Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

I realized last night, when I was thinking about how I would be meeting up with an old friend today, that this is the first time I have not felt awful about how I would appear when seeing someone I hadn’t gotten together with in a long time. Even though I was already overweight in high school, my figure continued to drastically swell over the years and, consequently, encountering people I didn’t often see always left me feeling like I had really let myself go. Even over the last few years, I still did this when seeing past colleagues, or others I have known, since I knew I just kept getting bigger. It was like each time I ran into an old acquaintance I would have an immediate ‘before’ image pop into my head – one that reflected the ‘me’ they had last seen – and that picture was always much, much smaller than the version standing there.

But not today. Today I am looking forward to seeing my best friend from my elementary years. We quickly drifted apart when we went to secondary school, but were fortunately able to reconnect a little online over the last couple of years. I briefly ran into her once just prior to the Christmas before this last one and it was exactly the type of mentally embarrassing situation I mentioned above – worse even, given those specific circumstances. Yet this afternoon, when I see her and we have the chance to finally catch up, I look forward to not feeling like I am less than I may have been in her eyes because of my weight. I am certainly not saying that is how she (or anyone else, for that matter) would have seen me in my heavier days! It is simply the image that I was worried I was portraying.

No more! Today I will not be concerned about how I look; I won’t think twice about how my long lost friend might perceive me. Instead, I will enjoy catching up with a great person and will savour one more moment of normalcy that I withheld from myself for far too long.

11 comments:

  1. Good for you! I know exactly what you are talking about and I can't wait to feel the same.

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  2. I have been known to hide when I run into someone—or hopefully they don't see me until I can hide. So I know what you're talking about. I'm glad for you.

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  3. I hope you had a wonderful visit. That's a great example of a non-scale victory!

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  4. have an awesome visit! Let it feel good IT SHOULD!

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  5. Sounds like it will be a wonderful visit. Good for you!

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  6. Enjoy your time with your friend! I'm sure you'll look beautiful.

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  7. I had those same feelings when I knew I had to see someone I hadn't seen in years. I know you will have a wonderful, wonderful time.

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  8. What a great feeling! Enjoy your visit.

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