They don’t exist. Those slow-paced, hot and languid days filled with fun and frivolity are currently as much a fantasy as me being able to eat whatever I want without gaining an ounce…
I got a very lengthy and thought-provoking message from Blue today that really helped me to look at an aspect of the problems I have been having that I hadn’t yet fully explored. I feel like every time I write on this blog lately that I am grasping at straws, trying to nail down my issue and attempting to figure out the best way to handle the difficulties I have been having. I get a lot of really astute comments (the most recent ones which stick out in my mind being from Jessica and Robin), some wonderfully motivating remarks (yes, Tammy, that is largely directed at you), and even a few caring personal emails (Dawne, you are just awesome) and so I do have a lot going on in my mind as I try to process my way through all of the fabulous insights that others have been taking the time to offer me of late.
And, once again, one of my dear readers has given me a piece of the puzzle that I didn’t even know was missing. Blue essentially went back and read through my posts for the past month and a half in an attempt to key in to what really triggered this off-track bout that I have been working my way through. And she came up with something that I thought really deserved some careful exploration.
May 4th saw me running for the hills. I was overwhelmed with my many projects and noticing that I was beginning to be short with others as a result. So I wisely took a couple of days break and embarked on a mini vacation to recharge my batteries.
It was fabulous and I am so glad that I did it. I honestly think that it helped to bring a certain calmness to my frenzied efforts and that it was necessary and a successful solution. However, now that I am examining it more closely, I also believe that said solution only extended to the immediate circumstances and that it really didn’t do much at all for my long-term well-being.
I think I have recognized something important here. I am still feeling beyond overwhelmed with all that I have to do in the coming weeks. My husband and I have been teasing each other for a few months now that we will see one another in August. The sad part though is that such a joke isn’t funny when it’s largely accurate. We really have been extremely busy and truly don’t think that things will slow down until July is over.
So what to do? I am going to mull this over, but I do already have a couple of thoughts. I will post a second part to this entry tomorrow once I have had a chance to really think things through carefully. Off the top of my head, I think that another bandaid may be in order for the short term and that as a more enduring solution that one or two things may have to be put on hold until I have more of an opportunity to give them the attention they require. Overall, I need to lighten my load so that I can lighten myself, both in the weight loss sense and for my mental well-being.
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 large banana
- 2 cups pineapple
- 3 1/2 cups celery with light peanut butter
- 2 golden delicious apples with cinnamon
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
EXERCISE:
- 30 stomach crunches
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I think I may, I think I might...:) Hope you find that place of comfort soon.
ReplyDeleteI think it is amazing that you have such great freinds and followers who read through your posts to help find your patterns. I've read a number of your posts, but not all.
ReplyDeleteI am on my own weight loss journey and do have a couple of questions that have popped into my mind as I've had the opportunity to read your entries on and off over the last few weeks,especially after today's.
1. Are you being too hard on yourself? To maintain your goal weight, you will continue to have ups and downs, it is a life style. Can you find balance.
2. Are you trying to sabbotage your success? You are so very close. Are you afraid?
Do yourself a favour and ask yourself these questions if you haven't already. If you don't they will come back to haunt you, regardless of your weight, regardless of where you are at in this journey.
Also, in getting down on yourself for these slow downs you seem to be forgetting these amazing 'big pictures,' these amazing accomplishments. I recognize you don't want to be complacent or to settle, but isn't part of weight loss also about accepting yourslef for who you are. Once you do, some of those pounds also just fall off naturally. Seriously.
Good luck as you continue this journey, that really continues for the rest of your life. Support yourself in a way that makes it sustainable.
Cheers!
I also think that we people who comfort ourselves with food have to find another fix (I'm still looking just so you know, but I know that I need to find it :) ) . Also, identifying the problem is half the battle so that you know the source of the discomfort and unsettle in your life.
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind me asking (and maybe you are already doing it --I didn't read back very far) have you added cardio into your routine?
You're going to be just fine. I know it!
I'm glad you're getting things figured out girl...that's what we're all here for, to help each other through. And I do hope you find a way to lighten your load this summer so you can find some peace of mind and more quality time with your honey bunny. :)
ReplyDelete266, I remember when I was younger & I was busier than busy & worked so many hours that the left over was for errands & a workout & that was about it. It really was the toughest of times. I think a re-evaluation & maybe putting some things on the back burner for now might really help. We miss so much & I am talking from experience, unfortunately!
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
Thanks, all!
ReplyDeleteLisa, I think that because I feel like I am slacking I am not giving myself too much of a hard time. If it were simply a matter of me settling into a routine I would be fine with my behaviours, but I know that what I have been doing has been more about caving than practicing moderation. I agree that balance will be key when I am at the point of maintanance, but for now I need to figure this out because I have been just giving in too often. As far as self sabbotage goes... I really don't know. I'd like to think that isn't the case - personally, I suspect it is more about feeling overwhelmed and having limited time/energy to put into this right now - but I suppose it is a possibility. I absolutley loved where I was and was excited about what was still to come when things started to go awry, so I sort of doubt it though. I love your questions though; thank you for making me consider a couple of alternatives! And thank you, too, for reminding me to accept myself as is!
I Said So, I generally do a lot of cardio, but my exercise routine has been pretty awful these past couple of weeks. I was doing lots of jogging up until recently and I was often getting in step aerobics (on DVD) or walking or the like prior to that. I need to return to those good habits!