
- 1 cup cheese scallop potatoes
- 1/2 cup corn
- 1/2 cup noodle and broccoli mix in cream sauce
- 1 slice homemade white bread with butter
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1 piece angel food cake with chocolate whipped cream icing and strawberries

- 30 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 23

This morning’s weigh-in of 175.8 showed a weekly drop of 4.0 bringing my pounds lost to a grand total of ninety! I am super happy about that and feel like I earned every ounce of my loss this week. I am so close to an even one hundred being gone – and so looking forward to that milestone – that I nearly already feel like it is shed because I am walking on air with the anticipation. Yay, me!

Sorting Out How I Feel About Being Out Of Sorts

Today was a weird day. I felt quite a bit more munchy than normal and I really had to talk myself into working out. In hindsight, I almost think I should have allowed myself the break because I did not end up feeling energized like I usually do, but rather just more exhausted.

I even toned down the toning up significantly, but am still totally feeling wiped. I also had a nap earlier this evening which I nearly never do. Considering how busy I am this weekend the fact that I decided to grab a few moments of shut eye part way through my day really speaks to how much I needed it.

I think my body it trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure what it is. It could be that I’m reacting to hormones, tiredness, or even the last tiny bit of this cold holding on for dear life. I don’t know. I just wish I didn’t feel so beat and so unlike myself.

- 9 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 banana
- 2 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 5 whole wheat crackers
- 1 cup homemade turkey soup
- 2 egg omelet with grated cheese, onion, mushroom, and pepper
- 1/2 cup low fat pumpkin pudding

- 35 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Friday, January 15, 2010


I spent the majority of the day in front of the computer reworking some documents. I was absolutely itching to be active by the time I was done and I ended up going for a walk, despite the fact that it was pouring rain. I just really needed to unwind and apparently now exercise is the thing that allows me to do that!

I am going to be really busy from now through the weekend and am doubting that I will be able to post in the mornings for the next three days – apart from my Saturday weigh-in report, of course. I will do my best to stay in the loop and will hopefully be back to my regular routine come Monday.

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1 cup low fat pumpkin pudding
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light strawberry jam
- 1 sliced yellow pepper with tzatziki yogurt dressing
- 1 piece of a homemade blond brownie with icing

- 35 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Thursday, January 14, 2010

How Can I Help You?

Lately I have noticed that a couple of my friends have started making comments about the shape they are in. Specifically, I have heard one tell me that she really needs to get back to the gym and another has remarked on how she is feeling very large these days.

I am sure that I have heard similar declarations from friends before, but they were always statements that made me feel like they were being too critical of themselves, considering the far worse off state that I was in. I don’t know if the remarks are stated differently now that I have lost so much weight myself, or if it is just my own different processing of the comments, but I feel like perhaps there is an invitation embedded within them now. Are they looking for help or reassurance or both?

I’m not sure that there is much I can do in these situations. For me, prior to when I started this five months ago, the thought of having someone offer to assist me in starting on a weight loss journey probably would have sent me straight to the cookie jar – if not right away, at least after a few days of ‘being good’ had taken their toll. I am not positive that changing one’s lifestyle is something a person can do unless they are completely ready, and I am even less certain about the likelihood of success if they are prodded into it by a well-intentioned friend.

I would certainly assist in any way I could if I was asked, and I don’t think that I would have any issues with pointing out where loved ones were faltering if it were seriously damaging them. However, I believe that discovering a true desire to change habits has to come from within, not from someone who may or may not be correctly picking up on hints to help out.

Besides, I don’t think my friends have much to complain about in the first place. I am still at a point where I look forward to having the type of body they are so fed up with!

Beauty Is Truth

I discovered today that I am the happy recipient of the Beautiful Blogger Award! Both Jenn at Watch My Butt Shrink and Beckie at Confessions Of A “Pleasingly Plump” Single Mommie!!! have bestowed this nifty accolade unto me and I couldn’t be more honoured! I am always so touched when someone decides that this blog is worth recognizing and I can’t thank you two ladies enough!

As is the norm with these fun badges, I get the added pleasure of passing it onto a few other bloggers – in this case, I am able to name seven sensational scribes. There are, of course, many more I would love to note, but I will stick with the guidelines of this award for today. Congratulations to the following:

1. K. at *Fitcetera*
2. L. at 100in12
3. Tammy at From Fat To Fab
4. Jack at Jack Sh*t, Getting’ Fit
5. Lainey at Shrink
6. Sheilagh at Sixty By Sixty Was The Plan…
7. Sean at The Daily Diary Of A Winning Loser

There is one other bit of amusement that accompanies the receipt of this award. I am to write seven true things about myself that people do not already know. Well, I’m fairly certain no one has heard me go on about these random facts, so hopefully they suffice!

1. I currently have five piercings, but I used to have one more.
2. In the room I am in right now there is - amongst many other items - a yellow and red fuzzy puppet, numerous massage oils, several strings of Christmas lights, eleven rolls of pennies, and a bodhran.
3. One of my biggest dreams is to publish a book.
4. I absolutely love citrus scents and enjoy most of the spicy ones too, but I am not a big fan of many floral or woodsy fragrances.
5. I’m pretty good at tongue twisters.
6. I have a tattoo.
7. The wanderlust that I have is a very intricate part of me, challenged only by my innate desire for developing deep roots.

- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 homemade lavender shortbread cookie
- 1 blood orange
- 1 1/4 cups low fat pumpkin pudding
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter
- 2 cups Caesar salad with chopped deli chicken breast, Parmesan cheese, croutons, pomegranate arils, and fat free dressing
- 5 whole wheat crackers

- 50 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Mission Impossible?

MizFit has an excellent post on her site from yesterday. She invites the reader to pick a one of two word phrase that best explains the manner in which they hope for their year to be defined. I found this incredibly thought-provoking and - to keep my motivation high both for this journey and for the countless future ones I will face over the next twelve months - I wanted to record here what I already wrote in a comment on her post. My words would be:


I am the individual who always manages to find a way to do what most people deem impossible. I am the one who believes that there is a way to accomplish any goal and who eventually makes things happen when everyone else doubts. Ultimately, despite the prevalent attitude of disbelief that others have, I am the possibility itself.

Just Checking In As I Head Out

I'm a bit busy today. There's nothing too specific; I just have a lot of little errands to run and quite a few things to do around the house. I am about to head out for a walk so that I can cross a few chores of my list while getting in some exercise at the same time. I never hurts to multitask.

Dancing The Night Away

I realized today that I forgot to mention that I have signed up for a Belly Dancing For Fitness class. I am still someone who generally prefers to not have their workouts become reliant on gyms, scheduled courses, or trainers / exercise buddies, but I am actually really looking forward to this. It is something that I have long thought about taking and when a friend expressed interest I jumped all over it. Unfortunately, she is now unable to make any of the classes work with her schedule so I am flying solo, yet I am still pleased that thinking we could do it together at first gave me the push I needed to find a program that would work for me. The bonus is that this particular class is a lot cheaper than any of the other courses I have seen offered! It starts next week so I am sure I will be writing about it once I have attended the first session. It should be fun!

I also got to get a few dance moves in tonight! I went to a concert that one of my gal pals scored free tickets to and had a great time out with a group of friends. Of course, it was impossible to stay in my seat a few times when the songs I love started up, so I’m sure I burned a few extra calories this evening as I grooved away while the music played. Another bonus: I dressed for the concert in a shirt that I haven’t been able to get into for over five years!

- 7 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1/3 cup sauteed and seasoned mushrooms
- 3 ounces of a rare steak
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1/2 cup pomegranate arils
- 6 inch sub on a whole wheat bun with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 mug of gingerbread steamed soy milk
- 2 Melba toast crackers
- 2 cups Caesar salad with croutons, pomegranate arils, and fat free dressing

- 1 hour and 50 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings ( 40 minutes long and 1 hour and 10 minutes long)
- 25 minute workout video

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Better And Better

I think I am finally getting over the last remnants of this cold. My mother told me something the other day that amused me: Apparently the old saying goes, “If you treat a cold it only lasts for seven days; if you don’t it lasts for a week.” Thanks, Mom!

I finally got my rings resized. I went from them being way too loose at a size seven to them being just a tiny bit tight as a five and a half. I think my fingers must have been cold when I tried on the sizers because my rings are very slightly snug now that I have them back. They are not too tight though and they don’t cut off my circulation in any way. I think that as I lose a bit more weight it is likely that they will end up fitting perfectly so I am happy. Regardless, at least now I don’t have to worry about them slipping off my finger in the shower or flying away from my hand if I reach out for something too quickly.

I purchased a matching yoga mat and water bottle recently. I’m not actually planning on doing any yoga anytime in the near future, but I figured that I could use it for when I am on the floor doing weight training or abdominal work. Plus, the designs on them are pretty!

One cool thing that I noticed a couple of days ago was from when I was out to coffee with a friend. I arrived at the shop before she did, ordered a water and a breakfast sandwich, and greeted her when she soon arrived. Well, over an hour and a half later as we left the coffeehouse it occurred to me that I had not even thought once about ordering something else. In that situation in the past I would have gone back to the counter at least one time to pick out some other treat. This particular establishment was even one that is known for their baked goods which is a weakness of mine. I was really pleased when I recognized that it had not even occurred to me to order something else. Visiting doesn’t always have to center around food and I think I am finally beginning to take that message on board in a very real way.

Super Supper

I went out to eat dinner at a really nice restaurant with my husband this evening. It was a way to celebrate how far I have come on this journey up to this point and it was wonderful to spend time with him in such a great atmosphere. We got gift certificates a short while ago so I knew that this was the plan for tonight, and I ate very light in the earlier part of the day to try and even out a little more on the calories as a whole.

I didn’t deny myself anything that I really wanted, so I would say that there was limited indulging this evening. There was also a bit of sampling, although I know that is better than just shoving forkful after forkful into my mouth. I only drank water and ordered a desert to share with my hubby – then I only had two bites of that as well as the bits of fruit that were on the plate as garnish.

My appetizer and meal were fabulous. I did find myself announcing to my man halfway through my entrée that I was full but determined to finish the rest of the steak and mushrooms, but he kindly reminded me that I didn’t have to do that and that I could take it home and have it tomorrow. Simple, supportive words, but very effective. Thank goodness for that guy! I asked for the rest to be packed up.

It’s nice to know that I am able to indulge just a little. In the past, this dinner would have been an opportunity to stuff myself until I couldn’t move. I am definitely fuller than normal – I would even say I feel a bit bloated – but it is nowhere even close to how I would have felt before. I am so happy that I am able to enjoy special foods with moderation now and not feel deprived. I couldn’t ask for a sweeter treat after such a nice meal.

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 cup cherry tomatoes and yellow pepper with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing
- 3 whole wheat crackers
- 2 small wedges of sourdough bread with basil butter
- 1 portebella mushroom topped with shrimp and crab
- 1 yam fry dipped in a spicy mayonnaise sauce
- 1 grilled jumbo shrimp
- 1 bite of garlic mashed potatoes
- 4 ounces of a rare steak
- 1 cup sauteed and seasoned mushrooms
- 1 1/2 cups steamed green beans
- 1 gooseberry
- 1 strawberry with chocolate sauce
- 2 bites of crème brulee

- 50 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Monday, January 11, 2010


Planks. May. Kill. Me.

I was feeling pretty cocky yesterday when I finished Level 1 (of 3) of the 30 Day Shred. I pushed myself and felt like I totally conquered it by that tenth workout and I looked forward with great anticipation to seeing what Level 2 would bring. I am no longer feeling quite so eager.

Ugh! Seriously, what did I ever do to Jillian Michaels to make her hate me so much?

- 7 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 egg, spinach, and feta panini sandwich
- 6 large pieces of a sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 mug of peppermint steamed soy milk
- 1 sip of gingerbread steamed soy milk
- 3 cups Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese, croutons, pomegranate arils, and fat free dressing
- 5 whole wheat crackers

- 25 minute workout video

Sunday, January 10, 2010

When I Was Younger...

It was the mid-nineties and I was in my last year or two of high school. I remember asking one of my friends at lunch if she wanted to hang out after classes were finished. “I can’t, she said, “I’m going to the gym.”

“Why?!” I exclaimed, casting a critical eye over her body. She looked fine to me and, at that time, I couldn’t fathom wanting to workout simply for the sake of being active. But she filled me in on the fact that she wanted to lose weight and when I pressed – again, not understanding what flaws she saw in her body – she finally gave in and told me that she weighed somewhere around 190 pounds.

I didn’t believe it! Not for a second did I think she could be that heavy. She looked like me, for goodness sake! She invited me to come along so that she could prove it on the scale at the gym and I accepted. I was sure she was exaggerating.

We met up after school and headed straight to our destination. We arrived, she kicked off her shoes, and proceeded to step onto the scale. She was right, and I was suddenly in a state of complete disbelief. That’s when it dawned on me… I took off my shoes and climbed on.


I will never forget that number.


That was the very first time that I realized I was overweight. Ever.

Somehow, I was one of the fortunate few for whom body image had not been an issue during their adolescent years. Let me rephrase that. Somehow, I was one of the ones for whom the mixed blessing that is ignorance of body image was a reality.

The only other weight that I can specifically recall from when I was a teenager was 109, and that was when I still had an inch left to grow and had just been diagnosed with iron deficiency anemia. From 109 to 181: more than seventy pounds had found their way onto my body and I hadn’t noticed.

I am thankful, in a way, that I had all those years of blissful naiveté. I know I probably had a bout here or there with not liking the way I looked, and I do remember purchasing the occasional health magazine to help me learn how to tone up, but somehow I missed being really hateful of my body during my formative teenage years. It is fortunate, I know, but there was also a very serious downside.

My ignorance led to utter complacency. I had no idea that I was putting on weight because I never, ever climbed on a scale nor even took stock of what size clothes I was wearing. I was completely unconcerned with what shape my body was in and, accordingly, I became an overweight girl without even knowing it. I carried on for years inadvertently developing bad habits that would eventually prove to take over a decade and a half to break.

I know I started working out then and I am sure I lost some of the weight, but I don’t remember the specifics at all. Whatever pounds I may have dropped were assuredly gained back shortly after that first stint of attempted weight loss. I am positive that I weighed more when I graduated.

One thing that I do know for sure is that I weigh less today than when I first discovered that I had a weight problem. This is the second lowest amount that I can recall ever being, and I have no intention of regaining my anemic, underweight 109 pound status. This is all new. This is all unknown.


I will still never, ever forget that number.

Primal Tendencies Realized In The Night


That was the sound coming from a car filled with twenty-year old males as they drove past where I stood alone on a corner, returning home from a lengthy walk this evening. I’m pretty sure I heard a soft, “woooo,” coming from inside the vehicle too, although the guy in the backseat with his head out the window was so loud it was hard to tell if the inarticulate cajoling was from two or three individuals.

I’m pretty confident that these were approving sounds. I believe they were something akin to a more typical, “woo hoo,” or perhaps an old fashioned, “hubba hubba”. The vocalizations from today were simply executed with a little more monkey-man coming through than I have ever heard in the past. It really was very sweet of the primitive creatures to try and communicate their appreciation for my new form though, don’t you think?

- 11 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted sourdough English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup vanilla almond Oatmeal Crisp cereal
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, iceberg lettuce, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 1/2 cups yellow pepper, cherry tomatoes, and mushrooms with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing

- 1 hour and 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 45 minutes long)
- 25 minute workout video

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Weigh-In For Week 22

This week has been a bit of a hard one mentally. As I have written before, I tend to weigh myself daily in an effort to stay on top of where I am on a very regular basis. It helps me to gather information on what different foods and activities tend to translate to on the scale and to understand the patterns that I see in a typical week or month. I know this practice is not for everyone – I am generally very good about separating myself emotionally from what the numbers say – but it has worked very well for me for nearly five months now. Well, this week was no different in that I used those daily check-ins as simply a way to track my progress, but it was unique in that I was constantly seeing a number higher than my last official weigh-in from January 2nd.

One of the patterns that I have noticed is that I tend to have low weigh-in days. What I mean is that when I step on the scale each Saturday it generally shows a number that I am pleased with, but then on Sunday I find that it is up a little bit, regardless of how carefully I stick to plan. Monday and even Tuesday are often still slightly up from that official weigh-in, and then by Wednesday I start to see more of a continued downward trend on the scale. This just happens to be what my body does and I am fine with that; it has been working for me and I see no reason to stress out when only the Saturday number is the one that actually counts.

However, this past Tuesday saw my very first reversion to old habits. I was drained from the cold I have, and in dire need of comfort, so I caved and ate a lot of things that have no real business being listed on a blog that claims to be aiming for health. I am not perfect and I am totally fine with the fact that I made a decision that slowed my progress. I accepted a long time ago that there would be slip-ups along the way and my goal of sustainability is far more important than any one overindulgent moment.

Wednesday morning I was back at it full force and even upped my work-out times in an attempt to remove the two pound gain I had from that binging episode. I put more energy into my activities too and was very diligent about eating properly, even though for a couple of days I was not very hungry and had to force myself to consume what I did.

So my point to all this is that my weigh-ins for the last week looked something like the following:

Saturday, January 2 – 181.2
Sunday, January 3 – 181.8
Monday, January 4 – 181.6
Tuesday, January 5 – 181.4
Wednesday, January 6 – 183.4
Thursday, January 7 – 182.2
Friday, January 8 – 181.4

Every day has been higher than last Saturday’s number and I wasn’t completely convinced that I would be able to claim a loss for today. I prepared myself throughout the second half of the week for the very real possibility of a gain and was honestly ready to be okay with that outcome. Ideal? No. But, it was a consequence that I knew I could live with because I accepted that I had made a poor choice with my Tuesday eating and that I had also done everything I could to rectify the results of that incident.

So, regardless of the fact that today I stepped on the scale to see 179.8, showing a 1.4 pound drop since my last official weigh-in, I am taking a lot more from this loss than just a scale victory. This week the number was not nearly so gratifying as the process that I had to go through to be more at peace with myself.

I proved that there will be days where I don’t get it ‘right’. I know now, with certainty, that those days do not have to mean that I have failed and do not need to lead to me giving up for the rest of the week. I have shown, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is possible to fix mistakes through hard work and determination and that those qualities do, indeed, reside within me. I was prepared to face a gain with grace and, though I didn’t need to, I am proud that I am working successfully towards a healthier outlook on this voyage as a whole.

This week was a big bump in the road for me. Fortunately, I learned that there are always alternatives to just giving up on a periodically rough journey. Of course you can just sit in your seat, slumped over the steering column, and wait for a rescue that may never come. But what about the other possibilities? You can look at the map and reassess either your route or your destination. You can think about how far you have come and decide if going back is an option. You can steel your determination and take the wheel and face those bumps with the knowledge that some of them may sideline you temporarily again, but that where you are going is worth the effort. And sometimes – yes, sometimes – even though you are exhausted and so close to just giving up, you can haul yourself out of your seat, grit your teeth, and push.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

I uploaded several photographs onto my social network page yesterday. They were just a few pictures from the last six months or so that highlighted what I’ve been up to lately, but as I was finishing I realized something really odd.

I didn’t put up a single photo that significantly showed my weight loss. Not one. The closest I came was a cropped picture of my husband and I which shows that my face looks thinner.

Why did I do that? More importantly, why – when I realized what I had done – did I not add other pictures to better show the changes I have gone through? I’m not sure that I have a complete answer.

I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that there are a few people that I haven’t seen in quite a while. I have friends, and even family, who are not in the know about the healthier choices I have been making. Also, a few have heard about what I have been doing, but have yet to see the visual evidence of my efforts. I suppose a big part of my answer to the questions I am posing is that I want to save my ‘wow’ reactions and savour them as they come naturally. I don’t want to dilute the responses that I am guessing those far-away and not-often-seen people may have regarding my loss.

Then there is the more morose reason that I suspect I also have for holding back the more telling photographs. I do not want to deal with those individuals who are not really in my life – most of us have those high school buddies and old work colleagues we are ‘friends’ with on these sites – suddenly commenting on or questioning me about the weight I have lost. Maybe I am being silly or sensitive or likely giving myself way too much credit for assuming I am that interesting, but I just don’t want to answer to people who are not involved in my life on a regular basis.

It was certainly intriguing when I figured out that I had edited my pictures so specifically without even initially realizing it. This whole journey is so much more than simply losing weight. I have discovered a lot about myself over these past five months and much of it has little to do with my physical health, although most of it does directly relate to me becoming healthier in an ever-changing, yet ever-lasting, way.

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 1 wrap on a soft pesto tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 1/2 cups celery with calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt
- 2 cups spinach salad with grated cheese, croutons, pomegranate arils, mushroom, and Greek feta and oregano dressing

- 1 hour and 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (35 minutes long and 55 minutes long)
- 25 minute workout video

Friday, January 8, 2010

Chugging Along

This is pretty much the first time I've had to sit at the computer all day. I may still be sick, but apparently the world doesn't grind to a halt just because I want to take it easy.

It's been a decent day so far. The food is on track and I managed to finally find a pair of exercise pants that will do the trick. At least now I have something that won't start to fall down if I opt to do jumping jacks!

The exercise has not happened yet, and since it is pouring rain I am not sure if the nice long walk I was planning on doing tonight will take place. I may just decide to don my new winter jacket, hike up the hood, and brave the elements anyhow, but that still remains to be seen at this point.

Shiny And New

I am feeling a lot more chipper than I was earlier. I’m not sure why, but I am not really questioning it either. I like being happy, so why complain?

I tried pomegranate arils for the very first time today! Yum, yum! Why have I never had these before? Texture wise, they are a little harder than I had thought they would be (they do contain seeds, after all), but they had a lovely grape-like coating that I really enjoyed. I will definitely be buying these in the future so thanks to everyone who keeps on mentioning them in their blogs… I finally took the advice and tried them and am so glad I did!

Oh, and I found a muscle this evening! I have always had fairly decent biceps, even if they were covered over by layers of fat, but tonight I discovered something new. Apparently I am developing the muscles that run from the tops of my shoulders to the middle of my upper arms. Are those my deltoids? I’m not even sure what I’ve been doing differently that might be sculpting them apart from the fact that I am about a quarter of the way through the 30 Day Shred. I’m more than happy to take the improvement though!

- 7 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft pesto tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 cups chicken noodle soup
- 1 cup Apple Jacks cereal with 1/2 cup 1% milk
- 2 cups spinach salad with 1 crumpled wedge of light Laughing Cow, croutons, pomegranate arils, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing

- 1 hour and 25 minute walk
- 25 minute workout video

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Still Have A Cold, But Now I'll Be Warm

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I definitely wasn't feeling it! I did, however, manage to finally find a passable jacket at a second-hand store. It's nothing like what I would normally pay money for but it was only $10. My only requirements were that it had to have a good hood, be thick enough to provide adequate warmth, not cost over $50, and not be completely fugly. Seriously, why did it take me so long to find something that matched my criteria? I don't think I'm that picky.

I was still not in the best of moods when I returned home. The cold I have been fighting these past few days seemed to be retreating last night, but decided to make a big show of its last stand as of this morning. I just want to be well! I opted to crawl back into bed for a short nap and that seemed to help. I am not feeling quite so moody since I woke up again. I really hope this passes soon! I am sick of being sick!!!

Watching Paint Dry Would Be More Exciting Than This

They took away my clothes today. All the items I packed up a couple of days ago were on their way to a charity as of this afternoon. It’s weird to think that I am now rid of all the things that didn’t fit… there’s no turning back now.

My day has been okay. I am feeling a bit emotional. I am still having a lot of trouble finding an affordable winter coat and new exercise pants. Everything costs so much and I just don’t want to fork out the money when I know that I will only be wearing what I buy for a short time before I am too small to make it work anymore. Positive thinking at its best, but it’s still leaving me frustrated.

I forced myself to eat what I did today. I just was not hungry at all. I guess consuming all the random things that I did yesterday threw my body for a loop.

I wish I had more exciting stuff to talk about, but that’s all I’ve got. Maybe tomorrow I will have tales of musical ninja aliens to report, but this was just a low key, boring kind of day.

- 8 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft pesto tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 2 egg omelet with cheese, cherry tomatoes, onion, and pepper
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 cups celery with tzatziki yogurt dressing and calorie-wise three cheese ranch dressing

- 2 hour walk
- 25 minute workout video

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I feel positively ill. And, no, it’s not because of me being sick. I feel like this because my body is no longer used to all the crap that I stuffed it with yesterday.

I feel slightly nauseous and my stomach is very rumbly. My energy is even lower than it was before I decided to cram all that food into my mouth. My tummy is even slightly distended and I have made the likelihood of a gain on the scale on Saturday almost a guarantee.

I am thinking positively, believe it or not. I was never aiming for perfection – who on Earth can live up to that?! – so I’m not going to count this as a failure. As long as I can learn from this experience I am actually further ahead in a way than I was before it happened. Hence, why I am making sure I record the horrible way I am feeling right now. Hopefully future potential episodes can be averted by looking back on this post and seeing how awful that amount of those types of foods make me feel.

I am sending all of the leftover snacky things that I bought yesterday into work with my husband. I am not craving them anymore, but I also don’t want to end up tempted by keeping them in the house. It’s time to get back to the new lifestyle I have worked so hard to create.

As a side note, I think it’s pretty funny that one of the definitions of ‘repercussion’ is ‘the state of being driven back by a resisting body’. I think that right now my own body is being pretty overt in its resistance to what I ate yesterday. It serves me right for serving me wrong!

Would You Like A Side Of Epic With That Fail?

Ask me how tempted I was to just skip posting my food today. On second thought, don’t ask; I’m pretty sure anyone could figure it out with just a glance at the list.

Apparently my Achilles’ heel is being sick. The desire to have comfort food while feeling as crummy as I do was just too much for me to handle. I made it through about half of the day without doing too badly, but then I knew the fight was over when I caught myself thinking about how I would justify on this blog the choices that I was going to be making.

I am able to put a little bit of a positive spin on the whole experience. First, when I finally made the decision to eat the foods I was craving I did so for two genuinely good reasons. I have heard time and time again that denying yourself whatever you are really wanting will often lead to consuming even more calories in the pursuit to divert than you would have had if the initial craving had simply been satisfied. Obviously I would prefer to avoid that. Plus, I have never thought of this new lifestyle as one that deprives me of anything. If I start making any foods completely off limits, then I am basically implementing the all or nothing attitude that only created frustration and led me to put on more weight in the past. Again, this is something I need to be wary of.

Furthermore, I did put forth some effort into limiting my portions. Prior to starting this journey I would have eaten the entire tube of potato chips, the whole box of cookies, and pilfered many more chocolates. I probably would have bought a large bag of candy, some caramel popcorn, and a two-liter of root beer and polished that all off too. This time, I checked the nutritional information prior to eating so that it was at least in my head beforehand, and I was very conscious of every bite. I took smaller portions only and walked away to eat so that I could assess in between helpings if I wanted more rather than sitting there with the entire package in my lap as I used to.

Does this sound like I am justifying? I’m not sure.

Overall, I certainly can’t claim that I am proud of the way I ate today. I know I caved. It was not a great moment in this journey. However, I also know that it does not mean that I have actually failed nor that I can’t start doing better again from this precise moment. I will keep at this and just hope that the cravings brought on by my being sick are finally satisfied.

- 8 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 cups chicken noodle soup
- 1 grilled cheese sandwich on whole wheat bread with cheese, fat free Miracle Whip, and margarine
- 2 chocolates
- 1 mug caramel apple spice drink
- 2 sandwiches on white onion buns with cheese slices, fat free Miracle Whip, and margarine
- 12 potato chips
- 2 cheese slices
- 1 mug of decaffeinated tea with milk and honey
- 5 lemon cream cookies

- 25 minute workout video
- 15 minute walk

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Down, But Not Out

My energy levels are low at best because of this cold, but I am going to try and do a workout right now anyhow. I can easily alter the moves to suit how I am feeling and put in whatever 100% looks like for me today (which, I’m guessing, is somewhere around the 50% mark from any other day). I’m just trying to keep at it and stay committed. I will probably attempt to comfort myself with some nice, hot soup afterwards…


Ugh! I have been trying to fool myself all day, but there is no denying it… I am sick. I spent all of yesterday and today trying to half ignore it and half fight it off, but I guess I have to finally face the truth.

I absolutely hate being sick. I hate how run down I get and how irritated I can feel. I despise the aches and pains that go along with an illness and I really don’t like the way it takes me out of commission for accomplishing the things I need to do.

In all fairness, this is not a really bad sickness. I would wager it is far more likely to be a cold than a nasty flu. However, I still have a general sense of ickiness about me that I can’t wait to shake off. Being forced to pause by forces out of your control sucks, especially when you feel as geared up to go full out at getting things done as I do right now.

I wish I could just be better and not have to play the waiting game with this that I know is necessary. I know I’m whining a bit here, but I really do not want to be sick! I want to be well enough to go for long walks and give my full energy to more active workouts. I don’t want to feel like I am at the mercy of the food cravings that seem to accompany being ill as a means of seeking comfort. I don’t want to slow down!

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 wrap on a soft pesto tortilla shell with deli chicken breast, grated cheese, spinach, dried cranberries, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 cup of honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 banana
- 1 1/2 cups movie popcorn with butter
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 cups spinach salad with croutons, orange pepper, mushroom, dried cranberries, and calorie-wise Greek feta and oregano dressing
- 1 homemade lavender shortbread cookie

- 25 minute workout video