I was in a training session yesterday that touched on the importance of nutrition and on creating generally healthy bodies. There was a woman in the workshop that was fairly comparable in size to me at my highest weight and my eyes went right to her.
She didn’t notice that I was looking right away, but as I watched I could see the emotions playing on her face. She had the same expressions that I am sure I always did whenever anyone brought up such topics. For me, it was always this odd mixture of somehow feeling like everyone was watching me and talking about my specific habits (which I knew, on a logical level, was completely absurd) and trying to melt into the surroundings. I just wanted to avoid having to contribute to the conversation as I was confident that the other people would be internally scoffing at the idea of someone my size offering ideas on a topic which, by all outward appearances, I knew very little about.
So, there I was gazing at this woman and thinking my thoughts while still listening to the discussion when she looked over at me. I smiled right away in an attempt to express my firsthand empathy, but then I realized… I’m no longer her size. All she probably saw was a fairly typically sized woman staring. I really hope she saw the genuineness of my smile because I absolutely hate the idea of her feeling like I was judging her in the same way I always thought others might be doing to me in moments like that.
It’s like I have a disguise now. My past experiences are completely invisible to most people, and sometimes that isn’t necessarily a good thing…
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 1/3 cups grapes
- 1 croissant
- 1 lemon poppy seed muffin with butter
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 gala apple
- 2 mugs tea with milk
- 2 almond yogurt granola bars
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 cup French fries with salt and honey mustard sauce
- 2 cheeseburgers on a hamburger bun with onions, mustard, and ketchup
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 5 bites chocolate candy pieces ice cream blend
- 55 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (30 minutes long and 25 minutes long)