Laughter And Tears

On a whim, I decided to go to the mall today to see how close I was to fitting into the next size down. I ended up in a large department store, made me way through the rows of clothing, and found two pairs of size 20W jeans and a pair of size 20 slacks. I walked into the change room and hung up the pants. I stared wistfully at the clothes hanging against the cubical wall on the small silver hooks as I disrobed, and I took a deep breath when I pulled the first pair of jeans from their hanger…

They fit! Yes, they were just the slightest bit snug, but I never would have let that stop me if I was on a normal shopping excursion. There was no tugging or sucking in or stretching involved; they simply zipped up without hesitation. There was no muffin top left peeking over the edge nor uncomfortable straining against the waistline. I couldn’t believe it!

I looked at myself in the mirror with shock and an enormous smile broke across my face. I actually started giggling out loud as the reality that they fit set in. And then I started to cry.

I sat down and bawled like a baby. It wasn’t long – maybe two minutes tops – but I could not have stopped myself if I had tried. I hadn’t really believed that I was down to a size 22 from my original 24W. My old 22’s are exactly that: old. I had justified that they must be extremely stretched to have allowed my lower half to be accommodated within them. And the pair of 22W’s that I got a couple of weeks ago? They were bought used from a thrift store and I assumed the same about them. So, of course, I had never actually thought that I would fit into anything even close to a 20W jean.

After I calmed down and wiped the wetness from my cheeks, I tried on the other pairs of pants. They, too, fit very well. I decided that – although they were slightly more than I generally pay for clothing – I would buy the first ones since I doubt I will ever come across any other jeans that make me both laugh and cry.

Without a doubt, this is the most emotional post that I have written to date. I have tears welling in my eyes even as I write this. Now, as the first one runs down my left cheek, I realize that somehow that was the first time I had recognized just how much progress I have made.

I’m not sure how I missed it before. I know I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and that I feel better and more energized. I am more active and consistently make healthier food choices. But, in that change room today, the reality of what I have so far accomplished sunk in. I can now say with certainty that I wear a size 20. And I am very, very proud of that!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 peach
- 1 small slice of whole grain bread with margarine
- 2 pan fried mustard chicken thighs
- 1 plum
- 3/4 cup fat free black cherry yogurt with 1 cup of Special K
- 1 cup of pineapple

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 40 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (55 minutes long and 45 minutes long)
- 4 sets of 15 lunges for each leg
- 4 sets of 10 knee push ups