Tit For Tat

I know that things have a way of evening out – that when you give something up you often receive something in return, that when one door closes another one opens, and so on. Such is life.

Regardless of this knowledge, I was sad when I realized that my rather generous bust line was quickly shrinking as I lost weight. I have always thought of myself as well-proportioned and I still do; as that one part of me has dropped in size so has everything else and I know that I am lucky to be able to say that. Nevertheless, my large chest was something that I had somehow grown strangely proud of in my obese state, and it was with grim downward glances that I watched that area get smaller and smaller over these past eleven and a half months. I think that many bigger women develop an attachment to their curves, and I was certainly one with such adoration for the more voluptuous parts of my figure.

But here’s where I recognize that, yet again, life has a way of providing balance. Now… I just don’t miss them like I thought I would. There are so many positives which I have gained from having smaller band and cups sizes that I don’t often think anymore about the few things I have lost.

I can go bra shopping… anywhere! I went on such an outing with a good friend just last week and I was able to try on just about everything that I wanted. I have never been able to do that! And they were pretty too! I didn’t have to limit myself to a tiny selection from a specialty shop or the plus-sized options in a department store because that was all that would fit me. I was able to walk amongst rows and rows of brassieres and pick and choose whatever colour, whatever style, and whatever beautiful details I wanted. That felt so great! And as an added bonus, like I mentioned, I was able to do all of that with someone. Again, I would never have been able to do something like that in the past, but now I feel like I am no longer missing out on that specific type of bonding that happens when friends go shopping together!

I know I wrote a short while ago that I am thrilled to finally be able to wear under wire again as opposed to just the sports bras I was donning for far too long. On top of that, I used to feel like they were a great weight, which I am sure they actually were. There were many times that I was seated when I felt as though my breasts sat heavily on top of my stomach. And they often weighed so greatly over my lungs that I am fairly certain that it was to the impediment of my breathing. When I laid down to sleep, I even had to shift around quite a bit to avoid a choking sensation, such was the mass of flesh beneath my neck.

So while I do occasionally miss the satisfaction that somehow accompanied having a generous bust, and although a part of my identity as a full-figured woman is now behind me, I know I have given up just as many negatives as positives. I am sure that what I have gained equals or exceeds that which I have lost. And I am confident that regardless of what the tag on my bra says that I will always be someone who appreciates the way that things even out in the end.