A very short while after I wrote about my weigh in today – about how proud I am of this week’s loss – my mom told me that the shorts that I was wearing looked tight. Now I love my mom, and ultimately appreciate the honesty, but still… I have to admit that it really hurt to hear.
I changed. Pretty much the second I had the opportunity to, I slipped into a pair of jeans. The problem though is that she is right. I was just saying to my husband that my clothes are fitting tighter, and after that exchange with my mom this afternoon I told him that I really only have a single pair of pants (the ones I had changed into) that I feel completely confident in wearing right now.
A little while ago I even thought about pulling out some of the bigger sizes that I had packed away a few months back. At least then I wouldn’t struggle to find something to wear in the mornings. But, for pride or foolhardiness or obstination I did not decide to go that route. Instead, I have been wearing what I have and just making it work with slightly looser and longer shirts to hide the muffin top that has been poking over my pants.
I just realized that I am not sure to what end I am writing about this. To complain about my mother’s comment; to confess about my ill-fitting clothing; to challenge my own conceptions… Regardless, I felt like I should journal about this, so here it is. It’s just one more entry in a long series of semi-related posts in the world of a woman doing her best to gain insights as she loses inches.
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 4 cups apple cinnamon flavoured corn, wheat, and oat cereal with 1 1/2 cups milk
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat and oat multi-grain cereal
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 1 glass iced tea
- 2 cups spaghetti with meat sauce
- 1 cup meatballs
- 2 slices homemade bread with butter
- 1 cup Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and croutons
- 1 1/2 pieces homemade cinnamon loaf
- 2 1/2 cups popcorn with butter
- 1 eggnog shortbread cookie
- 3/4 large hazelnut tart
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
EXERCISE:
- 10 squats
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You have worked do hard to get healthy. Draw the line again & declare war on those extra pounds. You are different now, you know what must be done, get your mojo back on ;)
ReplyDeleteGotta agree with Dee - you know what you need to do to get out of the rut and lose the muffin-tops. I found your anniversary video inspirational so know that your mojo is definitely within your grasp.
ReplyDeleteI sympathize with the overly-honest mum...for me, it's my gran - i love her, but she really needs to run her thoughts through some sort of sensitivity filter before she speaks...although sometimes it takes someone speaking their mind to shake us out of self-delusion and into taking action.
Now might be the time to join in with the Hot 100 challenge, where a bunch of us like-minded folks are joining together to achieve some goals before years end. Hope to see you there.
Phil
I gave away all of my bigger clothes when I got down to 226 lbs. Now I'm back up to 246 lbs...and most of my waistbands don't have elastic in them anymore....yeah..I totally get the "too tight" feeling and the pride of not wanting to pull out/buy the bigger stuff. I've refused to do so also. It's not my mom that gives me those comments...it's my 5 year old niece. She's brutally honest, and it stings, but as you said, I can appreciate it as something I need to hear at the same time. Hope you're having a good weekend girl. And the food lists the last couple of days have been a lot less sugary...good for you. I knew you could do it! :)
ReplyDeleteHere is a different slant from me...my mom passed away five years ago. I would give ANYTHING to have her back, even with any snarky comment she might make. Brush the comment off, get back to work and appreciate every day you have with her. You have done such a good job so far and can do it again. Jo
ReplyDeleteFamily can be hurtful sometimes. I have yet to pack clothes up because I need to buy new ones and can't afford to do that yet. So basically a lot of my stuff is too big but I just wear long shirts to cover the waistbands up. Use her comment for motivation to do better, it is up to you and you only!
ReplyDeleteDon't throw out your skinny clothes. Throw out all your food that is filled with sugar, and see where you are in 2 weeks.
ReplyDeleteI promised I would listen and I am. I'm not going to give you any advice. I wrote something on my blog about seeing myself in your situation: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/JeanneTops/view/hope-and-fear-42406
ReplyDeleteI'm only going to ask a question. I won't try to answer this question, I don't even know for sure if it will help you to answer it for yourself. But here it is:
Are you afraid you are gaining all the weight back?
You know how far you've come. You know what it was like to be 266 pounds and you know what it's like to be a healthy weight. Remember how it felt to have to shop at "fat lady" stores and in the plus size sections of other stores. Grab the bull by the horns and take control again. I know you can do it, but only you can make it happen. :) I have confidence in your ability to do it!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to write to encourage you. I've only just found your blog when I created my own blog to track my own weightloss after having 3 children. I'm turning 30 this year and it's my time to reclaim my body. I've been where you are, lost lots of weight, and then just slowly it etched up a bit. Our bodies tend to have a weight it quite likes to sit at. I have to work ultra hard and eat ultra 'clean' to stay on the low end of my healthy weight range. But if I went up 10lbs, it tends to plateu out. I bet your body is just comfy hanging on to a few pounds. I think if you want to shift it, you probably just need to change/up your exercise and drink lots of water. It's hard. I'm so exited to finally lose weight for the LAST time. I got down to 115lbs before I had children (was 150lb). After my first son, I could only manage to return to 127lbs (which is fine btw... I'm a real short girl). After my 2nd son, I could only get down to 159lbs.... and now, after my 3rd son, I'm sitting at 189lbs! It's so exhausting to have to start over.... but I just HAVE to pick myself up and try again. What's my other option? I hope you find your inner strength, you've certainly helped me find / kickstart mine. I'm excited. That's the key!
ReplyDeleteno more that 15 grams of sugar a day. and up your water. look back thruough you journal..your habits have changed..don't let them control you, you control them:)
ReplyDelete