Monday, February 22, 2010

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try, And Gain

I am up about a pound and a half from yesterday morning because of the food choices I made throughout my afternoon and evening downtown. The problem isn’t necessarily the decisions I made, but the fact that I don’t feel all that bad about them.

I tried. I mean I really put in a significant amount of effort into finding healthier options for the things that I was to eat prior to caving and actually consuming what I did. I fully admit that there are a few things I could have done better – aren’t there always – but, nevertheless, I stand by the fact that I really did genuinely try to choose more healthily than I ultimately did.

There are two parts to this little tale. First, when we were enjoying the sights of the city, I had a very intense craving come on just after lunch for dessert. I initially tried to ignore it; I thought that I could trick myself into forgetting about the sweetness I so wanted, but it just wouldn’t go away. So I informed my husband that I wanted to make a good choice about what type of dessert I would have rather than just flying off the handle and fully giving in to any ultra-gooey, -sugary, -fatty treat my mind could concoct. He understood and so we set off to find something that fit the bill.

We went into pretty much every single shop that sold desserts all up and down the main shopping strip, looked all through the mall, and even got in the car and drove out of the city centre to three different known dessert stores in an attempt to find a reduced fat or reduced calorie option. We spent over and hour and a half at this endeavor. Nothing. Nothing! Can you believe it!? I was so incredibly frustrated! I actually remember turning to my man at one point and questioning why the majority of society sees fit to tell people that they need to be slender to be deemed attractive, yet makes it so difficult to find a healthy alternative to sweet indulgences. I was utterly blown away by the impossibility of finding just a single substitute.

So, I went with the key lime cheesecake. Yup. I could have decided not to have anything, but I was afraid that would lead to a worse binge later on. I could have just had half the slice rather than devouring the whole thing, yet I kept bringing that fork up to my mouth. I probably could have even found a slightly better option than that particular dessert at the establishment I finally caved at, but the key lime flavour is one of my favorites and very hard to find and by that point I was so fed up with the situation that justifications kicked in resulting in the ultimate choice.

The other story from yesterday’s eating isn’t quite as exciting, but it is along the same lines. At the end of the night we met up with a group of friends and my brother and decided to go out to eat. I didn’t foresee any issues since I had not yet had dinner and I was confident that I could find a healthy option at whatever restaurant we went to. Can you see where this is going? I looked over that menu at least six times trying to find something that wasn’t deep fried, covered in sauce, or overflowing with the noodles I knew I couldn’t resist. Again, there was nothing. I opted for the healthiest item I could find: skewered chicken satay with peanut sauce on the side.

It was delicious, but I know the fat and sodium content was probably pretty astronomical. Yes, I could have portioned it out and eaten less, but by that point I was feeling the emotional toil of having put so much effort towards discovering better alternatives to no avail. You know, I should just face the facts: I wanted to eat it all so I did. Also, at the end of the meal the extremely friendly owner of the venue came over and generously poured each of us a shot of Grand Marnier. Of course I drank mine. It was a decision made in the moment, and if I regret it in the future so be it, yet I enjoyed the few seconds of shared jubilation brought on by the hospitality of the kind restaurant proprietor.

So, I wasn’t overly proud of what I consumed, but I also can’t really seem to beat myself up about it too much. I do feel like I put in more effort than I ever would have in the past to find the healthier options but they just weren’t available yesterday. Maybe it’s more justification, but if it is I think I am fine with that too. This is for life; it’s not a diet and it’s not about deprivation. Sometimes, life offers you cheesecake, and once in a while it hands you the fork too.

13 comments:

  1. Think "carb refeed." I think the key thing here is to relax and enjoy treat foods when you decide to include them. I hope you enjoyed your nice things. 100 pounds isn't going to come flying back overnight, right?

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  2. As I read the first few lines of your post I chuckled as it felt as though I was thinking out lout. I can relate. I admire you determination in driving 1.5 hours to find a low cal/reduced fat dessert. It's just not easy. This is for life. It's not a diet and sometimes, you're just going to indulge. I did tonight after a stressful day. I loaded up on veggies and water, some protein but indulged in 1 scoop of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. We win some, we lose some. We just gotta keep trying.

    Have a nice evening
    Paula

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  3. One thing that I have done is request that they just simply grill the chicken for me - ask for a small amount of dressing and eat it with a salad. Just because it isn't on the menu does not mean that they won't accommodate.

    Believe me, they want money -- they usually will help you out.

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  4. Don't you just hate it when Life hands you the fork? lol This was a good post girl. You're doing just fine. :)

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  5. I like the carb re-feed idea. I had a bad food week last week (and...for the first time in a LONG time...a no-exercise week).....but I had LOTS of energy on my run on Sunday. All that glycogen stored in every nook and cranny of my body.....was just begging to be used up. So...hey.....go shake your booty tomorrow and use up that stored carb-load! You might find you have more energy in your work-out! And..don't beat yourself up. Shit happens....and tomorrow is another day...and you will own it! :)

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  6. hey dude...this is exactly why I have a splurge day...so I can shovel it in and forget it.
    Make on e for you too...If you know you have one good evening coming up during the month...plan to enjoy and get back otk the next day. OR you will end up feeling stuck and deprived...and that is death to a healthy lifestyle.

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  7. Good for not feeling bad! Nothing good can come of guilt. Have your day and move on!

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  8. At least you tried hard to avoid the situation but the elements WON you did not FAIL and it will soon be fixed good luck x

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  9. :)

    A great point about stuff that's not on the menu, Seth. I was all ready for a salad but there was nothing even remotely close to that available. I still should have asked.

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  10. This is a great attitude! I always say it's what happens after an indulgent evening (week..whatever:) that matters in the end. Right back on track-no worries.

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  11. Not to worry ... you are doing fine. Just because the scale was up is ok too. You know that it will be off very soon because you always drink your water. It's just sodium. We all need to indulge every now and then. That's just life!!

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  12. Honestly, I think you did fine! You are ALLOWED to have a piece of pie and an off plan meal once in a while, you know. I know you feel like it starts a string of bad choices, but I saw your recent food log, and you had a good day - right back on plan.
    Don't beat yourself up, girl! You had a fun evening, enjoyed yourself - that's what life is about.

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  13. No beating up here... just some good contemplation going on! ;)

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