Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A Fertile Mind

I thought I was pregnant.

About a week and a half ago, when I left to go out of town, I was a few days late getting my cycle. I am generally very regular and with the out-of-character food indulgences I had experienced over the few days prior I was nearly convinced that I was in the very beginning stages of pregnancy.

When we arrived at our destination I was struck by how all of my family would be together, which never happens. I realized that if I was with child that it would be the only opportunity I would have to tell all of them at the same time. I talked to my husband before bed and we agreed to get up early in the morning so that we could go and buy a pregnancy test and have confirmation one way or another.

Within a few minutes of waking up the next day it was evident that such a purchase was not required. I was not pregnant. We are not trying to have a baby right now, but we are getting close to that point. So, I think it’s safe to say that I was pretty sad when I told my husband the news.

Ironically, that evening - with the entire family gathered - my brother and sister-in-law announced that they are going to have another child. They had just found out the day before. And while I am over-the-moon excited for them and can’t wait to be auntie to yet another little one, it was just the tiniest bit hard to hear their happy news after such a recent personal disappointment.

So, what does all this have to do with this journey? Not a lot. Everything. I’m not sure.

What I do know is that when I returned from my time away I immediately put a note that said “thinking I was pregnant” at the top of my list of things to discuss on this blog. And it stayed there for the last ten days waiting for me to be ready to write about it.

I guess tonight I finally was.

- 6 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli turkey, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 toasted raisin English muffin with light peanut butter
- 1/4 cup raspberries
- 2 cups heated tuna salad with grated cheese, green onion, grated zucchini, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 pear

- 55 minutes of rowing a dragon boat


  1. I understand how you must have felt. I cant have a baby right now till I complete my college. And I see people around me announcing their pregnancies, I get really excited and jealous at same time :)

    Your time will come :)

  2. And remember how when you are ready to have a baby you will be able to have an amazingly healthy pregnancy because of your fantastic weight loss! Just think you have made so many wonderful changes that this baby will be healthy too.

  3. I certainly understand how you feel. I can't wait to have a baby but am not there health-wise or financially. We're taking those steps to get us there though! Your time will come!

  4. What a fortunate child yours will be to have such an insightful, thoughtful mommy! Perhaps you were preparing, mentally, for the idea of weight gain. Keep up your healthy habits and your eventual pregnancy will go much smoother!
    Good luck dear!


  5. I can tell you from experience. That losing weigh makes your body and hormones work better and become much more fertile. I was over weight my entire adult life. ( and am again but am slowly getting back) I lost a ton of weight and after trying for 8 or more years and 2 doctors doing many tests that they were 98% sure I would never have or carry a child. Well. I was pregnant 3 times and had 2 healthy and happy children. All because when I decided to get better myself, everything else just fell into place and proved those dr's wrong. It can happen, it will happen. They (Dr."s) still don't know how it happened but I have the proof!
    So trust me when I say, your well on your way. You will have a family. And it will be the best time of your life.

  6. Hang in there, everything happens at the right time and that time is still to come.

  7. I myself thought I was pregnant not so long ago. Then only to find out I wasn't. I understand the jealousy and excited for your family. Been there done that too. Hopefully one day it will be your time.

  8. Thank you for sharing this with us. I really understand. I had the same thing happen before I actually got and stayed pregnant, and when it was clear I wasn't that first time, I really felt some loss. Good for you for sitting with it, feeling it, and sharing it. I know you and your hubby will be wonderful parents someday!

  9. Yoou have a lot going on mentally beyond this too... I am sure this was hard as well. Just sending HUGS!

  10. Well this explains a lot girl. It really does. I'm glad you finally got this out of your system and blogged about it. Thank you for trusting us with your feelings. Your time is definitely coming...have faith in that. Hugs for you...as many as you need. :)

  11. How exciting to be excited to be pregnant. The clock has begun to tick. Your time will come!!


  12. Thank you, friends.

    The main motivating factor behind me finally losing all the weight was so that when the time came that I would have a healthy pregnancy. I know it will happen eventually (and like I said, we are not even trying right now); it was just a touch of sadness that was very unexpected.