Thursday, November 11, 2010

Holiday Happenings

I got some early Christmas shopping done today which felt good. Even though my official exercise was once more virtually non-existent, at least I was active. Checking things off my ‘to do’ list while doing a lot of walking is a win-win in my book!

- 3 glasses of water
- 4 slices of multigrain cranberry toast with margarine
- 3/4 cup field berry yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, and mayonnaise
- 1 slice pumpkin fudge
- 1 small peanut butter chocolate bar
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

- 10 squats


  1. Hello "266",

    I just started my weight loss journey a few months ago.

    If you don't feel comfortable answering these questions (none of my business!) I understand.

    Have you stopped your weekly weigh-in?

    Have you lost so much weight you're trying to gain it now?

    I'm confused by your list of food and beverages...

  2. hahaha. Anonymous that comment was just too funny. Realy. I hope that wasn't your version of the tactful, indirect approach because it was really the passive-aggressive spiteful approach.

    Ignore it, 266, if anonymous really wants answers let her ask real questions and sign a name so we can visit her blog to see how she's doing, too.


  3. My heart is breaking for you. Why not set a goal for yourself to run another 5K? Pick one coming up and keep your eyes on that goal and really train for it. I find that when I'm exercising regularly that my eating automatically improves. I haven't been to the gym hardly at all this week and my eating has been in the toilet. They really are connected. A few squats or a short walk really isn't enough to get those endorphins pumping through your system. Get out there, girl! Go SWEAT!!!

  4. Pilate said..What is truth? before he handed Jesus over to be crucified..Jesus is truth..the truth makes you free...The KISSES of and enemy are deceitful but the WOUNDS of a friend can be's that for truth. A true friend calls one into account, in love, so that he can be healed..a true friend does not sugar coat it and say your doing a good job. 266 is not doing a good job. you know it and so does she. if you really want to help honest with her.

  5. I have to admire your spunk at continuing despite the nasty comments. Is there a way to turn off the comments? I know I would!

  6. Jessica has shown herself to be a friend to 266! Thanks Jessica.

  7. I'm the first anonymous poster above and my questions were sincere.

    As I mentioned I just started trying to lose weight and the before and after pictures and the youtube video are very inspiring!

    I apologize for not phrasing my questions better, but they were "real" questions.

  8. try setting up a goal for yourself of having one day of really good eating. plan it so that your meals are simple to make, and delicious. make sure to incorporate whole grains, protein, and lots of fruits and veggies. at the end of the day, assuming it goes well, sit down and think about how you/your body feels, as opposed to how you have been feeling recently. could be good motivation to really commit to a more healthful diet.
    not sure if that'll really work, but it seems like it might be helpful? it appears you've been off track lately and this could be a little reminder of how good it feels to be eating healthy and energizing foods. good luck to you!

  9. I am beginning to wonder if this is all a big, experiment, for some kind of "study" or article you are writing. The direction the blog, the eating and exercising and commenting has taken is very strange.

  10. Just eat less and exercise more. Really, it couldn't be simpler, right? So why don't we all do that?

    *head desk*

    Do the commenters really think that friendly suggestions to 266 will help her diet successfully again? Just do this. Just do that. Or that kicks in the proverbial pants will get her to return to effective dieting behaviors?

    OMG. 266 is obviously an intelligent, lovely, well educated, active, personable, caring, responsible woman. She KNOWS what WOULD work if she COULD make herself do those things. KNOWING does not help. Education does not help. Nagging does not help. Guilt and shame do not help. Sadness does not help. Internal confusion about what is happening does not help. Caring and wishing and crying does not help.

    Look at the statistics on dieting. People seem to be able to lose weight quite readily, especially the first time or two when they manage to do it. Losing it, and then preventing a regain, are two completely different processes. Vast success with the former shows almost no correlation with the latter, except that the former is a pre-requisite for the latter, in the teeny tiny percentage of people who maintain a significant loss (such as 100 lbs!)

    Everyone believes that THEY will be the magical exception. Somehow, *I* will find the secret key to long-term maintenance if I just learn the right lessons, do the right things, read the right books, follow the right advice, eat the right foods, exercise the right way, adopt the right attitude...

    And when one does manage to lose the weight, one creates a story about how one was able to do it this time (YAY!), what was different about THIS journey, what was learned, what wonderful improvements occured, what new satisfactions make the effort all worth while, what amazing insights were required and discovered along the way...

    Later, there is an equally compelling story to accompany the regain. Life events became too stressful, being thin felt so vulnerable, the achievement was taken for granted, the partner sabotaged, depression ensued, poor choices piled up, exercise fell by the wayside...

    Ah, the stories, all the lovely stories.

    In truth, none of us has a clue as to why or how, sometimes, very rarely, a dieter does not return to previous patterns. We don't understand what allows that tiny minority to succeed, although THEY think they know and can SHARE it with others! We don't know how many among that tiny minority are actually happier or healthier, either.

    We are just so SURE we will be that ONE, that happy healthy changed-forever person who does not regain. And when reality turns out differently? We try to figure it all out, we blame ourselves, we feel stupid, and weak, and shameful.

    Tragic. Someday scientists will understand all this. Until then, what a strange use of human life and talent. What a beautiful, awful drama.


  11. omg dawne, i have been wondering the same thing!

  12. Robin, the answer to all your drama..sin.

  13. Php 3:19 Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)
    Whose God is their belly. They minded nothing but their sensual appetites. A wretched idol it is, and a scandal for any, but especially for Christians, to sacrifice the favour of God, the peace of their conscience, and their eternal happiness to it. Gluttons and drunkards make a god of their belly, and all their care is to please it and make provision for it.

  14. Robin, there are answers. You are simply not ready to accept them. I would suggest reading the book "smart talk for reaching your potential" by Lou Tice. It's not touchy feely, it's not scientific, its not a feel good, fuzzy bunnies book. It's a book about how our brain reacts to reality and how our own self talk helps form our reality.
    Using the excuse that "we just don't know how it works, so why bother trying" is simply a blanket under which to hide. It's the reason you give yourself for not having to work hard, for not having to care about your health. Its an excuse to give up on yourself.
    Why bother when it doesn't matter in the long run, right? You're destined to be fat and unhealthy so why should you even try?
    I don't accept that. THAT'S not good enough for me. I deserve more. So does 266 ~ she just doesn't see it yet. We're here supporting here and trying to get her back to the mental place that she once enjoyed.
    I watched the anniversary video again this morning and she looked so HAPPY in every one of those pictures ~ even the before pictures. But now, her posts do not reflect that happiness. I'm not sure what changed with her, but I hope to let her know that there are people out here that believe she's worth it, even if she doens't believe it right now.

  15. Jessica and 266,

    First, Jessica, you misquoted: "we just don't know how it works, so why bother trying"...but I did not write that.

    Second, you wrongly assume that I am currently fat or that I have not lost weight. Incorrect. I have lost 120 lbs. I did not have surgery. I did it by eating less and moving more. I stay on a diet and exercise every day. It's that *simple*. And that statement says nothing of value to 266 or anyone else.

    Oh, I could make up a variety of interesting stories of personal triumph to explain how I did it. I could offer all kinds of provocative suggestions of so-called positive thinking. Just as you probably love to do. The stories would all be incidental, after-the-fact bullsh*t. The truth is: I cannot explain how or why I was able to eat less and move more when my previous efforts failed. It happened. It is happening today. I do not control it.

    There are no guarantees that I won't start eating more, moving less, and regaining. I am just enjoying today, this present moment, for whatever it brings.

    I'm encouraging 266 to live in the ever-present now, to love herself, and to savor every beautiful amazing moment that comes her way.


  16. Dawne, I have been thinking the same this a hoax??? What is going on here??? This is not the same "feeling" as before and definitely not the same responses.

  17. I wonder if 266 can even read the comments, there is nothing to suggest she does. No references, no response, no acknowledgment, no personal stories about how she is feeling... It is odd. This isn't a diary with a lock and key - a blog is meant to be interacted usually with likeminded people... Use it for personal growth sure, but this total zombie robotic posting with no insight is bizarre to me.... But I don't quite know how to change that or if it's even possible. I'm afraid I'm tuning out here a bit because without thought processes and feelings shared, it's a bit like a record playing over and over and skipping at the same point.

  18. Maybe 266 just can't bear to read any comments right now. Maybe she feels too embarassed or ashamed and the best she can do is post food and offer light banter. Still, if she was a friend in *real* life, I would check up on her. I would also see what her hubby has to say...

    I thought this blog was a hoax when she was losing all that weight, consistently week after week, while still eating so much! (Before she started exercising.) Then her video convinced me otherwise. But a lot can be done with photoshop!

    Now we're talking about her in the 3rd person, like she's not here. That's just weird.

  19. Dawne,

    I have wondered the same thing. As if she's going to jump out from behind a tree any day now, and yell, "gotcha!".

    I hope 266 is ok, really. I don't care what size/weight she is, but her eating of late seems like a cry for help. It is how I ate when I was depressed. After gaining 40 pounds in 3 months, I went to the doc to beg for help. She said the antidepressant dose would be right when the carb cravings went away. She was right. I hope 266 can soon break out of her sugar haze/craze.

    Be well, 266, and take care of yourself.

  20. You are right, we are "talking about her in the 3rd person, like she's not here." ... because she is not here. She totally out of control and writing down jibberish trying to justify herself. It's OK that she's struggling ... we all do, but she's not being honest with herself. I think if she needs to journal about her 10 squats and her ice cream then write it in a journal at home so she can review it. We don't really care! She totally playing with all of her readers ... no interaction with us anymore. Obviously, she's getting a kick out of all the negative comments. Total bull ... time to unfollow 266. You are NOT an inspiration anymore. You are a person who has lost a ton of weight and well on your weigh to gaining it all back. Your supporters will leave and follow someone who at least acknowledges the fact people are interested.

  21. @ Robin, I think you have made some very valid points about the weight loss process.

    The story of each person's weight loss is too specifically personal to them, to their life and their experiences to be of any real value to anyone else. Weight loss is as much a mental journey as a physical one. And if the reasons and causes of original weight gain are not addressed, they will return in times of stress or depression.

    Long term success comes from being constantly vigilant. From acknowledging that the equation of calories in must be less than calories out. Yet maintenance seems to be much more difficult than that basic math.
    Could it be as simple as not seeing a new number on the scale each week? Some find that lower number SO motivating as they lose and then suddenly, the goal is to keep the number the same. Not nearly so exciting. Where's the romance and drama?

    Perhaps a better goal during maintenance is to create different challenges, (as others have suggested) goals to gain strength or endurance, to enter new events or try new activities.

    I also wonder about 266. Not that this blog is fake.. but whether recording a food list and exercise log, as if on automatic pilot, is all she is capable of at the moment. Comparing her early entries to those we see now, it is almost as if a different person is posting. She no longer responds, does not share real details of her life or thoughts. Just constant comments saying she is tired, stressed, busy... She DOES sound depressed.

    I don't think anything we say here will "snap her out of it" depression does not work that way. Collectively, we have tried every approach possible and have received no feed-back to any of them. I think she is beyond what we can do for her here.

    I really hope that her beloved hubby is truly as supportive as she indicates. I believe she needs real-life help and if I could convince 266 of one thing, it would be to seek outside help. Therapy. 266 you are medicating with food that which needs a professional to help you resolve.

    I almost cannot bear to watch 266's slow decline and have an irrational fear that I will be pulled into her vortex of depression and disassociation.

    266 I wish you well in every sense of that word. I hope you are brave enough to seek the help you need.

    Love Fox

  22. Wow, what an interesting dialogue. I was thinking the same thing that this blog has taken an almost Hitchcockian tone - it's just plain "weird" everyone commenting and talking to someone who appears to be totally absent or unable to engage in any meaningful way.

    It's all very painful because I've been there before too and as "Fox" said so very well: "I almost cannot bear to watch 266's slow decline and have an irrational fear that I will be pulled into her vortex of depression and disassociation."

    But frankly, I find people's desperate attempts to help 266 to be encouraging and helpful to *me*. People have said things to her that I have needed to say to myself and seeing it played out here in this format, with her lack of engagement and other's strong belief in her, has been quite powerful. I've had this dynamic played out in my own life and it's incredible having it lived out here in this format.

    266, if you are reading this, and it seems unlikely, I hope that you find your way out of the food hell that you are in. I really do.

  23. The comments to this blog have become far, far more interesting than the blog itself. I agree with all of the observations from Robin, Fox, etc. The dynamic now revolves around all of our reactions to 266's current actions. What we're all doing right now is basically bearing witness. We're here aknowledging what is happening when she seems to be unable to. And that aknowledgement is colored by each of our personal histories. Some of us are afraid. Some of us are compassionate. Some of us are angry. But the intensity of the responses is absolutely facinating.
    266 - thank you for continuing to post. It's frankly been hard to watch, and I hope that you can wake up soon. I don't think you're reading these comments at all. I can't imagine that anyone reading these could fail to react in any way as you have done. But I wish you luck. Maybe when you are able to resurface you'll read these comments and feel how important you are to so many people.

  24. I too have been thinking that it seems strange that 266 would come so far, do so much, lose so much weight, and get so close to success only to do a full 180 as she seems to be doing. How do you spend an entire year dropping weight like crazy and then go right back into a habit of eating fudge, candy and McFlurry's on a daily basis. I'm more over weight than 266 ever was and I've never made a daily habit of eating the candies and things that she's been eating every single day now for awhile. Are these really the eating habits of someone who has experienced so much success or is this some kind of human reaction experiment? Why would someone who is so obviously slipping continue posting her food every day? She stopped posting her weight weeks ago so if she was really giving up why wouldn't she just stop blogging entirely? She could have ended her blog in August and it would have been considered a success, worthy of all the rewards it's received. I've started my own blog, just recently, and I'm going to do everything 266 did for her success but I refuse to fall into the trap she's creating for herself with chocolate covered marshmallow treats and daily ice cream blends. Really, two scoops every single day? I didn't even do that BEFORE I started trying to lose weight. It's just ... strange.