I have put together a plan to help me take care of myself a little more and hopefully, in the process, to give myself back the gift of being consistent in my efforts towards improved health and fitness. Thank you once more to Blue who brought my attention to the fact that my struggles have roots going back a bit further and in a slightly different direction than I had originally realized.
I need to learn to give myself a break. Not just by taking a moment to relax here and there, but also in the sense of forgiving myself for not being able to do it all. I manage to make happen what others can’t or won’t all the time; but that doesn’t meant that I have to push myself to a breaking point. I must learn to temper my enthusiasm and energy with a dose of acceptance for what is realistic. Pushing the boundaries can still be a part of who I am, yet obliterating them to the detriment of my own well-being shouldn’t happen. I need to get out of the way of my own dynamite.
So, my plan is pretty simple. There is a mix of things that I am going to implement to help me get through the next couple of months and which I hope will create some longer term improvements in my care of myself. Hopefully tending to the following will have the happy side effect of moving me onto more solid footing with my efforts to get consistently back on track with my eating and exercise.
1. I am postponing my half marathon training. I will still do one before the summer is out (don’t worry LauraLynne – it will still happen), but I will not be racing in the one at the end of June like I was contemplating doing. I need to take a step back from the pressure of working out for two hour long chunks once a week. I have barely gone jogging at all lately and I know that is because of the guilt and anxiety I have around this. I am very hopeful that removing this item from my ‘must do now’ pile will help me get back into enjoying running on a more informal basis.
2. I am going on a vacation. Really, it is just an overnight stay with my husband, but it will be different from the couple of other trips I have recently made as my only reason for this one is to get away. Though I thoroughly enjoyed my last two treks I am making sure that for this one that there will be no making time for writing and no visiting with family. My hubby and I will be celebrating our anniversary with an international train ride, time alone and without worries, and a nice evening out complete with dinner and a hotel stay. We may even hit a shop or two before we come home! I can’t wait to genuinely relax and unwind with my best friend and soul mate.
3. I am going to finish my self-preservation kit, as per the fabulous Miz’s suggestion from way back in February. I have collected a small pile of items over the past few months to act as a help when I am in desperate need of a recharge, but I haven’t actually done anything with them. The kit is incomplete and simply sitting on my dresser right now. I want to actually designate a spot for it to live and finish adding items to it so that I have everything I need when I feel drained and require a boost.
4. I am going to give my husband a break. This coming week is blessedly a little lighter as far as things that I may need help with goes and I am taking full advantage. My poor man has been run ragged over the past few months as he has assisted me with one thing after another and I am determined to finally give him some down time. I have truly been racked with guilt over this issue, and so I suppose that I can’t claim that this is a wholly altruist act. In making sure that I leave his schedule clear for at least a couple of the next several days I am helping both of us to be more grounded in preparation of the busyness that is still to come.
5. I am prioritizing. I have exactly two things that I must place my full attention on right now, and each of these has several aspects to consider. I have two weddings which I am attending in July that I am both helping to set up and designing and creating gifts for (as I also am for the corresponding bridal showers). The later wedding will see me as a bridesmaid and so, for that one, I have a number of additional happy duties that I must attend to over the next couple of months. I also have my writing to consider. I have an end of July deadline for a sample submission to the publisher I am currently working for which – because of the busyness I am anticipating next month – I have told myself is actually an end of June deadline. Plus, I must continue producing articles for my column and working with the owner to strategize future plans for my little corner of the company’s site. These are my top priorities right now and I think that recognizing that will help me to get stuff done in relation to them.
6. I am penciling myself in. I have actually now recorded two days off in a row in my calendar for August. I know that it is still a while until then, but I have never seen myself as priority enough to actually schedule down time. Now I am. If I am feeling overwhelmed in the future, I will use the same strategy. One great thing about being as organized as I generally am is that I tend to view my calendar as quite fixed. It’s time to make my schedule work for me as opposed to me working exclusively for it.
I don’t think that these few adaptations are going to solve everything. I have issues, as everyone does, which will continue to throw me off course. But, by implementing a few changes and remembering that I am not composed simply of a body – but also of a complex network of emotions and mental processes – I will be able to move forward and make a little more progress now, I think.
Taking care of my body, for a wide variety of reasons, is what started me on this path. Factors like strength, weight, endurance, size, and fitness are elements that I largely focused on as I worked my way towards a healthier version of myself. But, I can’t forget about the non-physical components of this journey. As I have changed I have recognized the immense value of things such as self-esteem, peace of mind, and confidence. I am glad that I never failed to see the significance of such keys to my success.
However, for as good as I think I have been at noting and nurturing most of the aspects of my endeavors towards health, I nonetheless suspect that I have continued to largely neglect the simplest - but most important - element: me. So, I will work at what I have laid out above. I shall make the changes that I think must be made. I move forward, always, with the intention to better myself even if right now that is defined by expecting a little less and accepting a little more.
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 pan-fried banana and light peanut butter wrap on a soft tortilla shell
- 2 pacific rose apples with cinnamon
- 1/3 cup fat free peach yogurt with 3/4 cup granola cereal
- 12 inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, onion, black olives, fat free Miracle Whip, honey mustard dressing, and pepper
- 2 homemade chocolate chip cookies
- 30 stomach crunches