Monday, September 20, 2010

Flirting With Disaster

I think I was flirted with today. A guy struck up a conversation with me about dragon boating and he commented that it must require being in great shape. He continued on to say that he could stand to lose a bit of weight and I told him that I had lost about a hundred pounds this year. He was shocked but then remarked that it must be nice that now I am turning heads.

When I told my (wonderful, understanding, and very much loved) husband about this encounter, I expressed to him that it was different from other such experiences that I have had because the guy was very classically attractive and had an air of awareness of that detail. While I have been pursued by and dated good looking men – and obviously married the best one – none of them had that cookie-cutter movie star quality that the guy today had, and I have to admit that it threw me off a bit. I am not sure why he decided to talk to me.

The obvious answers are all there, of course. I know that I am healthier, thinner, and probably more attractive to the opposite sex than I was before. But what I mean is that it’s hard for me to comprehend why that equates to being more worthy of approaching. Why is it that I am being noticed and accepted in entirely different ways and, in some cases, by entirely different groups of people than I was before? Today was my first encounter with it coming through in the form of flirting, but I have noticed it in other ways. I have seen my opinion listened to more readily by those who are discussing health; I have found many individuals to be more courteous and accommodating when speaking with me face to face; I have felt much more welcomed and accepted in environments where fitness is a focus.

The whole thing is rather bizarre to me, but fascinating at the same time. A lot goes through my head in those types of situations. All at once I am enjoying such benefits, wondering at the motivations of people who put a lot of stock in outward appearances, philosophizing about whether I also engage in similar actions, remembering what it was like to feel left out in previous circumstances, feeling bad about how those who are still excluded must be coping, and trying to come to terms with the guilt of liking the superficial perks of having lost such a large amount of weight.

As far as the man from today went, I actually removed myself from that situation before too long. All of those things started bouncing around in my head when I realized that he was flirting. I was flattered and couldn’t help but enjoy the moment, but I was also very disillusioned by all the issues it brought up for me.

I know that I have am prone to over analyzing things, but it’s hard not to look at such encounters from my unique perspective. We are the accumulation of our experiences and my particular experience of being morbidly obese and – one year later – of being a normal sized woman greatly colours what I do, think, and feel.

I actually feel kind of bad for the man. He was just trying to meet someone, but I was treating the whole thing as a social research project and taking mental notes to share with my hubby!

- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 1 pumpkin spice steamed soy milk
- 1 breakfast sandwich on a white bun with turkey bacon, egg white, cheese, and margarine
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1/2 cup fat free lemon chiffon yogurt with 1 cup granola cereal
- 4 slices garlic bread with Parmesan cheese
- 3 pieces of cinnamon French toast with maple syrup
- 3/4 cup ranch crackers
- 1 1/2 cups heavenly hash ice cream with butterscotch chips and sprinkles

- 45 minutes of rowing a dragon boat
- 45 minute walk


  1. yeah. That is what happened to me ...everyone says that 'you must be flattered' and you are, along with a good dose of skepticism about the depth and motivation of others. You aren't alone.

  2. Hi, I wanted to say I have watched your video 4 times and it has made me cry everytime. I want to have your experience so bad... I am 24 and weigh 240lbs and I have beeng exercising and eating right for a month and have not lost one pound. I feel trapt in this body. Your a huge inspiration to me, but I dont see the point of continuing anymore. I feel trapt. I am so happy for you, you get to live your life now and if i can't have that I'm glad a person like you is able to have that feeling! Good for you! I would love to hear some feedback.. my email is and I also have a blog with no followers yet is called bride battling blubber and the blues. Best wishes.. Erin

  3. This is a curious topic to be sure. Flattering, but can't help but wonder why they didn't approach a person who was heavier and maybe "less attractive" by the world's standards.