I had a not-so-proud moment intermixed with a really insightful one a few hours ago. I was out with my husband and asked him to go through the drive-thru of the fast food chain that has been taking my money in trade for their addictive ice cream blends of late. He obliged, but on the way made a comment along the lines of how he was surprised that I wanted something as we had only recently had supper. My reply?
“I’m not hungry, I just… would like it.”
I couldn’t even finish the sentence without faltering. I knew before the words were even completely out of my mouth that I had just unveiled a major problem.
I would love to report that I had the strength to reprimand myself into turning around and avoiding the treat. I wish I was able to write about how I stopped and made that moment into something different - something more inspiring. But, I can’t. I indulged. I own it.
What I will say is that it really was eye-opening. I am out all day tomorrow at a regatta and I have already packed a healthy lunch and snacks in preparation for it. I went for a long time while I was losing the weight eating mostly just to fuel myself. But somewhere along the way these past couple of months I have reverted to consuming things for the sake of comforting tastes, to get a sugar fix, and so that I am eating what I want as opposed to what I need. That must stop.
I know what I’m really hungry for.
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 small mug hot chocolate
- 1 banana
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli turkey, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 1/4 cup sweet trail mix
- 3 pieces of a Rice Krispie treat square
- 3 bites grated cheese
- 2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 1/2 cups fat free chocolate fudge brownie ice cream with butterscotch chips
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 20 minute walk