Something has been bothering me since last night. I was perusing the blogs that I frequent and came across a great post by Diane at Fit To The Finish on the importance of taking time out of your busy schedule on a regular basis to just do something for yourself. The article culminated in a seemingly simple question posed to the reader, asking what their favorite thing to do for themselves might be.
I had no answer.
I thought for quite a while about the query, trying to imagine what I enjoy doing when I am in need of a recharge. Eventually, working under the assumption that I was over-thinking the problem and missing some obvious solution, I turned to my husband and asked him his opinion on what I do for me. He, too, had to really think about it, and then he finally came up with and offered a response: helping others.
I honestly felt like crying. I know that I am not the type to generally put a lot of my own needs before the wishes of other people – that really doesn’t bother me. In fact, I like being that person. What shocked me though was the reality that I haven’t even remotely considered putting myself and my mental well-being first in a very long time. Somewhere along the way, I completely stopped thinking about what I need to keep going.
What do I do when I have to revitalize myself? Nothing, apart from pushing through! I just did this the other day! I feel like I never make the allowances for myself – regarding the downtime, the mistakes, and the luxury of taking it easy – that I do for others.
This whole topic has me very uneasy. I don’t like the thought that I have let the neglect of my own needs go so far. I shouldn’t have this much difficulty coming up with things that I do for myself in the promotion of my well-being and sense of self worth.
To be clear, I love my life! I have the best husband in the world and a good network of family and friends. I live in a country that provides me with more than I could ever ask for and I have a vast network of resources for just about anything I would ever need to explore. I get a lot of joy from the day to day bustle and I feel blessed and happy much, much more than frustrated and sad. Things are great!
But these types of introspective examinations often make me realize just how much more I need to learn and grow. When I look at where I fall on my list of priorities… well, I don’t even think I make the list. I totally forgot to put myself on the map when figuring out what has to happen to keep things running smoothly in my life.
I suspect the rest of today will be spent doing some soul searching. Either that or I’ll try to get some more items off my to do list, check in on some friends, research different workout options, run some errands, work on a couple homemade gifts, clean the house, bake for my husband’s co-workers, go grocery shopping, phone my parents, look for information on upcoming 5K’s, spend time with my better half, pick up some supplies, do the laundry…