I made my way to the local thrift store to try and find a cheap pair of jeans, but to no avail. I did try on a couple of pairs that I deemed okay when they were on the hanger, but once I was wearing them it was obvious that they just were not in good enough shape to purchase.
When I was in the change room though, the oddest thing happened. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed that my legs are different. I don't glance at myself very often in the single full length mirror that we have at home, so I suppose the experience has eluded me simply due to a lack of opportunity. But it was so odd... I swear there is less cellulite on these pins! Don't get me wrong, they are nowhere near what I would call an attractive pair of legs, but somehow I think I saw fewer lumps and bumps.
Of course, this got me examining other body parts while in the stall (good thing there wasn't a lineup of angry frugal shoppers awaiting their turn) and I found the same thing occurring on my backside. Yes, I am certain that my rear is looking a little smoother! My stomach? Well, that's another story. There is this small, sad little pouch of loose skin gathering at the underside of my tummy. It's not very big, but it is a shame that I will probably always have the extra tissue that I stretched across my ever-expanding body all these years. Oh, well. For now, at least, I see it as a strange sort of badge - I worked hard to earn that ugly patch of skin and when I look at it I will feel pride for all I've done these past three months.
Anyhow, I did manage to find a fairly inexpensive pair of jeans from a department store and, I am happy to announce, they are regular size 18's! I got rid of that 'W' and am still working my way down in the sizes. Yes, they are slightly snug, but definitely less so than when I tried on the other 18's a couple of weeks ago. I am so happy that my pant size keeps on slipping lower and lower!
When I got home from my mini shopping trip, I decided that I was feeling confident enough to try on a dress that I have not been able to wear in six years. This particular gown was actually purchased over a decade ago, but never worn out at that time due to my quickly expanding waistline. Back in (I believe) 2003, I had a brief - but temporarily successful - brush with losing weight and managed to drop down enough so that I was able to fit into this stunning dress for one glorious night.
So, this evening I decided to give it another go. Ha! Not a chance! I took a peak and the label says that it is an 11/12. That's what I get for being cocky! However, I took it completely in stride and I have absolutely zero issues with not fitting into it yet. This is because I know that the 'yet' at the end of my last sentence is completely accurate. I will get into that dress someday soon. I managed to pull it on today - something I am positive I couldn't have done in August - and the zipper was only separated by about four inches of skin. To some that may seem like a lot, but less than 100 days ago I would never have even known that the divide was closer to a foot since I wouldn't have been able to pull the garment up over my hips or down past my chest.
There is progress here: so much so that it sometimes threatens to overwhelm me. But these small victories, the ones that don't amount to much on their own and which are not necessarily complete in and of themselves, bring me comfort. Things take time. But before too much more time has passed - I'm hoping another two or three months - I will be making my husband take me someplace nice just so that I can show off how far I've come while wearing that beautiful, sexy red dress!
FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 12 glasses of water throughout the day
- 1 banana
- 3 cups spinach salad with grape tomatoes, dried cranberries, whole wheat croutons, and an olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 wrap on a whole wheat tortilla shell with egg whites, feta cheese, spinach, and sun-dried tomato
- 2 cups grapes
- 1/2 serving homemade reduced fat blueberry crème brulee
- 1 hour and 20 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (15 minutes long, 25 minutes long, and 40 minutes long)
- 2 sets of 7 push ups