Thursday, October 1, 2009

Laughter And Tears

On a whim, I decided to go to the mall today to see how close I was to fitting into the next size down. I ended up in a large department store, made me way through the rows of clothing, and found two pairs of size 20W jeans and a pair of size 20 slacks. I walked into the change room and hung up the pants. I stared wistfully at the clothes hanging against the cubical wall on the small silver hooks as I disrobed, and I took a deep breath when I pulled the first pair of jeans from their hanger…

They fit! Yes, they were just the slightest bit snug, but I never would have let that stop me if I was on a normal shopping excursion. There was no tugging or sucking in or stretching involved; they simply zipped up without hesitation. There was no muffin top left peeking over the edge nor uncomfortable straining against the waistline. I couldn’t believe it!

I looked at myself in the mirror with shock and an enormous smile broke across my face. I actually started giggling out loud as the reality that they fit set in. And then I started to cry.

I sat down and bawled like a baby. It wasn’t long – maybe two minutes tops – but I could not have stopped myself if I had tried. I hadn’t really believed that I was down to a size 22 from my original 24W. My old 22’s are exactly that: old. I had justified that they must be extremely stretched to have allowed my lower half to be accommodated within them. And the pair of 22W’s that I got a couple of weeks ago? They were bought used from a thrift store and I assumed the same about them. So, of course, I had never actually thought that I would fit into anything even close to a 20W jean.

After I calmed down and wiped the wetness from my cheeks, I tried on the other pairs of pants. They, too, fit very well. I decided that – although they were slightly more than I generally pay for clothing – I would buy the first ones since I doubt I will ever come across any other jeans that make me both laugh and cry.

Without a doubt, this is the most emotional post that I have written to date. I have tears welling in my eyes even as I write this. Now, as the first one runs down my left cheek, I realize that somehow that was the first time I had recognized just how much progress I have made.

I’m not sure how I missed it before. I know I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and that I feel better and more energized. I am more active and consistently make healthier food choices. But, in that change room today, the reality of what I have so far accomplished sunk in. I can now say with certainty that I wear a size 20. And I am very, very proud of that!

- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 peach
- 1 small slice of whole grain bread with margarine
- 2 pan fried mustard chicken thighs
- 1 plum
- 3/4 cup fat free black cherry yogurt with 1 cup of Special K
- 1 cup of pineapple

- 1 hour and 40 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (55 minutes long and 45 minutes long)
- 4 sets of 15 lunges for each leg
- 4 sets of 10 knee push ups


  1. Congratulations, you're doing so well! I'm glad that this shopping trip helped you to see the progress you've made, it's so easy to overlook it when you're focused on the big picture.
    Hope you're going to post another picture, in the new jeans...?

  2. I am so happy for you. My eyes actually teared up as I read your post.

  3. What a joyous moment! Wear those new jeans with pride; you've earned it!

  4. Congratulations! I am so happy for you!! Don't get too comfy in those jeans b/c I bet they won't fit for long.
    I'm so proud of you!!

  5. I had a similar sensation a few weeks back. It dawned on me that I had checked my box of skinnier pants in a couple of months and had a giddy afternoon of pair after pair actually fitting. What a great feeling!

  6. That's awesome! You should be so proud of yourself. I understand the overwhelming emotions perfectly. I have a post tomorrow about getting rid of the old clothes. I think you will like it.

  7. Congratulations! I love buying new smaller sized clothes, what an awesome way to start the month. :) I'm new here and have been reading your archives and I have to say your progress motivates me so much! I added you to my reading list, if you don't mind. Thanks for all the motivation you provide with your blog. :)

  8. I'm so happy for you!! It's just amazing to fit into new clothing sizes! It totally validates what's happening in a way that numbers on the scale just can't. Congratulations!!

  9. That is a fabulous feeling and I am so happy for you, you are doing such a brilliant job!!


  10. That is wonderful! You deserve to spend a little extra on yourself. GO YOU!!!

  11. As always, your support and kind words overwhelm me.

    Chris, a new progress picture is coming in two days (although it will probably be the same outfit that I have used in the other photos)!

    Kathryn, I am honoured that you are adding me to your reading list. Thank you!

  12. Kathryn, you should know that I tried to comment on your blog, but there is something wrong with your word verification. I can't scroll down far enough to type it in and, therefore, can not publish my remarks.

  13. Yay! Congratulations on the smaller sizes. Fitting into tinier clothes is always on my list of highlights.

    You should be incredibly, incredibly proud of how far you've come. You're doing a fabulous job. And you know what's next? 18s.

  14. I would have bought 10 pairs! Oh, but I guess that's trading one addiction in for another! LOL Congrats!!!!! You deserve them no matter how much they cost. Yipee!

  15. I'm even wearing the new jeans right now... tee hee!

  16. Thanks a lot for making me cry is just a super fantastic post. Emotional, yes, but fantastic! So, so proud of your progress. Your blog is a pleasure to follow. Yay for Skinny Brittany!! :)

  17. Congratulations! May we all have such life-changing moments.

  18. yayayayyayay i am so happy for you!!!!!!

  19. I'm so happy for you!! And I'm glad you bought the jeans. Congratulations!