And A Happy New Year!

Not much to say… I know that I am doing horribly on the eating and exercise front, but I am also surprisingly confident about my commitment to turning this around. Hubby and I have just a couple of days left until the holidays are officially over and life goes back to normal, and I suppose I am taking full advantage. All I can say is that I am looking forward to the new year!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 7 vegetable crackers with cream cheese
- 7 chocolate doughnut holes with icing
- 1 large root beer milkshake
- 3/4 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 personal Hawaiian pizza
- 3/4 cup sour gummy candies
- 1 bite of a nougat chocolate bar
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 glass lemon lime soda
- 12 shortbread biscuits
- 2 glasses of ice wine
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge
- 1 peanut butter chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Let's Try This

Okay. I have all of the junk in the house packed up and ready to go to my husband’s work. Onward!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1/2 piece pita bread
- 1 cup roast lamb
- 1/4 roast potato
- 1 glass of eggnog
- 6 chocolate doughnut holes with icing
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 30 vegetable crackers with cream cheese
- 4 pieces of almond roca
- 4 chocolates with peppermint filling
- 1 large glass of a piña colada slushy drink
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 bite of a glazed doughnut
- 1/4 cup smokehouse almonds
- 3 chocolates with chocolate filling
- 2 chocolates with peanut butter filling
- 3 chocolates with maple filling
- 2 chocolate peppermint sticks

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Trudging Along

My eating was a little better than it has been so far this week. It still had much too much in the way of sweets. I am working at it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 hot chocolate with whipped cream
- 2 scrambled eggs with salt
- 1 piece of stuffed cinnamon raisin French toast with strawberries, strawberry sauce, and whipped cream
- 2 slices of bacon with maple syrup
- 6 cup popcorn with butter and salt
- 1 glass of cola
- 10 chocolates with white chocolate filling
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 apple fritter
- 16 cheese crackers with cream cheese
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Once More, With Feeling

I did very poorly today. I got some bad news that left me feeling really down and completely let that dictate how I ate. I am bloated and I feel disappointed. Time to turn this around…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 glasses of eggnog
- 11 large crackers with jalapeño cheese
- 9 coffee flavoured toffees
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 1 slice of apple pie with 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
- 10 whole wheat crackers with cream cheese and hot pepper jelly
- 4 glasses of lemon-lime soda
- 1 pita pocket with tzatziki
- 1 cup of roast lamb
- 1 cup rice with tzatziki
- 1/2 cup tomatoes with feta cheese and balsamic vinaigrette
- 2 jumbo prawns with melted butter
- 2 pieces of a homemade chocolate and peanut butter marshmallow bar
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 1 piece of a homemade coconut fudge and pecan bar
- 1 sample of lemon ice cream
- 1 sample of cranberry ice cream
- 1 scoop of eggnog ice cream and 1 scoop of coconut ice cream on a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 eggnog streamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Not Back On The Horse Just Yet

Hmmm… This holiday feasting seems to be taking a little longer to get under control than I originally thought. Again, there was too much in the way of sugary treats. On the somewhat more positive side, there were also more healthy options today; there just weren’t enough of them. I will keep at it though.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 cup carrots, broccoli, and yellow pepper with roasted garlic dip
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 chocolate marshmallow treat
- 1 peppermint cream filled chocolate
- 1 cherry cream filled chocolate
- 1 piece of almond roca
- 1 miniature peanut butter cup
- 1 orange cream filled chocolate
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 brown bun with margarine
- 1 cup stuffing
- 3 slices of honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 2/3 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1 slice apple pie with 1 cup vanilla ice cream
- 3 small Mandarin oranges
- 1 cheese bagel with cream cheese
- 1 glass juice
- 1 sour cream glazed doughnut

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

One More Christmas

Well, what I ate was not really better than yesterday, but the quantity was a little more reigned in. Maybe it’s bad that I am not all that concerned, but considering that my hubby and I just got to do our Christmas today I felt pretty okay with letting the celebratory eating go a little further.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 heated turkey sandwiches on white buns with mayonnaise and margarine
- 2 pieces of heated homemade cranberry apple crisp with 1 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream
- 4 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 10 chocolates with white chocolate filling
- 1 cup flavoured jelly beans
- 1/2 cup smokehouse almonds
- 1 mug hot apple cider

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

I'm Dreaming Of A Light Christmas

We managed to make our way around to visit and celebrate with four different groups of people today! It was fabulous to spend time with loved ones, but I am beyond stuffed. Seriously, my food list is probably as horrific as it has ever been on here! I will leave this day of overindulgence where it belongs though – in the past – and move forward with healthier choices tomorrow. Now that’s a great Christmas gift!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1/2 cup candied almonds and dried cranberries
- 2 pieces homemade stollen with sugar and butter
- 1/2 cup party mix snack
- 1 large eggnog milkshake
- 1 1/4 cups French fries with salt and honey mustard sauce
- 2 cheeseburgers on hamburger buns with onion, ketchup, and mustard
- 15 cheese crackers with cheese
- 1/2 cup cheezies
- 1/4 cup jelly beans
- 1 glass diet lemon lime soda
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 4 gherkin pickles
- 1 cup grape, broccoli, celery, green onion, and pecan salad with a homemade mayonnaise, vinegar, and sugar dressing
- 1/2 cup stuffing
- 1/2 turkey leg with cranberry sauce
- 1/4 cup corn with margarine
- 1 white dinner bun with butter
- 2 pieces of a homemade chocolate and peanut butter marshmallow bar
- 1 piece of a homemade coconut fudge and pecan bar
- 2 slices of a homemade pistachio and raspberry holiday log
- 12 herb crackers with spicy cheese
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge
- 1 cup homemade trifle
- 2 miniature peanut butter cups
- 1 piece of almond roca
- 1 nut cluster
- 1/8 cup flavoured jelly beans

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

I am in a wonderful mood and feeling sated from a warm family Christmas dinner! We are on our way out to see some close friends so there will likely be a bit more eating in my near future, but no time for later posting, so I am journalling what I have consumed so far and will post any extras on here tomorrow! I hope everyone is enjoying a fabulous holiday season!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1/8 cup party mix snack
- 1/2 cup dark turkey meat with cranberry jelly
- 2 white buns with butter
- 1/2 cup corn with margarine
- 1/2 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with margarine
- 1 cup stuffing
- 2 1/2 cups homemade trifle
- 3 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 2 homemade chocolate and vanilla fruit cookies
- 2 pieces of a homemade coconut layer bar
- 1 cup dried pineapple, mango, and papaya

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Homemade

Okay. I admit it. I went too heavy on the Christmas goodies today. I have been better about turning down all sorts of store bought junk of late, but I am finding the homemade stuff really hard to refuse! Even so, considering how much home baked treats I had in front of me today – from several different sources – I actually think I did better than many others would have. But, it’s still something to work on.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 5 homemade miniature fruit and pecan shortbread cookies
- 1 pita pocket with tzatziki
- 1 1/2 cups Caesar salad with croutons
- 1 cup Greek seasoned rice
- 1 lamb souvlaki skewer with tzatziki
- 2 homemade shortbread wedges
- 3 homemade buns with margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free blueberry pomegranate yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 3 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 3 homemade sugar cookies with icing and sprinkles
- 1 piece of homemade lavender fudge

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Christmas Countdown

I just need to get through a few more days and I will actually have some spare time again… right?!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 2 slices of honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 glass of organic root beer
- 1 1/2 cups fettuccine Alfredo
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 45 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (20 minutes long and 25 minutes long)

The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow

I had a pretty cruddy day. Lots of stuff seemed to go wrong and I am feeling sorry for myself. I think I did alright with the eating, considering the emotions of my day were paired with a birthday party. Hopefully tomorrow is better...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with bacon, eggs, cheese, and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 4 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 3 slices of white bread with butter
- 3 1/2 cups fettuccine Alfredo
- 1 slice of ice cream cake

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Write And Wrong

It’s not hard to tell that my days are getting busier and busier again with Christmas fast approaching. I was getting a little better at posting slightly more insightful entries, but I seem to be back to barely jotting down a couple of brief thoughts just before heading to bed. At least I am still writing something!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 mugs eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with margarine, turkey bacon, cheese, and egg white
- 3 slices honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 cup cheese scalloped potatoes
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with dill cream sauce
- 2 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Slip

It was a bit too much of a lackadaisical day on the food front for me today. I definitely let my guard down a little more and shouldn’t have. And I had no idea what kettle corn tasted like prior to this evening. It is now officially on my list of foods not to buy for myself! And the cheesecake is already packed up for my husband to take to his co-workers tomorrow.

I just have to keep at it. Slips don’t have to mean that I fall down on my face…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 12 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1/2 cup cashews
- 1 piece of a homemade fudge coconut bar
- 3 homemade buns with margarine
- 3 homemade chocolate and peppermint cookies
- 2 slices of whole grain toast with cheese
- 6 gherkin pickles
- 1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes and carrots with sun dried tomato dip
- 6 cups kettle corn
- 1 mug of hot apple cider
- 1 slice of birthday cake with icing and sprinkles
- 12 spicy potato chips
- 1 slice homemade cranberry eggnog cheesecake with chocolate crust and whipped cream

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Yuletide Cheer

Well, even though tonight means that I probably gained back what I have lost from following a healthier diet this week, I actually don’t think I did too badly this evening. It was our big Christmas party with lots of homemade treats and delicious dinnertime favourites. I did show a little restraint though. I was even given a bottle of ice wine as a hostess gift, but I didn’t even open it! All in all it was a wonderful night with family and friends. Regardless of what the scale says tomorrow, I am thrilled that the night was so much fun!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 10 glasses of water
- 1 orange
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 4 homemade pull apart buns with butter
- 15 whole grain cranberry crackers with herb cheese
- 2 slices honey mustard glazed ham with mustard
- 1 cup cheese scalloped potatoes
- 1 cup Caesar salad with bacon, cheese, croutons, and light dressing
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with dill cream sauce
- 4 gherkin pickles
- 1 slice homemade cranberry eggnog cheesecake with a chocolate crust and whipped cream
- 2 homemade chocolate peppermint cookies
- 2 homemade lavender shortbread cookies
- 1 homemade sugar cookie with icing and sprinkles
- 1/2 cup chocolate mints

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Beat

I am beyond beat right now. So much for doing so well at getting to bed at a decent hour…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 1 pear
- 1 hazelnut chocolate
- 1 raspberry cereal bar
- 1 cup celery, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, and carrots with ranch dip
- 7 cheese and potato perogies with onion and sour cream
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Half Baked

I am feeling pretty good about today and yesterday. I got the majority of my Christmas baking done over the past 24 hours and I didn’t sample a single cookie nor even taste a lick of batter. I am really happy about that!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with cheese
- 3/4 cup peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pear
- 1 bagel with cream cheese
- 1 cup pineapple
- 1 small mug hot chocolate
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Progressing Towards Progress

Something that has been helping me lately on all fronts is that – even though I am still feeling the incredible busyness of the season – I have been getting to sleep at relatively reasonable hours for most of this week. Another good habit that has been helpful for getting back on the healthier bandwagon is that I have been trying not to eat after 8pm. It’s all baby steps, but I do feel like I am making some progress towards more consistently healthy choices.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 slices whole grain toast with cheese
- 1 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cup pasta with white cheddar sauce
- 1 pear
- 8 cheese and potato perogies with fried onions and sour cream
- 5 large crackers with cheese

EXERCISE:

Just Desserts

Well, I just figured out what I will be making for dessert for our Christmas party! I will be adapting a recipe that I found for eggnog cranberry cheesecake! Yum, yum, yum! I really hope it turns out! It certainly is not the healthiest option, but I always do something special for the holidays and I am pretty sure that my guests will make sure there is nothing left for me to binge on after our gathering. It feels good to be planning on a little indulgence without the worry of leftovers.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted raisin bagel with cheese slices
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and grain bar
- 1 fried quesadilla with 2 soft tortilla shells and cheese
- 2 Mandarin oranges
- 3 1/2 cups celery, carrots, tomato, and cucumber with creamy dill dip

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

Issues And Tissues

The day has flown by with one time-consuming moment after another and I feel like I’ve barely gotten anything accomplished. That’s not good considering how much I have on my ‘to do’ list this week! At least I am feeling a tiny bit better today. The sinus congestion has turned into a runny nose, which means I am running out of tissues, but I am pretty sure I am on the mend.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 bananas
- 1 cup beef in black bean sauce
- 1 cup honey garlic pork
- 1 1/2 cups chow mien
- 1 large tropical smoothie
- 2 hard boiled eggs
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 2 pork chops

EXERCISE:
- 50 minute walk

Yes, I Would Like Some Cheese With That

I am sick! Ugh! I have been fighting it and fighting it for a few days now, but I must concede: I have a cold! And it’s that can-barely-breathe type of cold too – the kind where if you couldn’t open your mouth you would probably asphyxiate. I am so achy too. And I have an annoying cough. Sigh...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 bite of cheese with pear jelly
- 3/4 cup green salad with Caesar dressing
- 1 toasted raisin bagel with cheese slices
- 3/4 cup fat free vanilla yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 pumpkin pie fruit and granola bar
- 1 cup chicken bites with mustard
- 1 cup garlic and chive roast potatoes
- 3 homemade cheese biscuits with margarine
- 1 pear

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sizing Things Up

I found a stash of old clothes today. That was interesting. They were all bigger, random sizes: everything from 18 through 24. My husband asked if I could get both of my legs into one of the pant legs on a particularly large pair of corduroys and I could. Wow!

The thing that astounded me the most though is when I realized why I had put away all of those clothes and somehow forgotten about them. At some point, they were all too small.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted raisin English muffin with pepperoni and cheese slices
- 3/4 cup peach yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 4 cups beef and broccoli
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 1/2 pears

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

One Theory

I had a hard time deciding whether to bring attention to this or not, but I really think that I must...

I find the theories that are bouncing around about how my past months of struggle have been an experiment are quite insulting to anyone who is dealing with the issue of overeating. I have been nothing but honest in what I write on here and all that has been witnessed is a very raw glimpse into the ongoing journey of someone who doesn’t have it right just yet. The only difference between what I have been experiencing and what countless men and women go through on a daily basis is that I had an audience. You may not understand what has been happening with me – I don’t need you to – but I do request that you don’t make light of the difficulties people like me go through. Please, for the sake of those who come here looking for help in their own struggles, do not make wild inferences about the intentions of this blog. Surely those who are experiencing similar difficulties do not need to hear that there are people out there that simply can't comprehend it as being a reality for some. It is real. And so, too, is the potential for such unacceptance to cause damage to others.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 bananas
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and pepper
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 cups tortilla chips with salsa
- 2 pieces of ham and cheese quiche
- 2 homemade cheese biscuits
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal

EXERCISE:
- 30 minute walk

Warming Up

I think I did fairly well today with the eating. Considering that we had problems with the heat quitting on us and my stress level jumped up at that little issue, I would say that I am happy with how things went. One step at a time, right?

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese and pepper
- 2 pancakes with margarine and syrup
- 1/2 apple pear
- 1/2 cup breaded chicken bites with mustard
- 1 cup chicken flavoured basmati rice
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with margarine
- 6 honey garlic chicken wings

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Vicious Circle

A few days ago I decided to take what I can only describe as a food vacation. I have done my very best to loosen my mental concerns around this area because I really have not given myself such a break since beginning this journey back in August of last year. This is not to say that I have eaten well all of the time – in fact, it's no secret that the last couple of months have been really horrible – but I have been far too mindful of what I was eating and I needed to give myself a reprieve.

When every single morsel that goes past your lips is considered in great, over-analytical detail it can become a very painful process for someone who is stuck in the guilty circle of overeating. So I took a few days. And I am very, very glad that I did.

And now its time to get back at it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 1 banana
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 1/4 cups pretzels
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese
- 1 small glass wild cherry juice
- 1 strawberry cereal bar
- 1 eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 large apple fritter
- 1 coconut shortbread cookie topped with jam
- 3/4 of a chocolate éclair
- 2 strawberry milkshakes
- 1 bite of a chocolate frosty
- 1 large lime smoothie
- 5 small slices of pizza bread

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour of a capoeira class
- 15 minute walk

Happy Birth Day!

Regardless of the troubles that we may sometimes face, there is always a ray of sunshine waiting to push away even the darkest of clouds…

My step sister had a baby today and I just couldn’t be happier for her and her family!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 5 butter toffee rice cakes
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry bar with icing
- 1 peanut butter chocolate bar
- 1 large glass of root beer
- 6 inch toasted sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, deli turkey, bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, black olives, honey mustard, light mayonnaise, and pepper
- 2 white chocolate macadamia nut cookies
- 3 bites of a pesimmon
- 1/2 cup black cherry yogurt
- 2 lime smoothies
- 1 small slice pizza bread
- 2 Thai chicken strips
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, and sauce
- 1 cup yam fries with spicy mayonnaise
- 1 almond toffee candy

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Stuff

I don't have a lot to say after my earlier post. I am still sorting through stuff...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 2 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 2 toasted English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 2 almond cookies
- 1 gingerbread man with icing and candy decorations
- 1 piece of apple strudel with drizzled icing
- 2 sandwiches on onion buns with cheese slices, light mayonnaise, and margarine
- 1 whipped cream doughnut with powdered sugar
- 1 cup pretzels
- 2 caramel cookies
- 2 shortbread cookies with vanilla icing
- 1 coconut cookie with chocolate icing
- 1 shortbread cookie with lemon icing
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with cheese sauce
- 1 small scoop of rum and raisin ice cream, 1 small scoop of granny smith apple ice cream, and 1 small scoop of tiramisu ice cream on a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 shortbread cookie with jam

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Disturbed

It seems that everyone has a lot to say in regards to my journey nowadays. And because I have so few answers even for myself lately, I have not been replying to the majority of the comments. But I lost a follower today whom I liked and whom I respected.

What saddens me about this is that apparently my pathetic inability to get on track right now coupled with my phenomenal capacity to remain open and honest about what I am doing is apparently disturbing. I am doing the best that I can. But now I wonder if I am doing more harm to the weight loss community by posting than I would be if I just stopped all together.

I have a rather large follower base, for which I am extremely grateful. Yet now I have to ask if allowing others this look into my life is causing potential harm? I have had my disclaimer on the side of this blog for many, many months, but is it enough? Maybe I should call this quits so that I don't drag others down with me...

I'm sorry I can't be more for all of you right now.

Out Of The Ordinary

I am not a big drinker in the least, but tonight I treated myself to my very own bottle of ice wine! It was a lovely indulgence and I admit I am feeling very relaxed and content right now. After another game of backgammon with my wonderful husband I think it will be time to turn in. What a truly nice evening…

And I must note that I am flabbergasted about, flattered by, and forever indebted to the now more than 500 individuals who have decided that this online journal is worth following. Thank you all so much! You are an incredible bunch of people and I truly appreciate that you take the time to read my words and comment on my journey. You are fabulous!!!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3 small slices of cranberry whole wheat toast with margarine
- 1 1/2 cups candied popcorn
- 2 pieces of chocolate zucchini cake
- 4 sandwiches on onion buns with cheese slices, light mayonnaise, and margarine
- 1 large glass root beer
- 4 cheese slices
- 4 glasses of cola
- 4 small glasses of ice wine
- 35 small whole grain crackers with 2 1/2 light Laughing Cow cheese wedges and hot pepper jelly
- 1 orange cream chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 6 hours of cleaning and painting trim

Almost Positive

I had a lovely day with family today! Spending time with loved ones really is the best gift! I wish I could see more of the people I care about on a regular basis…

I am consciously easing up on being concerned about what I eat for the next couple of days. I just feel like I need a little mental break before I get more fully back into the swing of things. Part of me argues that I shouldn’t be doing this – that it is a shadow of the return of so many times in years past when I would binge on foods that I would then not allow myself when attempting yet another diet – but I think I am finally getting into a good enough place that I can tell that I am not just fooling myself like that. At least I hope so. This feels like I am being honest and simply need the break from focusing so much on what is going into my stomach. Being aware of every single bite for nearly sixteen months has earned me a moment of reprieve, I think.

I will keep recording everything and have no intention of going totally crazy. I just finally have a day or two to relax a tad and I would like to incorporate that into every aspect of my life. I hope this works…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 toasted English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 3 small pieces of a chocolate peanut butter bar
- 1 white bun with deli ham, a cheese slice, lettuce, and margarine
- 1 mug tea with cream
- 8 thin ginger cookies
- 1 sugared doughnut
- 1 glass cola
- 1 mug hot chocolate with whipped cream
- 1 glass of a piña colada smoothie
- 1 cup Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and croutons
- 6 ounce rare steak
- 1 1/2 cups yam fries with chipotle dipping sauce
- 1 slice pumpkin cheesecake with whipped cream and chocolate sauce
- 2 cups candied popcorn

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

A Necessary Distraction

I am so tired! I was all ready to head to bed over an hour ago because I have an early start in the morning, but – as usual – other things distracted me and now my eyes are scratchy! Ah well… at least I find the things I do interesting and worth investing in. If nothing else, I generally enjoy it when life distracts me so…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 2 glasses cola
- 3 slice cranberry whole wheat toast with margarine
- 5 homemade chocolate marshmallow treats
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with margarine, cinnamon, and sugar
- 1 extra large eggnog milkshake
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

Feeling Buggy

I am fighting a cold or the flu or some sort of bug. My body is achy all over right now and I am starting to feel cranky. I think it is time for bed…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 butter popcorn rice crackers
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a cranberry bar with icing
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 1 homemade oatmeal raisin cookie
- 1 glass of cola
- 3/4 cup pasta with white cheddar sauce
- 4 slices whole wheat cranberry toast with margarine
- 1 slice homemade fruitcake

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 20 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (25 minutes long and 55 minutes long)

Walk It Off

I am feeling really emotional. It just came on like a ton of bricks this evening and I have not handled it well. On the slightly better side, I did manage to get in some pretty good walking time today. It’s just too bad it won’t make up for the surplus of calories I consumed at the end of the night.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1 banana
- 1 strawberry bran muffin
- 1 piece of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 5 chocolate filled tube wafer cookies
- 3 butter toffee rice cakes
-1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk
- 12 cheese crackers with cheese
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 cup pasta with Parmesan and garlic cream sauce
- 5 honey garlic chicken wings
- 1 1/2 cups onion wings with honey mustard sauce
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 10 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (50 minutes long and 20 minutes long)

Something’s Bugging Me

I went jogging tonight. And I ate a bug. Those two statements aren’t related in any way – I’m just sayin’…

I guess it was a big day.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3 miniature Mandarin oranges
- 1 banana
- 1 piece of a coconut lemon bar
- 1 eggnog steamed skim milk
- 3 1/2 cups phat thai with rice noodles, tofu, vegetables, peanuts, and spices
- 2 skewers of chicken satay
- 2 pieces of a peanut butter bar with icing
- 1 blueberry muffin with margarine
- 1 sour cream and onion flavoured cricket
- 2 hot dogs on whole wheat hot dog buns with cheese, light mayonnaise, mustard, and relish
- 1 1/2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 homemade chocolate marshmallow treat

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of jogging with a 5 minute walking warm up and a 5 minute walking cool down

Riding The Elevator

It was definitely an up and down day. I started off alright, but then when I was on my way into a mall I caught the scent of fresh baked doughnuts and it quickly drove me over the edge. I went and bought three. However, after I wolfed down the first one I took a few bites of the second and realized that I didn’t need it all so I put it back into the bag. I did the same with the third – eating about half – and then I rushed over to a nearby garbage can and threw out what was left before I justified consuming any more. It was a very minor, sort of bitter-sweet, victory, but I’ll take it.

Then in the evening I could not stop the munching. I even went and made a tiny batch of marshmallow treats because I didn’t want to risk leaving the house in search of something sweet and resultantly returning with a grocery bag packed with junk food. At least I finally got in some decent walking this afternoon. All in all it was not a stellar day, yet I know that a couple of weeks ago it would have been much, much worse.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 3 butter toffee rice cakes
- 12 inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, black olives, green pepper, honey mustard sauce, light mayonnaise, and pepper
- 1 glazed doughnut
- 4 bites of a chocolate long John with sprinkles
- 1/2 apple fritter
- 1 heated carrot muffin with margarine
- 2 scrambled eggs with cheese
- 1 tangerine
- 1 homemade oatmeal raisin cookie
- 1 glass of milk
- 2 hot dogs on whole wheat hot dog buns with cheese, light mayonnaise, mustard, and relish
- 1 mug hot chocolate with miniature marshmallows and milk
- 2 slices cranberry whole grain toast with margarine
- 4 homemade chocolate marshmallow treats

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 5 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (30 minutes long, 15 minutes long, and 20 minutes long)

Nothing Exciting

I don’t really feel like I have much to say tonight. I think it was a decent day; it was pretty similar to yesterday with a mostly reasonable food list (perhaps with one glaring exception), moderate movement throughout my day, but no real exercise to speak of. I did manage to knock a few things off my ‘to do’ list which was nice. Other than that the last twenty-four hours have been pretty uneventful.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with cheese and salami
- 2 heated carrot muffins with margarine
- 7 large crackers with 1 light Laughing Cow cheese wedge and hot pepper jelly
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat and oat flake granola cereal
- 2 slices roast beef
- 1 1/2 cups cheesy potatoes
- 1/4 cup corn with margarine
- 2 cups peanut butter and toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

You Win Some, You Lose Some

I had the best food day I have had in quite some time; it wasn't perfect, but it was much, much better than it has been. On the other hand, my exercise was pretty sad. I did a bit of walking around as I skulked through the retail stores on the hunt for Christmas gifts, but the official activity level was nearly non-existent. I suppose some improvement is better than none.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 pear
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 1 banana
- 12 inch sub on a Parmesan oregano bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, black olives, honey mustard sauce, light mayonnaise, and pepper
- 1/2 chocolate cupcake topped with marshmallows and chocolate icing
- 1 large glass piña colada slushy drink

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Derailed

I just had this thought as I was writing out my food list for today: “Huh! I ate a lot.” That’s never a good thing when you are trying to get back on track…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 3 butter toffee rice cakes
- 1 banana
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 sandwich on multigrain bread with deli turkey, stuffing, lettuce, cranberry sauce, and light mayonnaise
- 1 apple fritter
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread with margarine
- 1/2 tangerine
- 1 coffee candy
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 large glass root beer
- 1 cup jalapeño potato chips
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Strategizing

I grazed all day today and topped it off with a heavy dinner. That’s not exactly a great tactic for weight loss. I especially need to reign in my treats. But, right now, my biggest plan is just to go to bed and try to get a few hours of sleep before my Friday begins.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 3 butter popcorn rice cakes
- 1 banana
- 2 toasted English muffins with bacon, egg, cheese slices, and margarine
- 1 milk chocolate
- 1 key lime chocolate
- 1 carrot cake chocolate
- 1 eggnog chocolate
- 1 chocolate peanut butter cup
- 12 rice crackers with cream cheese
- 1 heated banana muffin with margarine
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 large apple fritter
- 1 cup French fries with vinegar, salt, and tartar sauce
- 2 piece battered fish with tartar sauce
- 1/4 cup coleslaw
- 1 butter cookie
- 1 cup vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce
- 1 mug tea with milk

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Ten Truths

Thank you for the simple support, Dawne (and so many others).

1. I am being a very poor weight loss blogger.
2. I have not responded to any comments or emails in weeks.
3. I currently feel largely disconnected from this online community and have barely been visiting other blogs.
4. I have allowed many unhealthy habits back into my life.
5. I don’t foresee these things improving drastically in the immediate future.
However…
6. I am doing what I feel I need to because I must help myself before I can help others.
7. I still keep a daily journal which ensures that I am ever cognizant of my choices.
8. I record every scrap of food and every pathetic attempt at exercise without fail.
9. I have not shut down nor deserted my blog which, I know, many of my predecessors have.
10. I will persevere.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3 banana muffins with margarine
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 1/2 cups onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, onion, tomato, ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise
- 1 coconut chocolate bar
- 1 small orange chocolate bar
- 1 small peanut butter chocolate bar
- 4 small slices of French toast with white bread and maple syrup

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Feeling Peaceful

My husband spoils me. And if I needed more proof of this I received it at the start of this month when I found out that he had nominated me for a very meaningful award and, again, several days later when I learned that he had sought out and gained letters of support from those with whom I have had interactions. I was honoured to attend that dinner this evening and I honestly couldn’t care one iota about what I ate because I was too busy being in awe of the pure generosity of spirit of those with whom I was breaking bread. I feel very lucky to have been in the presence of such individuals and rather touched by the way they made me feel as valued for my small personal efforts as they are for integrating changes which effect things on much, much larger scales. It was truly humbling.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 3 cheese rice cakes
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with salami and cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake cereal
- 3/4 cup cheesy mashed potatoes with margarine
- 5 cherry tomatoes
- 1 glass white wine
- 2 pieces pita bread with hummus
- 1/4 cup lentil salad
- 1/2 cup green salad with balsamic vinaigrette
- 1 piece chicken in coconut milk with spices
- 1/4 cup split pea and mushroom stew in spicy sauce
- 2 slices baron of beef with Dijon mustard
- 3/4 cup seasoned rice
- 1 piece mango cheesecake
- 1 small mug chai tea
- 3/4 cup chocolate pudding

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Hallelujah

I thought I was handling my stressful day fairly gracefully. I would even go so far as to say that I was in a relatively good mood right up until a couple of hours ago. Then the day caught up with me.

I think the real kicker was that I gave blood this evening, and after an emotionally draining day I probably didn’t really need to also be literally drained. It was just too much. When you find yourself holding back tears in a drugstore while a gospel style song plays in the background, you know that you are overwhelmed.

And I must be a glutton for punishment because I just went online to find that particular piece and I’m listening to it now with a fresh set of tears blurring my vision. Sigh…

I’m not usually so melodramatic – and, truly, nothing is really wrong – but I guess I’m just doing my best to uphold the honesty that I have always tried to maintain on this blog. This is still a place for me to record my weight loss and health journey… but sometimes things move us in some unexpected way and, thus, they affect all of the parts of our lives.

So I write what I feel and know that is never a failure. I continue to do the very best that I can in every moment. And I will wake up tomorrow with a new day in front of me and the difficulties of this one already scattering like autumn foliage in the winds of the past.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1 cheese, red pepper, and spinach scone with butter
- 1 cup salted pretzels
- 2/3 banana
- 2 small glasses mango juice
- 6 fruit crème cookies
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 small marshmallow chocolate bar
- 1 small peanut butter chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Stress Eating

I have a bit of a stressful day ahead of me tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it, but I am going to do my best to not let my emotions get the best of me when it comes to my eating. Old habits may die hard, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t die at all.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup low fat lemon meringue yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 cup jalapeño potato chips
- 2 pieces whole wheat toast with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 bite glazed doughnut
- 1 orange cream filled chocolate bar
- 1 strawberry cream filled chocolate bar
- 1 apple
- 1 1/2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 3/4 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1 cup meatballs with gravy
- 12 large crackers with light cream cheese and hot pepper jelly

EXERCISE:
- 6 1/2 hours of walking around while shopping

Two Birds

I had a better day (again with the up and down trend). I got a lot of Christmas shopping done which I am very happy about. I have slowly been chipping away at my list and I have the majority of it done now, although I will probably go out for a few more items tomorrow. One thing I am really pleased with is that it’s been great for getting in exercise while still running errands!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup low fat cherry yogurt with 1 cup Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 mixed berries and almond granola bar
- 1/2 cup jalapeño potato chips
- 1 large glass root beer
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 2 large piña colada slushy drinks
- 1 piece dark chocolate
- 2 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 3 slices roast beef
- 1/2 cup meatballs in mushroom sauce

EXERCISE:
- 4 hours of walking around while shopping

I’d Like Off This Ride Now

Up and down and up and down… That’s what I feel like my emotions have been doing for a while now, especially during this past week. I had another very trying day. It started out well enough (I had the opportunity to attend a workshop that I really, really enjoyed), but went downhill after that and now I am tired and cranky and feeling anxious. I need to try and find some way to maintain a more even keel; this emotional roller coaster is taking it out of me which, of course, makes staying on track with the eating and exercise even harder. I didn’t do horribly today, but I certainly could have done better.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3 cheese rice cakes
- 3 hazelnut chocolates
- 1/4 cup yellow peppers with ranch dip
- 1 portabella mushroom wrap on a soft tortilla shell with rice, lettuce, and sauce
- 1 brownie
- 1 double chocolate chip cookie
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread square with icing
- 1 large eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 candy cane chocolate

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

No-Brainer

It definitely wasn’t the best eating day. I was on the go and rushing around for the majority of the afternoon and evening and I think that I reverted to what were been easy, no-brainer decisions in the past. I need to remember that things like bananas and whole grain baked goods are usually just as accessible as everything else. I need to try harder.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 piece of a peanut butter square with icing
- 1 lemon Danish
- 1/2 bagel with cream cheese
- 1 mug eggnog steam skim milk
- 2 large ginger molasses cookies
- 1 cheese bagel with light cream cheese
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup granola cereal
- 1 glass cranberry ginger ale

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour walk

Tired Of Being Tired

Sigh… Another evening where I am getting to bed way too late. Those seem to be piling up again and I need to kick the night owl habits. I am just not operating to my fullest capacity and I know it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 2 glasses of water
- 3 cheese rice cakes
- 1 banana
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 1/2 cups onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with lettuce, onion, and spicy sauce
- 1 piece homemade apple pie
- 3/4 cup blueberry yogurt and fruit salad with apple, orange, banana, and grapes
- 1 warmed cheese, bacon, and chive scone with butter
- 1 tiger brownie with chocolate drizzled icing
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 glass cranberry ginger ale

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

On The Bright Side

I am looking at the world with a lot less disdain than I was yesterday, thank goodness! I am, however, exhausted. It was a pretty sleepless night and a very draining emotional stretch. I am going to try to rectify that right now by going to bed while offering myself a slight pat on my own back for not letting the stress cause me to completely lose control in regards to my food intake.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 2 cheese rice cakes
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with cheese and salami
- 3 chocolate chip cookies
- 2/3 cup red berry Special K cereal with milk
- 2/3 cup corn flake cereal with milk
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with chives and margarine
- 1/2 cup meatloaf with ketchup

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

I Don’t Want To Talk About It

I had a really, really confusing and frustrating experience today and I can’t get my mind to stop dwelling on it. It was the kind of thing that makes you question pretty much your entire plan for life, along with your own sanity. I am very glad that I have wonderful people in my life whom I can count on in such times, but I am also completely done for the night.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 cranberry almond granola bar
- 1 Mandarin orange
- 1 cheese scone with butter
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 piece of a chocolate pecan square
- 1 strawberry cereal bar
- 1 mug coffee with cream and sugar
- 1 apple fritter

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 25 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (35 minutes long, 15 minutes long, and 35 minutes long)

Am I Going Overboard?

My dragon boating season is officially over. I am so sad! I think that the break really will do me some good considering how busy I have been lately, but it makes me feel down to think that I may not paddle again for three or four months. I don’t want to start feeling like it is an inconvenient obligation though, since I have such a hectic schedule right now, so the downtime will probably be a good thing. I’ll just really miss it!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 slices toast with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 scrambled eggs with salt
- 2 pieces bacon with maple syrup
- 2 sausages with maple syrup
- 4 pieces French toast with butter and maple syrup
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 baked potato with bacon pieces, margarine, and sour cream
- 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1 cup meatballs with mushroom sauce
- 5 orange cream filled chocolates

EXERCISE:
- 35 minute walk

Indulging

I had a wonderful evening out with my incredible husband! I ate too much and even had a few drinks, but it was a superb night and one I will not soon forget!

My lists will have to wait until tomorrow as I am off to bed!

*Edit:* ...and, as promised, here they are:

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 3/4 cup mixed berry yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 2 glasses punch
- 2 mini pizza bagels
- 1/2 cup tortilla chips with seven-layer dip
- 2 crackers with salami and cheese
- 1/4 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 large ginger molasses cookie
- 1 cranberry almond granola bar
- 3 glasses piña colada
- 5 small slices bread with butter
- 1 1/2 cups breaded squid with onion and lime chili sauce
- 1 bite of grilled salmon
- 7 ounce steak with barbecue sauce
- 1/2 lobster with melted butter
- 2/3 cup broccoli with butter
- 1 bite sticky toffee pudding with ice cream
- 1/2 piece white chocolate cheesecake with raspberry sauce

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Eye Of The Storm

It was a really good day, but I am beat! Life seems to be a whirlwind right now and I am trying to keep up. Days like today – where I get to spend time with people who are important to me – makes feeling so hectic a little easier. It was nice to relax for a few short hours this evening before I was off to tackle more things on my ever-growing list of tasks and errands. At least my mental health got a brief break!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 pear
- 1 banana
- 2 blueberry muffins with margarine
- 1 cup pasta with Alfredo sauce
- 1 slice whole wheat garlic bread
- 1/2 toasted English muffin with pasta sauce and grated cheese
- 12 inch sub on a white bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, black olives, onion, and mayonnaise
- 1/2 glass cola
- 4 cups popcorn with butter
- 1 large glass root beer
- 1 cup gummy and sour candies

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Holiday Happenings

I got some early Christmas shopping done today which felt good. Even though my official exercise was once more virtually non-existent, at least I was active. Checking things off my ‘to do’ list while doing a lot of walking is a win-win in my book!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 4 slices of multigrain cranberry toast with margarine
- 3/4 cup field berry yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, and mayonnaise
- 1 slice pumpkin fudge
- 1 small peanut butter chocolate bar
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

The Wall

I am so tired. I was doing pretty great with my energy throughout the day while I was busy, but as soon as I had a chance to sit for a few minutes I just hit a wall. I hadn’t thought I was doing too poorly with getting enough sleep, but I guess I haven’t been doing great with it either. I obviously need a really good night’s rest…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup blueberry yogurt
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with deli turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1 large apple doughnut
- 1 cup tortilla chips with salsa
- 2 slices of whole grain and cranberry toast with margarine
- 2 toasted English muffins with pepperoni, grated cheese, tomato and basil sauce
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 45 minutes of walking completed in 3 outings (all 15 minutes long)

The Dance Would Be A Lot More Fun

I was grumpy today which is relatively unusual. Even if I have stressors in my life, I don’t normally let them interfere with how I interact with the world. I certainly don’t think that I was unpleasant to be around, but I didn’t feel right either.

I suspect that it was because of the disappointment I felt yesterday; I believe it has left me with some hurt feelings for which I really have no recourse. I think there’s some anxiety mixed in there too. Regardless, I was definitely irritable today.

The food intake was not great although it wasn’t a complete nosedive either. The official exercise was nearly non-existent, but I did get in more movement and activity throughout my day than I normally do. I guess I sort of feel like I am in limbo.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 1/2 bananas
- 3 homemade chocolate dipped marshmallow treats
- 2 wraps on soft tortilla shells with deli ham, cheese, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup whole grain Cheerios cereal
- 1 wrap on soft tortilla shell with deli turkey and baba ganoush
- 1/2 wrap on soft tomato tortilla shell with baba ganoush
- 1 breaded fish burger on a hamburger bun with cheese, lettuce, and tartar sauce
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 2 pieces garlic bread on white bread

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Lesson Plan

It was an odd day – one that was filled with seemingly disconnected annoyances that ended up accumulating into one big sense of disappointment. I swear that it feels like the universe it trying to teach me lessons right now. Hopefully they are important and worth learning because I can’t knock the feeling that my buttons are being pushed on purpose. Sigh…

Now if only I could plan these frustrating bouts for days where I don’t have homemade chocolate marshmallow treats lying around. At least I got in some decent walking this afternoon!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 pear
- 8 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 pita bread with avocado and Asiago dip
- 2 small Mandarin oranges
- 7 cheese crackers with avocado and Asiago dip
- 1 1/2 cups steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with gravy
- 1 slice Swiss steak with gravy
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup whole grain Cheerios cereal
- 4 homemade chocolate dipped marshmallow treats

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 45 minutes of walking completes in 2 outings (15 minutes long, 1 hour and 15 minutes long and 15 minutes long)

Watch Out

It was a strange day. I didn’t think about food as much as I normally do because my focus was elsewhere. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not though. While I would love to get to a point where my eating is more instinctual again, I am not necessarily happy with the choices that I made today. I think I need to pay more attention…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 2 glasses of water
- 1 toasted whole wheat English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1/3 glass beer
- 4 cups chicken chow mein in black bean sauce
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 3 homemade peanut butter cups
- 1 glass sparkling apple juice
- 1/2 cup moussaka
- 1/2 cup roast potatoes
- 1 cup Greek salad with feta cheese and dressing
- 1 glass sparkling pomegranate apple juice
- 1 cup jell-o dessert with whipped topping
- 3/4 cup sweet potato fries with spicy mayonnaise

EXERCISE:
- 20 minute walk
- 1 hour of rowing a dragon boat in 2 outings (40 minutes long and 20 minutes long)

Derailed

I went generously treated to dinner by my inlaws tonight and apparently I lost all sense of reason when ordering. I thought I was doing a bit better, but this just serves to remind me that I need to stay really focused if I want to get back on track!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 toasted whole wheat English muffins with egg, bacon, cheese, and margarine
- 3/4 cup blueberry yogurt with 1 cup multi-grain flake cereal
- 2 glasses root beer
- 1 cheeseburger on a hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, and mayonnaise
- 1 1/2 cups sweet potato fries with spicy mayonnaise
- 1 slice chocolate torte cake
- 3/4 cup cheesecake ice cream
- 3/4 cup jelly beans
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Supportive Comments

I have the best husband! I had an okay day today – it was just sort of so-so. But then my wonderful man made my whole week by showing me just how much he cares! I am so lucky to have someone in my life who is willing to put in the occasional extra effort to make me feel special.

And it really is relevant to weight loss and healthy living, I think. To feel supported and like someone really cares is invaluable to someone like me who is struggling to return to better choices. Things seem easier and more simplified when my more anxious emotions are tempered with feeling loved and valued. I still need to operate healthily when things are not so great, but it really is nice to have that additional support once in a while!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 2 bananas
- 3 cheese rice cakes
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk
- 1 cream cheese pumpkin muffin
- 1 sandwich on sunflower bread with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, and Dijon mustard
- 1 small piece of a chocolate and caramel pecan bar
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1/2 cherry frozen yogurt tube
- 1/2 strawberry frozen yogurt tube
- 1/2 peach frozen yogurt tube
- 3 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 2 Italian sausages
- 1/2 cup lemon meringue yogurt with 1/2 cup cocoa Rice Krispies cereal
- 1/2 cup fat free mango-passion fruit yogurt with 1/2 cup cocoa Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 homemade chocolate chip muffin
- 1 piece of a cranberry gingerbread bar with icing

EXERCISE:
- 50 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 25 minutes long)

Slow But Steady

The last couple of days haven’t been perfect, but they have been an improvement. I am glad to feel like I am making some progress even if it isn’t as quick as I might like…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 cheese rice cakes
- 1 apple
- 2 wraps on soft tortilla shells with deli ham, cheese, and margarine
- 3/4 cup strawberry yogurt
- 1 apple cinnamon cereal bar
- 1 1/2 cups chicken noodle soup with 10 cheese crackers
- 1 cup pasta with Alfredo sauce
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 1/2 cup roast chicken
- 1 homemade chocolate chip muffin
- 1 mug eggnog steamed skim milk

EXERCISE:
- 50 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (15 minutes long and 35 minutes long)

Close Only Counts In Horseshoes

When I was sick on Monday, I had my husband bring me home a 2-liter of ginger ale because that has always been my beverage of choice for calming an upset stomach. Yesterday, when I went to have some in the morning I had a very, very scary moment. I took it out of the fridge and started to walk into the living room with it. That’s what I used to do when I drank pop all the time. I wouldn’t waste my time with doling out the liquid into glasses. No! I would just drink straight from the huge bottle it came in since I was going to go through it fast enough that nobody else would get the chance to have any of it anyhow. And I almost defaulted to that action yesterday. Almost. I’m hoping that was the wake up call I needed. I am not the person who has those types of habits anymore and I have no intention of reforming anything even close to those behaviours again. I have come too far!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3/4 cup fat free field berry yogurt
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 large golden delicious apple
- 1 teriyaki chicken wrap on a soft tortilla shell with rice, spinach, and yellow and red peppers
- 9 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 35 minute walk

Done

I have been avoiding saying the following because I haven’t wanted to admit that my issues are so big that they need such a resolute statement, but here it is:

This needs to stop!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 5 glasses ginger ale
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread with margarine and light mayonnaise
- 15 lemon cream cookies
- 1 cup ketchup potato chips
- 1/2 cup roast potatoes with margarine
- 2 roast chicken drumsticks with skin
- 1 cup salt and vinegar potato chips
- 1 glass root beer
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 coconut chocolate bar
- 1 piece cherry cheesecake
- 1/4 cup sugar candies
- 3 large white chocolate balls

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sick To My Stomach

I am feeling so ill! It came out of nowhere! I woke up this morning, after going to bed last night feeling just fine, and was totally nauseous. I haven’t been able to shake the sensation all day. To add insult to injury, I have been drawn to the comfort foods today – which seems to be my inclination whenever I am feeling sick. Ugh! I hope this goes away soon!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 6 Rice Krispie treats
- 1 chocolate chip cookie
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 mug hot chocolate
- 2 cheese scones with margarine
- 1 piece carrot cake with icing
- 3/4 cup fat free peach yogurt with 1 cup granola cereal
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 5 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 2 glasses ginger ale
- 1 cup mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 30 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (both 15 minutes long)

Happy, Happy, Happy Halloween!

I had a wonderful time out with the hubby this evening celebrating Halloween! It was so nice to get away with for a little while with no obligations to rush off to or errands to run. I have been so busy lately and I am really glad that I have such an incredible man in my life to help me stay connected to the things that are really important. Maintaining good mental and emotional health is just as important as the physical aspects that I am always working on!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 slices toast on white bread with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 piece homemade chocolate zucchini cake
- 6 chocolate peanut butter cups
- 1 breaded fish burger on a white hamburger bun with cheese, lettuce, and tartar sauce
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 cup salt and vinegar potato chips
- 2 cups pasta with meat sauce and grated cheese
- 2 slices garlic bread
- 1/2 cup chocolate peanut butter candies
- 1 mug apple cider
- 1/2 cup candy corn
- 1 lemon cupcake topped with lemon icing and a lemon gummy candy
- 1 vanilla cupcake topped with cream cheese coconut icing and coconut
- 1/2 cup roasted and salted pumpkin seeds

EXERCISE:
- 45 minutes of rowing a dragon boat in 2 outings (25 minutes long and 20 minutes long)
- 50 minute walk

Positives And Negatives

For the second day in a row I am going to bed early enough to feel like I’m finally getting a proper night’s rest. That’s the positive. On the more negative side of things, today was a pretty bad eating day. Halloween candy and left over bake sale items equated to a temptation that proved too much for me right now. But, back to the plus side of things, I am thinking that catching up on my sleep will leave me better equipped to deal with similar circumstances in the days to come.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 slice homemade zucchini loaf with margarine
- 1 cup chicken and scallop chow mein with broccoli
- 1 piece of a homemade jell-o layer bar
- 3/4 cup homemade cranberry sunflower seed bark
- 2 sugar cookies
- 1/8 cup Smarties candy
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread with margarine and light mayonnaise
- 5 whole wheat crackers
- 3/4 cup apple yogurt with 1 cup multi-grain flakes cereal
- 2 glasses rye and cola
- 3 slices pepperoni pizza
- 1 mug hot chocolate
- 1 scoop birthday cake ice cream in a waffle ice cream cone
- 1 glass cola
- 7 chocolate peanut butter cups
- 1/4 cup chocolate peanut butter candies

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

It’s Nice To Be Appreciated

Well, I have to say, the day was pretty fabulous! I saw the culmination of one of the projects I have been working on and it went over really well. I also had several different conversations with people throughout the day who generously expressed an appreciation for the work I put into things. It was definitely a day for compliments! I also got to go to a birthday party and relax, have fun, and enjoy the company of people with whom I love spending time. And I even get to sleep in tomorrow for the first time in what feels like forever! Things are looking up!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 glass chocolate peanut butter blended drink
- 1 piece homemade pumpkin cheesecake topped with butter toffee chocolate bar pieces and pumpkin spice whipped topping
- 2 breaded chicken nuggets with honey mustard sauce
- 2 cheeseburgers on hamburger buns with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise
- 1 glass root beer
- 1 homemade lavender shortbread cookie
- 1 piece ice cream cake
- 1 bite homemade jell-o layer bar
- 2 homemade Smarties cookies

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

Yet Another Use For Duct Tape

I baked and prepared all day long for yet another bake sale that is happening tomorrow. These events are really doing me in with the eating. And I will be running a good portion of the sale too so all the goodies will be right in front of me for a lot of the day. Maybe I should just duct tape my mouth shut…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 2 bites chocolate covered marshmallow with sprinkles
- 2 toasted English muffins with bacon, cheese, egg, and margarine
- 2 1/2 cups homemade caramel popcorn
- 1 lick lavender shortbread dough
- 1 homemade lavender shortbread cookie
- 1 lick cheesecake batter
- 1 waffle with maple syrup
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 6 sugar cookies
- 1 small bite of a homemade wheat puff bar
- 1 heated bacon, cheese, and onion scone with butter
- 1 apple cinnamon Danish
- 2 cups macaroni and beef
- 1 homemade chocolate candy cookie

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Goodies Are Bad

I am feeling overworked and I attended a bake sale today. Let’s just say that it wasn’t a great combination…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 2 cheddar rice cakes
- 1/2 cup flavoured jelly bellies
- 3/4 piece homemade lemon cake with lemon icing and topped with a jelly candy
- 1/2 piece homemade cranberry cake with icing
- 1 small slice homemade lemon pudding cake with glaze
- 1 piece homemade pecan square
- 1 lick of melted chocolate
- 1 small slice homemade chocolate pudding cake with glaze
- 3 small pieces homemade almond roca
- 1 cinnamon bun with icing
- 1 plain rice cake with cream cheese
- 1 piece homemade cranberry sunflower seed bark
- 3 pieces French toast on white bread with maple syrup
- 3/4 cup fat free cherry yogurt with 1 cup cocoa Rice Krispies cereal

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Cause And Effect

It was a bad food night. I am feeling overwhelmed with quite a few things and the desire for junk proved too much. I had so much ice cream that my stomach hurts.

I talked to my husband tonight about how I am just not very thrilled with me right now. I am working hard at so many different things – and not so hard at others – but regardless of what efforts I am putting forward I am left feeling like I am not moving in the direction that I want quickly enough. I am frustrated.

So I ate.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 2 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread with light mayonnaise and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free cherry yogurt with 1 cup cocoa Rice Krispies cereal
- 1 homemade lavender shortbread cookie
- 1 cup tiny cheesy crackers and raisins
- 3/4 cup steamed broccoli and cauliflower with margarine
- 2 breaded pork chops
- 3 cups macaroni and cheese with pepper
- 2 sunflower seeds
- 1/4 cup blackberry candy corn
- 2 cups peanut butter and butter toffee ice cream blend
- 1 ice cream sandwich

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Treading Water

It was a so-so kind of day. I participated in the rally that wrapped up this weekend's paddling event which was really cool. Other than that though, everything else felt drawn out and mildly exasperating. I hope tomorrow turns out better. It was really hard not to completely go off the deep end with my eating today...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3 caramel chocolate chip rice cakes
- 2 mugs hot chocolate
- 2 grilled cheese sandwiches on white bread with light mayonnaise and margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free lemon meringue yogurt with 1 cup wheat flake granola cereal
- 1 1/2 cups Special K berry cereal with milk
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 breaded fish burger on a white hamburger bun with cheese, lettuce, and mayonnaise
- 5 cheese and potato perogies with sour cream
- 2 sausages
- 5 licks chocolate icing
- 1 cup caramel popcorn

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk
- 45 minutes of walking in a rally

Until Tomorrow...

I must sleep. I did the second paddle I mentioned in my last entry and, although it wasn't half the distance of yesterday's, I can barely move. My lists will be have to be posted tomorrow.

I'm So Mad

I can barely think straight. I have been so, so tired already lately and today I pushed my body to the max by paddling for probably more than thirty kilometers. It was unreal. And there's a small possibility that I will be back out on the water for a smaller portion of the same event tomorrow. Yikes! Maybe I should have my sanity assessed...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 3 glasses of water
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 1 sandwich on whole wheat bread with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 cranberry almond multi-grain bar
- 1 mug hot chocolate
- 1 sandwich on a white bun with salami, cheese, and tomato
- 1 cinnamon apple multi-grain bar
- 8 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies
- 2 mugs tea with instant creamer
- 2 glasses orange flavoured drink
- 3/4 cup green salad with ranch dressing
- 3/4 cup salmon
- 1 1/2 cup pasta salad with cheese, onion, red and yellow pepper, tomato, and dressing
- 3/4 cup roasted seasoned potatoes
- 2 sips whiskey
- 1 sip Grand Marnier
- 6 bannock biscuits
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 5 hours and 45 minutes of rowing a voyager canoe completed in 3 paddles (2 hours and 40 minutes long, 2 hours and 20 minutes long, and 45 minutes long)

Something Fishy

Well, I was going to sleep in tomorrow, but instead I am going to be up and out of the house before dawn to join in on a marathon paddle to raise awareness of the issues of fish farming and the importance of protecting wild salmon. I may be sleep-deprived, but at least I usually give up my rest for good reasons.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 cheddar rice cakes
- 3/4 cup fat free field berry yogurt
- 9 cheese and potato perogies with sour cream and bacon bits
- 1/2 cup blueberry yogurt
- 1/2 cup red pepper
- 2 cups mint chocolate ice cream blend
- 1 pan-fried steak with mushrooms
- 1 baked potato with margarine and sour cream
- 1 cup broccoli with margarine
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt with 1 cup cocoa Rice Krispies cereal
- 2 slices with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 1 cranberry almond granola bar

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

The Friend Ship

I had to say goodbye to a friend this evening who is going overseas back to his home. I really hate it when people leave. He is one of the members of my dragon boating team and I’m going to miss him so much!

We had one last get together tonight with just four of us who joined at about the same time and have connected because of similar experiences (and lack of experience), age, and personality. It was a great night with a couple of drinks and some tasty - though, come weigh day, likely regrettable - food choices. I just really wish such a fun evening didn't have to be brought about by having someone I care for move far away.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 2 caramel and chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 heated wrap on a soft tortilla shell with seasoned ground beef, cheese, spinach, and tomato
- 3/4 cup fat free mango-passion fruit yogurt
- 1 glass lemonade
- 1 piece of a peanut butter square with peanut butter icing
- 1 apple
- 1 cup small cheesy crackers with dried cranberries
- 2 glasses rye and cola
- 2 onion rings with tartar sauce
- 1 1/2 pieces battered and fried cod with tartar sauce
- 1 cup French fries with tartar sauce
- 2 bites chocolate cheesecake
- 1 cup of lemon trifle with whipped cream

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 20 minute walk

A Vague Sense Of Sadness

It was kind of a ‘meh’ day. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either. I just sort of did my thing.

I think I am bordering on sad, but I don’t believe I have too good of a reason to be feeling that way. So, I’m simply continuing on and trying not to give myself much of a chance to truly get down. A couple of things that I really wanted are not going to happen. These types of opportunities come along often enough, so I don’t know why I am letting it get to me now. I guess I just felt like they were perfect fits – that I could have made more of them than other people. I know I’m being vague; I just don’t want to dwell.

This is turning into a bit more of a gloomy entry than I had realized it would be. I suppose I just need time to get over all this. The problem is there never seems to be enough of that one, precious commodity…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3 caramel and chocolate chip rice cakes
- 1 pear
- 2 bites pumpkin bread
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with smoked beef, cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise, and Dijon mustard
- 1 glass chocolate peanut butter blended drink
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 apple
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 2 cups peanut butter and butter toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 15 minute walk

Ay, There's The Rub

Yes! I am going to bed at a half decent hour! My husband promised me that if I did that he would give me a nice, long massage. How could I turn that down!? I know it’s a bit of a problem that I have to force myself to slow down, and that my poor hubby felt the need to resort to bribery to get me to take care of myself, but at least I’m finally doing it…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3 cheddar rice cakes
- 3/4 cup fat free strawberry yogurt
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 glass chocolate peanut butter blended drink
- 1 cup macaroni and cheese
- 3/4 cup cauliflower with ranch dip
- 3 slices of roast with gravy
- 1 cup steamed broccoli with margarine
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 20 minute walk

Not Enough Time In The Day

I have been on the go and working at stuff just about non-stop since 6:00am this morning and tomorrow will start at the same time. Why am I still up?! Oh, yeah… I am not quite finished everything that I have to get done. I wonder if toothpicks will suffice to hold my eyelids open for this last half hour?

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 11 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 1/4 cup carrots with roasted red pepper dip
- 1 mug pumpkin spice steamed soy milk
- 1 large sandwich on white bread with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 slice peach cheesecake
- 1 piece chocolate cake with chocolate icing and white chocolate shavings
- 3/4 pita pocket with roasted red pepper dip
- 1 apple
- 1 grilled cheese sandwich on white bread with margarine and light mayonnaise
- 1/2 cup fat free mango-passion fruit yogurt with 1/2 cup wheat flake granola cereal

EXERCISE:
- 25 minute walk

The Rookie

I had an exciting night! I was thrilled to be recognized – along with an amazing girl who is also new to paddling this year – as our team’s Rookie(s) Of The Year! Woo hoo! I was even given a book of poetry to mark the occasion! It’s so nice to be acknowledged for the effort that I have put into dragon boating over the past seven and a half months, and I am overjoyed that I get to share the honour with a teammate whose skills I genuinely respect.

We had our wrap up party this evening which makes me a bit sad. It was wonderful to spend time with everyone off the water, but it is sad to know that the season is practically over with just a few more practices being squeezed in before the really bad weather arrives. I know that several people won’t be returning to the team next year for a variety of reasons, and I think I will likely be stepping up into more of a leadership role with some expanded responsibilities, so things are definitely changing. It all just makes me realize how much I have enjoyed being a part of this team. I really hope that we can make next year’s even better!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 5 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 2 mugs Chinese tea
- 2 cups chicken chow mein
- 1 cup black bean pork with green pepper and onion
- 1 cup sweet and sour pork
- 2 glasses of rye and cola
- 1 Peking duck wrap on a small flour tortilla with sauce
- 1 sip corn and mushroom soup
- 1 cup rice with 1 cup duck, chicken, and pork in assorted sauces
- 1/2 cup spicy tofu
- 1 Peking duck lettuce wrap with sauce
- 1 cup vegetable, chicken, and peanut dish
- 1 cup crispy noodles with sauce
- 1 cup beef and broccoli
- 2 almond cookies
- 1 Chinese sweet sesame ball
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour of rowing a dragon boat

The Best Of Intentions

Every day I think, “Today I will have the opportunity to do a proper journal entry,” or “I will make sure that I set aside some time just to blog about my journey.” Yet each day still ends up with a lackluster rehashing of how I just can’t seem to get to it all.

Well, how’s this for insight: this is an exact replication of what I am currently doing in regards to my weight loss. Every day I swear I will do better and I make assurances to myself that yesterday’s mistakes will be left in the past as I more forward, making better choices. And yet…

Gee, I wonder if one has anything to do with the other?

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 pear
- 1 banana
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 8 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 1 cheeseburger on a white hamburger bun with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and sauce
- 8 French fries with salt and ketchup
- 1/4 glass of cola
- 1 piece of lime yogurt mousse cake topped with white chocolate
- 1 bite of a churro
- 1/2 chocolate cream filled cookie topped with chocolate sugar crystals
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 35 minute walk

Weigh-In For Week 62

Well, I am down a teeny-tiny 0.4 of a pound. I know that the weight is coming off at just a trickle, but at least the scale has been moving in the right direction for the past two weeks.

Weekend Chores

Even my Friday nights are packed full of errands and projects. Sometimes it feels like there’s no end of this busyness in sight! I thought that I would have a bit of time to relax this weekend, but now that I have taken a closer look at my to do list I am doubtful. I am thankful that I at least enjoy all of the things that I am working on, but I do still wish I could have more of a chance to collect some better thoughts in regards to this journey…

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 cup carrots with roasted red pepper dip
- 6 inch sub on an Italian herbs and cheese bun with deli ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, green pepper, black olives, onion, light mayonnaise, honey mustard, and pepper
- 1 toasted English muffin with light peanut butter and light strawberry jam
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 4 crackers with cheese
- 1 mandarin orange
- 1 peanut butter and butterscotch yogurt granola bar
- 1 apple
- 1 scoop praline ice cream and 1 scoop pumpkin pie ice cream in an ice cream waffle cone

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Off To Bed...

... it's just that simple. It was a 'meh' kind of day. I have nothing new to report other than the fact that today greeted me with the same crazy schedule and left me with the typical end-of-day exhaustion that has been leaving me little more than a cyber mute of late. But, I still check in. It may not be a lot, but I am proud that I keep on at least doing that.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 4 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 peanut and butterscotch yogurt granola bar
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt
- 1 mug marshmallow steamed soy milk
- 1 sandwich on a baguette with turkey, cheese, lettuce, and herb mayonnaise
- 1 large apple fritter
- 1/2 strawberry cream puff topped with powdered sugar
- 3 slices pork picnic with honey mustard and brown sugar glaze and Dijon mustard
- 10 whole wheat crackers with cheese

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Serves Me Right

Sometimes my own gluttony shocks me. It doesn’t happen a lot anymore. Most of the time I nibble throughout the day and so if have a high caloric count it is because I have been grazing rather than sitting down to an enormous meal. Tonight however I had a sushi combo all to myself followed by a large ice cream treat. I feel positively ill.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 cup carrots with roasted red pepper dip
- 3/4 cup low fat cherry yogurt
- 1 strawberry cereal bar
- 1 1/2 apples
- 6 inch sub on an Italian herbs and cheese bun with deli ham, cheese, green peppers, black olives, onion, light mayonnaise, honey mustard, and pepper
- 1 piece of a chocolate pecan square
- 1 bite of a chocolate marshmallow square
- 1/2 mug apple cider
- 1 1/2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 toasted bagel with cream cheese
- 5 pieces of a dynamite sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 6 pieces of an Alaskan sushi roll with soy sauce
- 2 bites of sweet and sour pork
- 2 1/2 cups peanut butter and butter toffee chocolate bar ice cream blend

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 15 minute walk

The Hole Is (Temporarily) Greater Than The Some Of All Parts

At some point, somewhere along this road, I fully expect to get back into the full swing of blogging. There will be insights and helpful hints, philosophical queries and introspective examinations. This abyss of uncreative writings and online mutterings will eventually be replaced by useful posts. Yes. It will happen. Someday.

Not today.

But someday.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 7 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 1 small piece of homemade pumpkin cheesecake with caramel sauce, butter toffee chocolate bar pieces, and 95% fat free pumpkin whipped topping
- 1 pear
- 1 mug pumpkin spice steamed soy milk
- 9 pieces of a California sushi roll with soy sauce
- 1 pumpkin scone with icing
- 1 apple
- 2 pizza pockets with pepperoni, cheese, green pepper, and mushrooms
- 3 slices pork picnic with honey mustard and brown sugar glaze and mustard
- 1 cup cheesy roast potatoes
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal

EXERCISE:
- 40 minute walk

Doing My Impression Of A Turkey

I am stuffed! Yes, Thanksgiving in Canada has come and gone and I am feeling very appreciative of all the wonderful things that I have in my life! May everyone know such joy during their own celebrations!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 3/4 cup low fat spiced apple yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal
- 8 gingersnap cookies with 95% fat free whipped topping
- 10 licks of pumpkin cheesecake batter
- 10 whole wheat crackers with herb and garlic soft cheese
- 1 almond and yogurt granola bar
- 10 gherkin pickles
- 1 glass white wine
- 1 1/2 cups autumn medley spinach salad with goat cheese, butternut squash, and raspberry vinaigrette
- 1/2 cup corn with butter
- 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with butter
- 1 cup turkey with gravy, cranberry sauce, and 1 cup stuffing
- 1 1/2 pieces of homemade pumpkin cheesecake with caramel sauce, butter toffee chocolate bar pieces, and 95% fat free pumpkin whipped topping
- 1 piece of homemade lemon meringue pie

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Sleepy Time

This is the second day in a row that I have posted on the following morning rather than during the evening as per normal. Once more, the temptation to just crawl into bed after a long day proved too much. On the up side, I suspect that the extra sleep I have gotten over the last couple of nights has left me much more refreshed than I have been of late! Now to direct that surplus of energy into being more productive...

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 9 glasses of water
- 1 apple
- 1 pear
- 1 1/2 cups drained cubed peaches in syrup
- 15 whole wheat crackers with herb and garlic soft cheese
- 1 cup cheesy roast potatoes
- 1 cup cheesy broccoli and cauliflower with margarine
- 2 slices whole grain bread with margarine
- 3 slices pork picnic with honey mustard and brown sugar glaze and mustard
- 3/4 cup low fat piña colada yogurt with 1 cup rice and wheat flake cereal

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Different Strokes

I came home yesterday and – after a short stint of just watching television with my husband on the couch for a chance – I face planted onto the bed and didn’t wake up until about an hour ago. So, obviously, I delayed putting up my lists and thoughts from Saturday until right now…

Yesterday was one of the few days where I didn’t endeavor to record all of my food throughout the day, but rather I wrote it all down just over the last few minutes based on memory. I think that I have compiled the entire list, but there were a lot of random items because it was such on out of the ordinary day. Hopefully, it is accurate.

I had a boating regatta yesterday - unfortunately the very last one of the season - and it was a strange beast indeed! My team is for dragon boating, but this event had us broken up into two teams and paddling in 10-person voyageur canoes. The races were three to four times longer than the ones we are used to competing in and they feature lots of turns and loops instead of the straight runs we have mostly done in the past. But it was such a blast!

I got to do lead stroke for all three of our races which was really exciting (and a little different since the front bench on the canoes only seats one person rather than two like on the dragon boats)! We came in third in our first heat and got first place in our second race, which meant that we got to compete in the A division finals! That second heat was amazing too; the whole boat had an incredible synergy and was the embodiment of what it means to work together as a team!

We came in last in the finals, but we still had a great time! And that last race was really different. We had to row out from the start, collect a pumpkin from the water which had been dropped from an overhead bridge, paddle down to a buoy where we did a tight turn to race back to where we had started, make a right, head into a beach area, have a runner jump out to receive a glass of cranberry juice which he then had to carefully walk down atop his paddle to a place where he exchanged it for a bag of cranberries and then run back to our canoe and jump back on, then we had to go around one more marker and head in a straight line for the finish! Like I said, it was very different!

After all of the fun of the regatta I got to go to my in-laws for a tasty Thanksgiving dinner. It was wonderful to relax with family after such an exciting and exhausting day of paddling, and I am very thankful that I have such opportunities to enjoy myself so thoroughly in a variety of ways! I am very lucky and I know it!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 8 glasses of water
- 1 cherry tomato
- 1 small glass apple juice
- 2 sausages
- 2 pancakes with butter and syrup
- 2 bites of a cranberry sausage
- 6 small chocolate peanut butter cups
- 4 pieces of a chocolate peanut butter square
- 1 slice of coffee cake
- 1 bite of haggis
- 1/2 cup cranberry chili
- 1/2 cup coconut peanut brittle
- 2 slices eye of round peppercorn beef
- 2 white dinner buns with butter
- 1/2 cup roast potatoes with butter
- 1/8 cup canned corn with butter
- 1 cup broccoli, celery, cherry tomatoes, and carrots with ranch dip
- 1 slice brown sugar coffee cake with whipped topping, ice cream, and caramel sauce
- 1 mug tea with milk
- 1 coconut chocolate bar

EXERCISE:
- 8 1/2 hours at a long boat regatta (approximately 40 minutes on the water)

Weigh-In For Week 61

I am down 0.2 of a pound from last week. It's nowhere close to the stellar drop I was hoping for, but given that I am - yet again - rushing off on my way out the door - I will take it.

T.I.R.E.D.

My brain is working in incomplete sentences right now, but at least it’s still mildly creative:

Too sleepy.
Irresistible bed.
Rest is needed.
Exhausted.
Dreams are coming.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 1/2 cups strawberries
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with canned ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 5 chocolate wafer sticks
- 1 apple
- 1 cup celery sticks with roasted red pepper dip
- 1 apple cinnamon cereal bar
- 1 cranberry bran muffin with margarine
- 1/2 nectarine
- 1 1/3 cups Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese and croutons
- 5 yam fries with spicy mayonnaise
- 1 cheeseburger with bacon, mushrooms, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise
- 6 bites of a chocolate brownie dessert with whipped cream, ice cream, chocolate sauce, and peanuts
- 1 deep-fried banana dessert with whipped cream, ice cream, and chocolate sauce

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

Grumble

I am very tired of all this right now. I haven’t had a bad day per se. I am just not really jiving with the online journaling. I am sure it’s because I am having a hard time with this journey. I feel like I have been floundering for too long.

Tonight my husband asked me what was wrong; he said I seemed uncomfortable. I started to cry and told him that all I wanted was to eat. It was just a moment… and one that I kind of won, if I decide to look on the bright side, because I didn’t walk out the door with my admission to go out and buy all the sugary treats that I had been wanting right then. And I don’t feel like that all of the time (not even a lot of the time). But, sometimes, those thoughts drift in and are hard to get rid of.

I’m rambling and I know it. Like I said, I am tired. I won’t be giving this up; it’s too good for me even if I am too dispassionate to truly realize that or to completely commit to it right now. I will keep at it. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 6 glasses of water
- 1 cup strawberries
- 4 chocolate wafer sticks
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 3/4 banana
- 1 nectarine
- 1 mug pumpkin spice steamed soy milk
- 1 slice white chocolate mousse cake with whipped cream and coconut
- 1 2/3 waffles with margarine and maple syrup
- 2 slices garlic bread with Parmesan
- 1 cup cinnamon Mini Wheats cereal
- 15 whole wheat crackers with garlic and herb soft cheese

EXERCISE:
- 20 minute walk
- 40 minutes of rowing a dragon boat

Achieving The Dream

It was not the best day food wise today; there was definitely a little bit of a backslide going on again. I need to get myself an electric collar or something!

Seriously though, the day itself was fabulous and getting better by the second! I am feeling very happy right now, so I think I am going to end on a high note and try to turn in semi-early once again. Two nights of decent sleep in a row… I was starting to think it wasn’t possible!

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 2 caramel rice cakes
- 1 large strawberry spread and chocolate stuffed cookie with icing
- 1 sugar cookie with sprinkles
- 1 apple fritter
- 1 cup onion rings with honey mustard sauce
- 1 1/2 cups peanut butter chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli turkey and eggplant baba ghanouj
- 1/2 pear
- 12 whole wheat crackers with cheese
- 1 mug decaffeinated tea with milk

EXERCISE:
- 10 squats

The Bed Is Calling To Me

I am finally getting to sleep at a decent hour! Yay!!! Wow, maybe I shouldn’t be so excited about such a simple thing, but there it is.

I am wiped too. I got in a couple of walks today and I just got home from a crazy dragon boating practice about an hour ago, so I really feel like I earned a good, solid rest. I pretty much always feel that way actually - it just never happens! But, this evening, I took a hot bath, put on my fuzzy bathrobe, and now I am checking in on here before calling it a night. Sometimes it really is the simple things that make life grand.

FOOD & BEVERAGES:
- 5 glasses of water
- 1 banana
- 3 caramel rice cakes
- 1 wrap on a soft tortilla shell with deli ham, cheese, dried cranberries, spinach, fat free Miracle Whip, mustard, and pepper
- 1 mixed berry yogurt
- 1 piece of a peanut butter square with icing
- 1 golden delicious apple
- 2 cups pasta with cream sauce
- 1 cup cauliflower with ranch dip
- 2 cups mint chocolate bar ice cream blend
- 3/4 cup low fat orange yogurt with 1 cup Multigrains cereal

EXERCISE:
- 1 hour and 15 minutes of walking completed in 2 outings (55 minutes long and 20 minutes long)
- 50 minutes of rowing a dragon boat